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If I was God (silly version)

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NLK Mo A Since: May, 2010
#76: Apr 5th 2012 at 11:13:42 AM

I'd release a Let'sPlay of Age Of Mythology.

edited 5th Apr '12 11:13:50 AM by NLK

Likes many underrated webcomics
Narmer The Quiet One from some state in Mexico. Since: Nov, 2010
#77: Apr 5th 2012 at 11:05:13 PM

  • Give cats the ability to fly.
  • Troll people by saying that the end of the world will be next week.
  • Create the most powerful gaming computer ever.
  • Revive Michael Jackson
  • Challenge Satan to a lightsaber duel.
  • Any games currently in Development Hell will be completed and released. And they will be awesome.
  • Clone Isaiah Mustafa so everyone can have their own Old Spice Man.
  • Smite any hypocrites.
  • Be as outrageous and fabulous as Taric.
  • Learn Japanese.

KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
#78: Apr 6th 2012 at 12:12:12 AM

I'd give everyone a second head, then watch the world burn.

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
djmaca Secret Character from Philippines Since: Apr, 2010
Secret Character
#79: Apr 6th 2012 at 3:21:55 AM

[up][up][up]Wasn't there one already?

...a little brother should belong to his older sister, right? - Orimura Chifuyu
GameChainsaw The Shadows Devour You. from sunshine and rainbows! Since: Oct, 2010
The Shadows Devour You.
#80: Apr 6th 2012 at 4:55:21 AM

  • I'd deploy a heavenly Loser Horn every time an incumbent was kicked out of office.
  • People would have the power to walk on water, but it would be sporadic and fail abruptly and without warning.
  • In performances of "Stairway to Heaven" I would come down off a literal heavenly stairway and join in with the performers occasionally.
  • If I felt the need to create other, lesser Gods, or had them foisted on me by circumstance, as head of the pantheon I would at least attempt to make sure they were given jobs they liked, and if this was impossible I would at least ensure a rotationary schedule to ensure that nobody has to guard the gates of hell for too long.
  • If I was a lesser God as part of a pantheon, if given a lousy job I would consider carefully my bosses reasoning, take it as an honour, and at least send a Strongly Worded Letter his or her way before I broke out the titans.

The term "Great Man" is disturbingly interchangeable with "mass murderer" in history books.
KarlKadaver Stupid Man Suit Wearer from Just offscreen... Since: Apr, 2011
Stupid Man Suit Wearer
#81: Apr 6th 2012 at 7:07:15 AM

I'd occasionally roll d100's to determine people's fates. I would tell those people what the roll was and ask if they would like to make a Saving Throw.

Every now and then, I'd stop by a local carnival and play tons of skeeball, then give my prizes to children.

Every now and then, I would stop by a local casino and "loosen" several slot machines.

You will know that you have lost my favor if your voice becomes mysteriously Autotuned.

Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
sabrina_diamond iSanity! from Australia Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: LET'S HAVE A ZILLION BABIES
#82: Apr 8th 2012 at 9:25:51 PM

  • If I was a goddess, everyone would have superpowers
  • They would spontaneously burst into song like you see in musicals
  • The Bad Guy Wins and tells everyone to party until sundown
  • Laziness is mandatory and there is No workkkkk.
  • I would have a form of something Lovecraftian as a God in Human Form
  • Every life would have a happy ending until Victory Is Boring
  • Reincarnation will be dictated by... The Wheel of Fortune! xD

In an anime, I'll be the Tsundere Dark Magical Girl who likes purple MY own profile is actually HERE!
BioSafety (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#83: Apr 9th 2012 at 11:13:53 AM

  • At puberty, all human beings would spend a year as a talking platypus.
  • Real platypi would speak fluent Esperanto and be about as intelligent as modern A.I.s.
  • High-ranking clergy in my church would wear platypus costumes.
  • Nobody would notice my bizarre obsession with platypi.
  • Elephants would be pink, and hallucinations would be of gray elephants.
  • My avatar would be a vending machine named Steve.
  • Whenever anybody fought a war, I would put them in a pocket dimension and make them settle the matter by playing Super Smash Bros Brawl.
  • Every now and then I would give random people Spider-man's powers. When they tried to use them to fight crime, they would suddenly lose them.
  • Australia would be inhabited by Yoda's species.

KarlKadaver Stupid Man Suit Wearer from Just offscreen... Since: Apr, 2011
Stupid Man Suit Wearer
#84: Apr 9th 2012 at 12:23:02 PM

Anytime someone would have a birthday, I would come down from the heavens and make their favorite flavor of cake appear before them.

Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
ElRigo I'm freezing! Send help! from Baja Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Awaiting my mail-order bride
I'm freezing! Send help!
#85: Apr 9th 2012 at 12:47:05 PM

[up] AND THEN EAT IT BEFORE THEM.

KarlKadaver Stupid Man Suit Wearer from Just offscreen... Since: Apr, 2011
Stupid Man Suit Wearer
#86: Apr 9th 2012 at 12:56:46 PM

[up] But only if they are evil.

Or they annoy me.

Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
GameChainsaw The Shadows Devour You. from sunshine and rainbows! Since: Oct, 2010
The Shadows Devour You.
#87: Apr 9th 2012 at 1:10:22 PM

He knows when you are sleeping

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good and you'll get CAKE!

edited 9th Apr '12 1:11:04 PM by GameChainsaw

The term "Great Man" is disturbingly interchangeable with "mass murderer" in history books.
NLK Mo A Since: May, 2010
#88: Apr 9th 2012 at 1:29:24 PM

@ djmaca: Yes, but not played by GOD. You know, in a game about gods? No?

Likes many underrated webcomics
ATC Was Aliroz the Confused from The Library of Kiev Since: Sep, 2011
Was Aliroz the Confused
#89: Apr 10th 2012 at 10:45:57 AM

If I was God, Ticks would be five feet long and they would breakdance all the time that they weren't sucking human blood; everybody would grow pasta out of their arm; eclipses would be much less rare; kittens would grow up to be turtles; and people would have built-in roller skates.

If you want any of my avatars, just Pm me I'd truly appreciate any avatar of a reptile sleeping in a Nice Hat Read Elmer Kelton books
KarlKadaver Stupid Man Suit Wearer from Just offscreen... Since: Apr, 2011
Stupid Man Suit Wearer
#90: Apr 10th 2012 at 10:51:56 AM

[up] "I keep beatboxing, but this tick just won't let go. I'm starting to feel a little woozy..."

Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
OrangeSpider Must Keep The Web Intact from Ursalia Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: On the prowl
Must Keep The Web Intact
#91: Apr 10th 2012 at 11:26:06 AM

  • All species of Spiders would be thrice as big.
  • All species of Spiders would have a faster reproduction cycle.
  • Some species of Spiders would be sentient and sapient.
  • Flies, Mosquitoes and all Spider's prey would reproduce faster and in larger numbers.
  • Some Spiders would be Vegan to troll mankind and guilt-trip them in stopping to hate Spiders.
  • 50-foot tall Spiders will sleep underground in secret caverns waiting for Judgment Day.
  • Some species of Spiders would swim in packs underwater.
  • Some species of Spiders would fly in packs.
  • From time to time, i'd make Spiders rain from the sky to show mankind who's boss.
  • From time to time, my Angels will show themselves to mankind. In the form of spiders.

Oh, and i'd wipe away from existence the letter K.

edited 10th Apr '12 11:27:22 AM by OrangeSpider

The Great Northern Threadkill.
JHM Apparition in the Woods from Niemandswasser Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Hounds of love are hunting
Apparition in the Woods
#92: Apr 10th 2012 at 11:43:25 AM

If I were God...

No, I'm kidding. I still have no idea of which is the correct form when.

...I would grant Carciofus a perfect understanding of English grammar.

edited 10th Apr '12 11:43:41 AM by JHM

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.
ElRigo I'm freezing! Send help! from Baja Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Awaiting my mail-order bride
I'm freezing! Send help!
#93: Apr 10th 2012 at 12:54:33 PM

If I was god I would have made people in my image. So everybody would be sexy as hell and thus, only personality would matter. However, everybody would be fucking nuts.

Carciofus Is that cake frosting? from Alpha Tucanae I Since: May, 2010
Is that cake frosting?
#94: Apr 10th 2012 at 1:00:55 PM

[up][up]Much appreciated, thanks tongue

If I was God, Esperanto would be the holy language. Attempts to use lesser languages would be met with sudden, "spontaneous" combustion.

edited 10th Apr '12 1:01:21 PM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
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