Follow TV Tropes
So, something happened, and some people ended up facing the Dignitary of the Earth, who at this time was somewhat high, both in terms of altitude and intoxication. In fact he was in heaven, and he'd brought up some people more or less because he was bored.
"But dignitary, I was just having some fel energy!" the Blood Elf said, "I mean, it's not like anyone can prove the stuff's addictive!!"
"Alright kids, move over and let Jecht show you how to make a real first post!" yelled a man with the body of a bronzed god as he smashed his way right through the fourth wall and landed in the center of the heavenly abode as everything around him exploded for no adequately explored reason. "First things first, you wanna make a dramatic entrance, like that!"
He then punted the Blood Elf into the sky and lept after him. "And then, lots of gratuitious violence for no real reason! Hah!" He twisted his body around as he flew through the air before landing a perfect kick on the elf, sending him flying towards the Dignitary at such a speed that the pointy-eared one burst into flames. "BEHOLD! The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III! Only I can do it, 'cause I'm the best!"
Once more, he fall to the ground and performed a perfect landing. "See kids, that's how you make an entrance! Now, I heard there was a party going on here! Where's the booze, kids?"
"Do not get... Too comfortable" Kael'thas said, as he got up, burn marks adding a nice shade of red to his beautiful skin. "That punt was merely a setback! I'll turn your world... Upside... Down. PYROBLAST!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
He sent a huge burning fireball at the Jecht, incinerating him.
edited 5th Mar '12 12:01:33 PM by Falkon
"Since when were you under the impression you incinerated that man?" A brown haired figure dressed in white asked with a drawling voice, a katana held aloft, tip pointed to the ground. The illusory Jecht disappeared from the flames as Aizen smiled condescendingly.
"Such a shame. You thought you had him. But in this place, I am god. Only I may stand at the top."
Jecht simply laughed as the fireball hit the fake Jecht. "Nice try kid, but seriously, I'm the best. You can't beat me."
He ran a hand through his hair and laughed heartily once more. "Ahahah! But seriously, where's the booze." It was less a statement and more a demand.
edited 5th Mar '12 12:06:14 PM by Moerin
Don't ask how he got there and how he managed to fit, but for some reason, the SUPER FREAKING TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN managed to be in the same place as Jecht, Kael'thas, and the Dignitary of the Earth... All while being the size of a normal human.
" Oh boy... We're going to have some sort of brawl?" STTGL said, somehow speaking sentiently.
"When the flames settle, we shall see who still stands!!! HAHAHA!!!! PUROBLAST PYROBLAST PYROBLAST!!!!"
Kael'thas sent three more fireballs out, they caused his lustrous blonde hair to sparkle.
"You really think that will hit me?" Aizen almost sighed, his expression showing nothing but vague amusement. Before he seemed to disappear into thin air, reappearing a second later behind the fire=spewing man. With a swipe, his sword slashed him from behind, impossibly fast. "You can never defeat someone so far above you."
As Kael's upper body left his lower body, he screamed. "This is merely a setback! By fire be purged! SUMMON PHOENIX!!!!"
A giant, fiery bird appeared, almost as beautiful as Kael'thas severed torso. It charged, burning everyone but it's master in the vicinity.
The fight between Kael and Aizen was interrupted when Jecht handed them both a pitcher each of the finest ale he could get his hands on. "Time for fighting's over, kids. I think we should all just have a drink. And since I'm the best, obviously I'm right."
With this, he drained his own pitcher in a single gulp. "Ah! Nothing like the good old Zanarkand Best!"
edited 5th Mar '12 12:21:02 PM by Moerin
STTGL decided that he might as well drink too. Which is odd considering he's a being made of Spiral Energy. Bah, whatever, common sense died the day we were born.
" Yo, beardy, I guess I'll have a drink too." He said.
edited 5th Mar '12 12:27:24 PM by Psyga315
Kael'thas sniffed the drink, making his face even prettier with the movements of his nose. He dropped a shard of fel in it, and began to sip at it. Suddenly, he glowed green.
"I am stronger for having been broken!" he said, and his legs reattached themselves to his wondrous form.
Without missing a beat, Aizen took the pitcher. "Hmph. Feel free to think what you want. A mere human can never compare to a god, after all." Aizen commented, sheathing his sword, Kyoka Suigetsu.
The Shrike silently stood, the thousands of blades composing it's body glinting in the light. It was like a statue, unmoving, never making a sound. Ruby red eyes stared straight forwards, impassively, and it's four long, multi-jointed arms dangled at its sides. To an observer, it seemed to be nothing more than an incredibly tacky sculpture.
"Ah, but I am no human!" Kael'thas proclaimed, lightning flashing in heaven's heavens, "I am the prince of the Sin'dorei!" with that, he snapped his fingers, and two of the most beautiful females in the nether appeared, and began to massage his fine body.
" And I am barely human... My might can rival and even outmatch gods, and my drill is the drill that pierces... no... CREATES the heavens." STTGL said to Aizen.
The most beautiful woman to ever exist, so beautiful that everyone instantly fell in love with her, be they man, woman, child, or anything else, walks towards the others, sparkling from prettiness as she went, moving with such grace that others could not take their eyes off of her. Happily, she exclaims in the most beautiful voice anyone there had ever heard, "Hi! I'm Ensign Mary Amethyst Star Enoby Aiko Archer Picard Janeway Sue! I'm a representative of the Federation!" Her voice was so beautiful that everyone there immediately got the urge to kiss her passionately, but couldn't because they were so in awe. No one could resist her charm, and they all fell in love immediately, for that is the natural response, and no one can ever resist.
"And I'm the best," boasted Jecht as he downed another pitcher in one gulp, before handing more out to anyone who didn't have a drink yet. "No autographs, though. The Great Jecht doesn't give autographs until after a game."
He wiped his mouth with his arm and began to do some stretches. "Right, enough booze! Who wants to see some of the best blitz action you'll ever see in your short, pitiful lives? The kinda stuff that'll make you realize that you'll never live up to me, since I'm the best, and you'll have to kill yourself because your life will be worthless! Hah!"
Ensign Mary Sue was so pretty, that even an energy being made of the willpower of men started to swoon for her, despite lacking such human emotions. Though right after he takes a pitcher and drinks it.
"Got enough names there, kid?" Jecht wasn't impressed. The Ensign was clearly trying too hard. It was really a shame that all of her efforts would go to waste, because she would never be Jecht, and Jecht was the best. Hell, his autobiography was even called "Jecht: Why I'm The Best And You're Just A Little Baby. What's Wrong, Gonna Cry? Gonna Cryyyy?".
"Oh, Jecht, if you don't think I have enough, I'll gladly add more for you!" Ensign Sue practically swoons for him, batting her perfect beautiful purple eyes, she speaks to him, her beautiful blond hair, flowing behind her like strands of gold in the wind, "Of course you must already be in love with me, after seeing my perfect beauty, and knowing that you had to have me immediately." Her words came like honey from her mouth captivating everyone's love for miles around.
"Tell me, since when were you all under the impression you weren't human?" Aizen asked the group casually. "Or the best or beautiful, for that matter? These labels you all hide behind. Mere illusions."
" Illusions that I can just smash through!" STTGL said to Aizen. Soon he tried to talk to Ensign Mary Sue.
" So... you're doing anything after this little party?" He asked, having little to no disregard for how well love ended for his pilot... er... pilots. Gattais are weird.
edited 5th Mar '12 1:36:23 PM by Psyga315
Ensign Sue begins to speak, her beautiful voice capturing the poor hearts of those who heard her, as her green eyes shone with enthusiasm, "Who, me? Well, of course you mean me, who else? I am the most beautiful person here." Ensign Sue smiles so radiantly that it literally shone, her beauty shining with it.
Community Showcase More