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Is it seen as a bad thing for guys to turn down sex?

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Clicketykeys Since: Sep, 2010
#101: Mar 21st 2012 at 11:51:41 PM

Short answer to the original question: Sometimes yes, but less often so than at any point in the remotely-recent past.

MidnightRambler Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan! from Germania Inferior Since: Mar, 2011
Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan!
#102: Mar 25th 2012 at 11:21:42 AM

To tell you the truth, if a healthy male turns down an "invitation" to have sex with someone he finds attractive, without a pretty damn good reason (he's in a relationship/the other party is drunk/et cetera), I'd just be stumped. Too stumped, in fact, to pass any kind of moral judgment.

I'd say that a guy turning down sex is a highly unlikely but morally neutral event.

Mache dich, mein Herze, rein...
BestOf FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC! from Finland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
#103: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:04:20 PM

I don't think it's unlikely at all. If I were to see 10 instances of single, sexually active guys getting offered sex by a supermodel, I'd expect to see 4 or 5 of them refuse. (If I were single, whether or not I'd refuse would depend a lot on what kind of day I'm having; it takes a certain kind of mood to want sex, and no one is in the mood most of the time.)

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
MarkVonLewis Since: Jun, 2010
#104: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:12:29 PM

That, and as they say nothing is free in this world. Generally if a supermodel walked up to one and offered sex, one would at least be slightly suspicious that some form of grift is afoot.

MostlyBenign Why so serious? Since: Mar, 2010
Why so serious?
#105: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:20:07 PM

More like two or three of them, at least according to Hatfield & Clark. Though I don't recall those studies using supermodels.

MidnightRambler Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan! from Germania Inferior Since: Mar, 2011
Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan!
#106: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:33:55 PM

That, and as they say nothing is free in this world. Generally if a supermodel walked up to one and offered sex, one would at least be slightly suspicious that some form of grift is afoot.

Heh. I always put it like this (don't remember where I got it from): if something seems too good to be true, it usually is.

Also:

someone he finds attractive
a supermodel

Not necessarily overlapping categories, people.

Mache dich, mein Herze, rein...
MarkVonLewis Since: Jun, 2010
#107: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:43:14 PM

Well I only phrased it like such because grift was my word of the day, and it seemed like a good time to use it without it being shoehorned.

But yeah, like you said if something seems too good to be true, it generally is. Not that I'm saying a man being offered sex by a woman means she's up to something, but it never hurts to be aware that something might be up.

BestOf FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC! from Finland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
#108: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:49:35 PM

[up][up]I personally haven't seen a supermodel that I would've found attractive, but I was just using that word as a shorthand for a physically desirable partner.

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Firebert That One Guy from Somewhere in Illinois Since: Jan, 2001
That One Guy
#109: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:51:39 PM

I'd like to think to men aren't such horndogs that they'd be expected to have sex with a stranger they met on the street. I definitely wouldn't take up the offer, that'd just be awkward.

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GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#110: Mar 25th 2012 at 2:59:24 PM

Sounds like the opening question just has too many loose ends, with the appropriate answer depending very much on them.

Tropers.That Human, post 24: So basically, a person can get a lot of flak regardless of how they live their life?

How true. Applicable to, like, every situation ever.

Tropers.Baff, post 43: More often that not it means you have standar[d]s. [sic]

Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings? Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Real men have standards.

Tropers.Midnight Rambler, post 106:

> someone he finds attractive

> a supermodel

Not necessarily overlapping categories, people.

I find regular folk on par more attractive than supermodels.

edited 25th Mar '12 3:00:11 PM by GlennMagusHarvey

MidnightRambler Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan! from Germania Inferior Since: Mar, 2011
Ich bin nicht schuld! 's ist Gottes Plan!
#111: Mar 25th 2012 at 3:39:35 PM

Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings? Blokes that bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy. Real men have standards.

You probably meant to say that with 'feelings' and 'standards' reversed. That, or you're being confusing.

Anyway, I'm with you in finding "normal" people (as in, people I actually know and talk to) a lot more attractive than models.

Mache dich, mein Herze, rein...
NativeJovian Jupiterian Local from Orlando, FL Since: Mar, 2014 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
Jupiterian Local
#112: Mar 25th 2012 at 5:22:46 PM

[up]He's (mis)quoting from Meet the Sniper. It Makes Sense in Context.

Really from Jupiter, but not an alien.
Martello Hammer of the Pervs from Black River, NY Since: Jan, 2001
Hammer of the Pervs
#113: Mar 27th 2012 at 8:07:03 AM

@Best Of - I have to disagree with you, there. I think maybe 1 of the 10 would turn down the attractive woman (meaning attractive to the individual guy), and that's even being generous. I'm also not sure what you mean by "in the mood for sex." I don't remember ever not being in the mood. I don't even think about it in those terms.

"Did anybody invent this stuff on purpose?" - Phillip Marlowe on tequila, Finger Man by Raymond Chandler.
inane242 Anwalt der Verdammten from A B-Movie Bildungsroman Since: Nov, 2010
Anwalt der Verdammten
#114: Mar 27th 2012 at 8:10:35 AM

Eh, too awkward.

Maybe that's just me being weird though.

edited 27th Mar '12 8:17:10 AM by inane242

The 5 geek social fallacies. Know them well.
Vericrat Like this, but brown. from .0000001 seconds ago Since: Oct, 2011
Like this, but brown.
#115: Mar 27th 2012 at 8:14:02 AM

Whoops, responded to a troll post. My bad.

edited 27th Mar '12 8:15:20 AM by Vericrat

Much to my BFF's wife's chagrin, No Pants 2013 became No Pants 2010's at his house.
inane242 Anwalt der Verdammten from A B-Movie Bildungsroman Since: Nov, 2010
Anwalt der Verdammten
#116: Mar 27th 2012 at 8:16:18 AM

Well, I was exaggerating somewhat for comic effect.

But I definitively wouldn't go have sex with someone who just comes up and asks.

Exaggeration isn't trolling last time I checked.

edited 27th Mar '12 8:16:48 AM by inane242

The 5 geek social fallacies. Know them well.
Carciofus Is that cake frosting? from Alpha Tucanae I Since: May, 2010
Is that cake frosting?
#117: Mar 27th 2012 at 8:21:57 AM

I'm also not sure what you mean by "in the mood for sex." I don't remember ever not being in the mood. I don't even think about it in those terms.
Not in the mood as in, thinking about something else and not interested at the moment. The whole "men think about sex once every three seconds" is nonsense, you know.

But there is more than that. Plenty of males only wish to have sex within a relationship, for example; and while they may find somebody physically attractive, they might not desire a relationship with them for some reason. That has been known to happen. They might not even be looking, for that matter.

I dunno where the idea that males are some sort of relentless, unthinking crotch-missiles comes from; but I assure you, it is not only insulting but also entirely inaccurate.

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
Martello Hammer of the Pervs from Black River, NY Since: Jan, 2001
Hammer of the Pervs
#118: Mar 27th 2012 at 8:46:48 AM

I don't mean that I'm always just going to drop trou and get down to it, regardless of time, place and current activity. I'm saying that in any situation where a guy can reasonably expect to be propositioned by an attractive woman, relationship status immaterial, why would any man say no? And even in some situations where I'd be busy doing something else, sex would still be the preferred alternative. Let's say I'm playing an especially successful match of Modern Warfare 3 and my K-D ratio is sky-high - if my girlfriend or whoever walks in and decides now is the time, I'll quit that match without a second thought.

"Did anybody invent this stuff on purpose?" - Phillip Marlowe on tequila, Finger Man by Raymond Chandler.
0dd1 Just awesome like that from Nowhere Land Since: Sep, 2009
Just awesome like that
#119: Mar 27th 2012 at 9:03:29 AM

[up]See, the difference there, it's your girlfriend.

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.
Martello Hammer of the Pervs from Black River, NY Since: Jan, 2001
Hammer of the Pervs
#120: Mar 27th 2012 at 9:22:31 AM

No, I said, "girlfriend or whoever." I have some female friends who aren't just friends, you know what I mean?

"Did anybody invent this stuff on purpose?" - Phillip Marlowe on tequila, Finger Man by Raymond Chandler.
BestOf FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC! from Finland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
#121: Mar 27th 2012 at 10:26:02 AM

Well I'm pretty sure you're in the minority of guys in that regard. Most men I know, when we've talked about this (and it's a subject that comes up pretty easily when one is watching silly movies or something where the guys are always horny,) would say that it takes a certain kind of mood to want to think about sex. If you're not looking for sex, you probably wouldn't want it just because the opportunity arrived, even if there wasn't anything else that you were doing ATM.

The new Cracked article about why "men are trained to hate women" seemed very odd to me. It tries to perpetuate this myth about men being all about sex as a fact and goes on at length about how men wanna have sex all the time. I'm not denying that there are people like that, but it seems very unlikely to me that a majority of men would be like that.

It's about as silly as if they'd written about how everything that a Russian does is about vodka.

EDIT: Especially this part of the article:

The point is that a man can be giving the eulogy at his own grandmother's funeral, and if there is a girl in the front row showing cleavage, he will be imagining himself pressing those boobs in his face, with his own dead grandmother not five feet away.

I don't think anyone can relate to that.

Another edit: Almost immediately after that bit, is says:

Every male reading this is going to think I'm belaboring the obvious. ... But I have never explained this to a woman who didn't look at me like I was insisting that all men are secretly werewolves.

I don't think that what the article said was obvious, and I rather do think that it sounds like he's saying that all men are secretly werewolves.

That the writer of this article and others feel that this is how men are (or how men are supposed to be) and that most of us apparently don't share that sentiment or experience is in my opinion evidence that this is a cultural thing.

edited 27th Mar '12 10:31:16 AM by BestOf

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Carciofus Is that cake frosting? from Alpha Tucanae I Since: May, 2010
Is that cake frosting?
#122: Mar 27th 2012 at 10:39:08 AM

I think that the writer is just trying to be humorous, as is often the case for Cracked articles.

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
RhymeBeat True colors from Eastern Standard Since: Aug, 2009 Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
True colors
#123: Mar 27th 2012 at 10:44:45 AM

Yeah sounds mainly like comedic hyperbole to me.

The Crystal Caverns A bird's gotta sing.
BestOf FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC! from Finland Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: Falling within your bell curve
FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC!
#124: Mar 27th 2012 at 10:52:07 AM

I certainly hope so. David Wong is one of the funnier writers on the site, but (and partially because) he's also one that often includes a lot of serious stuff in his articles, like the one about "things rich people need to stop saying."

With that in mind, I'm afraid that it's possible that he really does think that men are like that.

Quod gratis asseritur, gratis negatur.
Vericrat Like this, but brown. from .0000001 seconds ago Since: Oct, 2011
Like this, but brown.
#125: Mar 27th 2012 at 10:56:39 AM

I'm not gonna lie, I definitely do notice women sexually at inappropriate times. It won't completely consume me (I think that was hyperbolic) but if I were giving a eulogy and saw a very attractive lady, I'd definitely have a moment in my brain. And I would be ashamed by it. On the other hand, I wouldn't blame the girl like the article suggests.

Much to my BFF's wife's chagrin, No Pants 2013 became No Pants 2010's at his house.

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