Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)

Hah! Just what I'd expect a fellow Stormcloak to say!

The only cool Gray-Mane is the one who handles the Skyforge.

Who doesn't appreciate an easily accessed Master Smithing Trainer?

Edited by M84 on Nov 27th 2019 at 1:45:59 AM

Imperials 4 lyfe. Gotta support your local psuedo-Romans.

what did tiber Septim ever do for us anyway

It's a choice between the Pseudo-Romans (who are hamstrung by Elf Nazis) and the racist Vikings (who are also being manipulated by Elf Nazis).

Honestly, I'd go with the side who aren't a bunch of racial supremacists, thank you very much. :/

Bah, what'd those nonracists ever did for ya? You were in their execution cart for vague criminal reasons.

Edited by fredhot16 on Nov 26th 2019 at 9:49:12 AM

To be fair considering the shit I got up to afterwards, they weren't wrong about me being a criminal.

Between the rampant kleptomania, disturbing graves and tombs. The murders. Lots of murders.

Heck, I even ended up assassinating their Emperor. And killed the Imperial soldiers who got in my way. And not even for revenge or anything — I just did it because it was fun.

Dragons do instinctively conquer and destroy, after all.

Edited by M84 on Nov 27th 2019 at 2:14:02 AM

As I like to point out, due to a design oversight (most likely due to the rushed 11/11/11 release date) the Imperials in turn have an implied case of misogyny. ^note The generation table for random generic Imperial soldiers is almost completely weighted towards male soldiers - if I recall there are only two locations in the game where it can generate female Imperial soldiers, and one of those locations it's for the purpose of generating dead Imperial soldiers.

Obviously, it's not intended to be canon, but hey, it's fun to run with things like this. Got to take what RP fuel you can get when playing a Bethesda RPG, after all.

That said, the Imperial side has a female second-in-command while the Stormcloak chain of command is more or less a sausage fest.

And it's repeatedly hammered home that the Empire would have preferred to not bother enforcing the Talos ban at all, if Stormcloak's stunt hadn't made the Thalmor start breathing down their collective neck.

Edited by DrunkenNordmann on Nov 27th 2019 at 9:32:15 PM

The "best" part is that Ulfric was basically playing right into the hands of the Elf Nazis by starting his civil war. That said, they don't want him to win of course.

It's also heavily implied that he's a sleeper agent, albeit unknowingly.

Were’re talking about Skyrim right?

That’s the only Elder Scrolls game I played.

I actually have a problem with choosing the Stormcloak side now, since its objectively the wrong choice the more you learn about the situation. And I'm a Welsh nationalist, you'd expect me to be for the nation wanting independence. But the Stormcloaks are power-hungry, intolerant and short-sighted. As well as somehow hypocritically dumb - the Empire is the realm that the God-man they're banned from worshipping founded himself.

They're also Not So Different from the Forsworn, daedra worship aside.

What also didn't help is that they flat out invoke You Are a Credit to Your Race if you're a non-Nord Dragonborn and point that out to them.

Edited by DrunkenNordmann on Nov 27th 2019 at 12:23:03 PM

Meanwhile, the Empire's plan of biding its time until it can throw off the yoke of the Thalmor with a unified front across all Tamriel is patently doomed to fail due to weak leadership and the fact that practically everyone in Tamriel hates its guts.

I continue to wish that there'd been an ending for Skyrim where you depose either Ulfric or the Emperor and take over the place yourself as the ruler by birthright.

Edited by Fighteer on Nov 27th 2019 at 6:39:36 AM

Dunno if I'd call the Empire's plan to fight back against the Thalmor in the long run "doomed" but it would certainly be impossible if Skyrim had successfully seceded.

I absolutely want 6 to be anti-Thalmor guerilla war in Hammerfell.

I mean I picked a Redguard character and still went Stormcloak since I guess why not. The civil war's a load of piss anyway.

There are a lotttttt of problems with Skyrim's plot(s), mostly attributed to rushed production imo but also because of chasing a dumb "sandbox" ideal rather than trying to craft a good story.

Like, after doing the main quest, the civil war factions should be BEGGING you to join them, their questlines would change radically considering your status and fame.

The game doesnt acknowledge any of that, no matter what you do, youre always an observer to lore rather than a participant in it despite being The Chosen One.

Also, fuck the Blades. they're a bunch of two-faced fucks who are like "Oh we live to serve the Dragonborn" but they keep bossing you about and when they tell you "KILL PAATHURNAX OR FUCK YOU" only in mods do you actually get to put them in their place and remind them that they serve you, not the other fuckin way around.

They have an unreasonable hard-on for slaying any and all dragons. They're basically racist when you think about it.

That and Paarthurnax is almost completely open and gentlemanly to you. He even gives you a few free words to play with and helps you learn the "DRAGONS CAN DIE YANNO" shout.

Their justification is that Paarthurnax committed countless atrocities back when he was still Alduin's right-hand dragon. It doesn't matter that he's behaving now and providing invaluable assistance in stopping Alduin now. As far as they're concerned, he has to answer for what he did.

Notably, Paarthurnax doesn't actually deny that the Blades have a point when confronted.

Personally I never killed him off, but that's only because he and the Greybeards are more useful than the Blades.

In their defense, literally every Dragon has countless atrocities to their name. Heck, that even includes Dragonborn such as Tiber Septim (see: Daggerfall), Miraak, and yourself depending on how you played the game. Especially if you joined the Dark Brotherhood.

It doesn't help that the very first thing every Dragon in this game does after being revived by Alduin is to start burninating villages.

And I'm not exactly going to condemn the Blades for going after Dragons, considering how often I slew Dragons to eat their souls and use their body parts to make myself some sweet-ass armor and weapons.

Edited by M84 on Nov 27th 2019 at 9:15:02 PM