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EvaUnit01 Fandom Heretic Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Fandom Heretic
#226: May 21st 2012 at 7:45:27 PM

Say, do you have any suggestions for how I might handle the explanatory second chapter of Shit Gets Wierd? I may come up with ideas of my own, just opening my suggestion box.

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#227: May 21st 2012 at 8:01:44 PM

A flashabck sequence? or maybe the First chapter was In Medias Res, and the second chapter begins way back in the past to explain how they turned out like that?

In regards to my own fic, I'm finding I'm using Sakura's perspective a lot when narrating what's happeening with Team Shirou. Seaking of which...

The Emiya breakfast table was a council of war. Again. Sakura was cooking, since all the sempai’s had gotten into an argument over which of them would cook, and by the time they noticed she’d already started it was kinda too late to stop her. There was a distinct division around the table. The Shirou with the Red Saber sat on one side. Red Saber faced the table on her side, reclining on her elbow against a bunch of pillows she’d appropriated for that purpose and pretty much taking over all that side of the table. Not-onee-sama, not-sempai and Blue Saber sat opposite him, the Sabers watching each other warily. Her own sempai sat with Caster next to him, the Servant as far away from Red Saber as she could while still being on the table. Her lyre leaned against her side, and sometimes her had would reach down and dance lightly over the strings, drawing out a pleasant, sunny tune that seemed to crash like a falling piano whenever Red Saber looked at her. Onee-sama sat opposite them with Rider. Sakura firmly quashed the beginning stirrings of jealousy as she looked at Caster. No, jealousy bad…

“All right!” onee-sama said, slamming a hand on the table. “Let’s get this Holy Grail War strategy meeting in order! We need to take stock of what we have and what we’re facing.” She held up her hands. “Numerically speaking, I doubt anyone else in this War is starting with the power advantage we have. Saber and Rider, as Servants summoned outside this system, are invaluable trump cards, allowing us twice the number of Servants that we otherwise would.”

The not-onee-sama Rin glowered a little at not getting to speak first, but coughed. “Still, in the current context, that’s not much of an advantage. Factoring in the altered system of this Grail War, even with 4 Servants on our side, we are still fighting 1 to 6 odds. I think our first order of business would to scout around for the potential locations of the other Masters and to see what has changed in Fuyuki.”

“Is that really necessary?” not-sempai with the Red Saber said. “I mean, I understand we need to find other Masters before they hurt people, but why would Fuyuki change?”

“The last time I checked, there wasn’t supposed to be three of you,” onee-sama pointed out. “Or two of me.”

“Last time I checked, Saber was the only Servant left alive,” the other Rin agreed. “Obviously, this all has something to do with the Grail War. The Second Magic might be involved somehow. Regardless, we need to reassess what we think we know about the battlefield. For all we know, Gilgamesh might be out there somewhere! Or Kotomine!”

“A chilling possibility,” Saber agreed.

“Then our way is clear,” Red Saber said lazily. “We need to send scouts to assess the lay of the land and find our enemies so that we may crush them. We approve of this stratagem.” She snapped her fingers imperiously. “Scullery girl, where is that food? We hunger!”

“Saber!” her Master Shirou admonished.

Onee-sama glared at Red Saber. “Don’t you ever call my sister that again!”

Shirou, Shirou and Saber blinked, and looked at the other Rin, who was looking a bit red. “Your sister?”

“Rin, I believe you need to explain…” Blue Saber said…

Hey, for those who have Fate/EXTRA, in my Grail War fic, who should Rani VIII recognize as having been the main character's Servant in the Moon Cell: Red Saber, Tamamo, or EMIYA?

edited 21st May '12 8:12:17 PM by SCMof2814

alethiophile Shadowed Philosopher from Ëa Since: Nov, 2009
Shadowed Philosopher
#228: May 21st 2012 at 9:28:04 PM

Regarding Shit Gets Wierd: It's spelled WEIRD. Not 'wierd'. ò_ó *

Shinigan (Naruto fanfic)
HandsomeRob Leader of the Holey Brotherhood from The land of broken records Since: Jan, 2015
Leader of the Holey Brotherhood
#229: May 21st 2012 at 9:30:57 PM

[up]

That could actually be made that part of the joke.

One Strip! One Strip!
Iaculus Pronounced YAK-you-luss from England Since: May, 2010
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
#230: May 22nd 2012 at 3:43:44 AM

@Eva:Well, for a start, 'genki' doesn't really belong in your narration. English has the word 'energetic'. Likewise, the use of stuff like 'aniki' isn't really necessary. Dropping Gratuitous Japanese into your story makes you look like either a guy with a shaky grasp of English lapsing into Poirot Speak, or a howling weeaboo. That's perfectly fine if you have characters who meet that description, but otherwise... well, you're using the Translation Convention. Might as well go all the way.

Same goes to you, SC. What's with all the 'onee-sama' stuff? Couldn't you just go with things like 'the older-looking Rin'? Also, you've got a greengrocer's apostrophe in 'sempai's'. Might want to fix that.

What's precedent ever done for us?
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#231: May 22nd 2012 at 3:50:44 AM

There's translation convention, and then there's flavor. The Rins are the same age, except one is Sakura's sister and one isn't. And frankly, it's quicker to write 'onee-sama' and than "the Rin who was her sister" or the quite awkward "Sister-Rin". "Onee-sama" is neater. Thanks for pointing out the apostrophe

Iaculus Pronounced YAK-you-luss from England Since: May, 2010
Pronounced YAK-you-luss
#232: May 22nd 2012 at 3:56:58 AM

[up]Honestly, I'd disagree. 'Sister-Rin' and 'Not-Sister-Rin' conveys the bewildering awkwardness of the situation far better. Sometimes, clunkiness is an asset. If you want to go smoother, you could try something like 'big sis' and 'Tousaka' to emphasise that Extra Rin is not family.

What's precedent ever done for us?
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#233: May 22nd 2012 at 3:59:35 AM

Let's agree to disagree on this, shall we?

EvaUnit01 Fandom Heretic Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Complex: I'm real, they are imaginary
Fandom Heretic
#234: May 22nd 2012 at 5:23:43 AM

Just file it under Shit That Got Wierd (and yes, that was part of the joke).

T-bone61 [Today's Jo Jo] (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Gay for Big Boss
[Today's Jo Jo]
#235: May 22nd 2012 at 8:29:15 AM

Ah yeah, I remember Tall Tales. Good movie.

I'd kind of like to see the protagonist of the "Jack tales" (of which the beanstalk story is only one) as a Servant. Guile Hero, anyone?

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#236: May 22nd 2012 at 8:31:14 AM

Jack Spratt? I think he's in DC's Vertigo line. Jack Of Fables

gwonbush Lurking Puma Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Lurking Puma
#237: May 22nd 2012 at 8:33:39 AM

Of course, Sakura calls Rin Nee-san, not Onee-sama...

T-bone61 [Today's Jo Jo] (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Gay for Big Boss
[Today's Jo Jo]
#238: May 22nd 2012 at 8:37:35 AM

"Jack" is a catch-all hero of Appalachian folktales, with roots in numerous European legends. He tends to be weak yet clever, a master at exploiting Exact Words, and capable of tricking monstrously powerful opponents (i.e. "Jack the Giant-Killer").

In short, he's a Pretty Cool Guy, if something of an everyman archetype.

edited 22nd May '12 8:39:26 AM by T-bone61

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#239: May 22nd 2012 at 8:37:44 AM

Okay, will correct. She seemed like a 'sama'-using kind of girl though…

HandsomeRob Leader of the Holey Brotherhood from The land of broken records Since: Jan, 2015
Leader of the Holey Brotherhood
#240: May 22nd 2012 at 8:55:27 AM

[up]

Live and learn as they say.

Though I usually only say that when a character in a story has died, cause I think it's funny.tongue

So, just to ask, if the one Rin is from Heaven's Feel, is she sporting her post Heaven's feel look, or is she still that Twin Tailed Tsundere we all know and love like her UBW counterpart?

I really looking forward to the interactions between the multiple characters. What will Heaven's Feel Rin think of UBW Rin being with Shirou (considering everything that happened to Sakura)? What will Fate Shirou and UBW Shirou say when they find out what happened to Sakura? What will each of the three Shirou's think of the choices the others have made (especially Fate Shirou, who is probably the least mature of the three)? Hell, what is will Fate and UBW Shirou think of HF Shirou's actions? Will they understand the choice he made, knowing everything Sakura went through, will the rip into him for all the innocent people who died? What?

It's will be interesting to see how this plays out.

I'm looking forward to more catfights between the two Rin's more interesting character interaction. And we haven't even gotten to meeting the other masters yet (can't wait to see the reaction of Shinji's Rider when he meets Sakura's Rider. That'll be awkward. Plus I'm curious to see how you will portray him what with being the successful Shinji Matou and all. Being compared to Shinji doesn't say good things about him.)

Can't wait for chapter two.

edited 22nd May '12 8:55:59 AM by HandsomeRob

One Strip! One Strip!
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#241: May 22nd 2012 at 9:01:27 AM

This the look you mean?

The post-look, I guess, even though Heaven's feel was about only a year ago, so that Sakura can tell them apart. Though I like her look with the tales more. It's distinctive.

There's a fourth Shirou running around, you know. Poor little hostage…

edited 22nd May '12 9:04:53 AM by SCMof2814

gwonbush Lurking Puma Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Lurking Puma
#242: May 22nd 2012 at 9:07:49 AM

Honestly, I prefer Rin's long haired look. That was the only sprite in the VN that made me think "whoa," while the rest fell under "generic anime prettiness."

T-bone61 [Today's Jo Jo] (Handed A Sword) Relationship Status: Gay for Big Boss
[Today's Jo Jo]
#243: May 22nd 2012 at 9:07:51 AM

[up][up]...Lookin' pretty Aoi there, Rin.

Wait, four Shirous? This is gonna be a hell of a thing.

edited 22nd May '12 9:09:23 AM by T-bone61

SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#244: May 22nd 2012 at 9:11:01 AM

Nah, the fourth is pretty useless, even more so than Fate!Shirou.

HandsomeRob Leader of the Holey Brotherhood from The land of broken records Since: Jan, 2015
Leader of the Holey Brotherhood
#245: May 22nd 2012 at 9:32:45 AM

[up]

Ouch. That's pretty useless, considering Fate Shirou was exposed to all the evils of the world, and used Avalon to pull himself out of it, and punch a dagger in Kotomine's chest.

Which on the low end of feats he performs during the three arcs.

Which Shirou is this useless one?

And you also mentioned earlier that there are more Rin's too.

And I just realized that a certain Blonde Rival of Rin's is also involved. Good grief, that's going to be awkward.

As for her regular look vs Post HF look, I ain't picky. One may be generic (twin tails) but I think it fits her. She looks good with her hair down as well though.

...Lookin' pretty Aoi there, Rin.

So she does. Then again, why would she want to look like her mom (as long as she's smarter than her that is).

edited 22nd May '12 9:35:09 AM by HandsomeRob

One Strip! One Strip!
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#246: May 22nd 2012 at 9:40:53 AM

This Shirou has no magic, and only has super cooking powers.

HandsomeRob Leader of the Holey Brotherhood from The land of broken records Since: Jan, 2015
Leader of the Holey Brotherhood
#247: May 22nd 2012 at 9:41:40 AM

[up]

Again ouch. Then again, with all the people in that house, cooking will be useful.

One Strip! One Strip!
SCMof2814 Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
#248: May 22nd 2012 at 9:44:40 AM

He's not IN that house…

As to the Rins, thare are also two more hiding in the prose. You can find at least one with some thought…

gwonbush Lurking Puma Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Lurking Puma
#249: May 22nd 2012 at 10:01:43 AM

He's in Ilya's house obviously.

NapoleonDeCheese Since: Oct, 2010
#250: May 22nd 2012 at 10:53:08 AM

I had an idea for all an cartoon Grail War, set in a sort of Cartoon Network-Nickelodeon shared universe (maybe with some Disney too) in the vein of Powerpuff Girls Doujinshi and Grim Tales From Down Below. The idea of playing these kiddy characters in the background of a bloody Grail War and doing it mostly straight appeals to me.

I'm still thinking of Servants, though. The only one I've got pinned down is Finn as Saber.


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