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My father is dead.

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TheyCallMeTomu Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Jimmmyman10 cannot into space from polan Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
cannot into space
#402: Jan 23rd 2012 at 5:45:04 PM

Hey Nick, hows the medical side of all of this going?

If you don't want to answer, that's fine. Just wondering if this had impacted it at all.

Go play Kentucky Route Zero. Now.
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#403: Jan 23rd 2012 at 6:09:10 PM

Well I still have a sinus infection and really need surgery but I'll worry about that when I get to Montana. Right now though, I've been very itchy and have a horrible looking rash on my foot. I've a knot in my foot that's most likely a stress knot...my body aches...I can't sleep...

Just normal stuff for the situation.

What makes me sad is that Poison and I hit our seven month mark today and he was going to celebrate it with me even though we're not technically together because I wanted to celebrate something...and he hasn't been on. He's been sick though so I'm not mad, but rather, worried about how he's feeling.

And tomorrow makes a week my dad's been gone. It also makes his 41st birthday. So that's...

TParadox Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: The captain of her heart
#404: Jan 23rd 2012 at 10:08:05 PM

Yeah, every time I see this thread updated, I'm hoping it's not crushingly bad news, but come to think of it, I think except for the OP, the worst update was "not going to MO because shit went down. Will discuss when I get my computer back."

Fresh-eyed movie blog
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#405: Jan 23rd 2012 at 10:13:56 PM

Yeah.

My family is so greedy and just..fuck man, they're really mental. Like I said before, even people in my church were like "How could another human being do that?" and I don't even get that response from child abuse and molestation! Though granted, they probably realize there's NOTHING to say to that...

tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#406: Jan 24th 2012 at 9:23:07 AM

My SSI check does NOT stop if I get emancipated, only when I turn 18. I will have a means to support myself when I move in with my friend...though I guess we've always had a brotherly relationship so he's pretty much my surrogate big brother. Sheriff Department took over my dad's estate and in 31 days, because I'm next of kin, I will be the only one allowed to access his money. Social Security has switched my check so that it will go to Laurie for me. She's also said because I won't get the check until the 3rd, she'll make sure my rent is paid this month.

So I am almost done with everything.

Happy birthday Dad. I think you'd be damned proud of your son right now.

TheyCallMeTomu Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#407: Jan 24th 2012 at 9:27:57 AM

You're doing a lot better than I did when my dad passed, and you're ten years younger.

tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#408: Jan 24th 2012 at 9:30:54 AM

I've also had more of a horrible life. I mean when your mother molests and beats you and you have a terminal illness and...I mean...Melancholia. How people who are depressed handle stressful situations better.

ninjaclown Since: May, 2009
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#410: Jan 24th 2012 at 9:37:36 AM

Cystic Fibrosis is terminal. Honestly it's on my Troper page for the sole reason when I mention it someone who has never talked to me says "Terminal illness???" or something to that effect.

ninjaclown Since: May, 2009
#411: Jan 24th 2012 at 9:42:56 AM

Yup, I never talk to you or visit anyone's Troper page. I'm just not that sort of person, and before I didn't really like you. So, how long do you have, if you don't mind me asking?

Madrugada Since: Jan, 2001
#412: Jan 24th 2012 at 9:51:30 AM

Nick, he would be very proud of you.

tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#413: Jan 24th 2012 at 1:31:04 PM

Thanks Maddy.

[up][up] ...I don't know, you have to play CF by ear. Also, you didn't like me before? What changed? My dad dying? You can go back to not liking me. I don't need pity and I don't need respect and I certainly don't need someone to like me now.

People would get along so much better if they took the time to try to get and know someone before writing them off, because you have no idea what pain that person is going through, their home life, how they handle themselves, or anything.

Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#415: Jan 24th 2012 at 1:40:30 PM

Today is his birthday/a week he's been dead so I thought I'd be sad..but I'm not. I keep looking at these photos, or reading statements from old psychologists and my CPS case file, and they ALL talk about how they notice such a strong bond between me and my father.

It's weird. I knew he was dead before anyone else. That connection I had with him was just gone. I felt it. Call it ESP, disturbance in the force, or a coincidence, but I knew when he died.

ninjaclown Since: May, 2009
#416: Jan 24th 2012 at 2:43:33 PM

No, I just really didn't like how you got defensive about everything, to the point I found talking to you a hassle at best. I REALLY hate being talked down to, like I could never possibly understand anyone's pain or something. (I know how death is, I've lost one set of grandparents and a few uncles myself, people I used to visit on a weekly basis, people to this day my mother still sobs over.) I just don't like people who are going to treat me coldly at best, that's basic human reaction. But that's the past, and I hate talking about the past because you can't change any of it.

I may not have LIKED you, but you've always had my RESPECT. I just wanted to make that distinction.

pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#417: Jan 24th 2012 at 2:47:19 PM

Clicked on this expecting a joke thread. Clearly, it isn't.

I'm not entirely certain we've ever spoken to each other on the forum before, but you have my condolences and sympathies nonetheless. I'm sure you don't need the reassurances of one more faceless guy on the internet, but for what it's worth, I think you're doing much better than could reasonably be expected of anyone in such a horrible situation.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#418: Jan 24th 2012 at 5:33:58 PM

Bah I'll reply to you two in a later post. Because I'm too lazy to read right now. :T

Using my paycheck and $60 out of Maddy's $300, I was able to get myself some groceries and toiletries. I expected Lori to pay for them and she was like, "You have money" and grinned. And I realized she was saying, "Nicholas, you're going to be on your own, you have your own money, it's time to do things yourself."

So I grabbed my money and got things I needed rather than wanted. Like there was a hat and some beef jerky that totaled like $20 but I passed on them. Didn't need 'em. Get my check next month, plus an automatic one time only extra $250, plus my increase, and THEN I will buy stuff I want.

Mindy isn't giving me problems. I'll be by myself 27-31st with no one here so during that time I'll just...fuck man, I can do whatever. I'll write, read, watch movies and anime...

Tomorrow is my last day of stress. I got calls to make. That's it. Do Start(I meant start, I didn't want anyone to think that this would be done ON Thursday. I fucking wish.) the emancipation(which might be done Thursday but I'm not sure) and then I am done.

I've never not had stress.

edited 24th Jan '12 5:48:37 PM by tendollarlameo

tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#419: Jan 25th 2012 at 6:49:13 PM

Just found a message from Dad the night the incident took down. He shouted, "Answer the phone faggot."

I feel like crying. He was out of it by that point but...

Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001
Meophist from Toronto, Canada Since: May, 2010
#421: Jan 25th 2012 at 6:51:35 PM

...I hope you'll feel better in time.

I suppose that's a little meaningless to say, but I wanted to say something.

Helpful Scripts and Stylesheets here.
inane242 Anwalt der Verdammten from A B-Movie Bildungsroman Since: Nov, 2010
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#423: Jan 25th 2012 at 6:58:09 PM

He already knew I was out of the house at that point. I have no idea why he called. He completely snapped, as in, he didn't even know who people were.

-sigh-

He asked and asked and asked for help. Said it shouldn't be my responsibility to take care of him, it should be his sister and his mother and father. Said I was 13/14/15/16. Deserved my own life. Said I had enough shit to deal with.

But no one helped him. And I don't think help would have done anything due to his TBI but still...they could have made an effort. And now all they want is his stuff and his money. -rolls eyes-

My grandfather at least has an excuse because he tried to do everything in his power for my father but he's in his 70's and is dirt poor. So he would help him with what he could. And he would even ask for help for my dad.

But again. No one would.

inane242 Anwalt der Verdammten from A B-Movie Bildungsroman Since: Nov, 2010
Anwalt der Verdammten
#424: Jan 25th 2012 at 6:59:57 PM

Humans Are Inconsiderate.

The 5 geek social fallacies. Know them well.
tendollarlameo Remarkably Unremarkable Since: Aug, 2010
Remarkably Unremarkable
#425: Jan 25th 2012 at 7:04:49 PM

They really are.

This is why I'm not mad at my father for what he did. He made sure I was prepared financially and made sure I had my morals and knew how to stand on my own two feet before he did anything. The poor guy was in pain.

Imagine a puppy being angry and upset and sad and scared and whimpering and crying all the time, for nine years. And then imagine it not being put down.

That's why I'm glad my father is dead. He's not suffering anymore and he did his job as a parent.


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