Dear Console Dork,
Haha, you actually LIKE that crap? Go get a PC n00b.
~Santa
Dear Santa,
I want to feel your hot breath down my neck.
I want to feel your candy cane inside me.
I want to bite into that delicious tub of jelly you have.
Call me for a good time: 430-567-8839
xoxoxoxoxo,
Jeffrey
War is God.Jeffery,
Well, I can't do anything about you feeling my hot breath, but I can give you some sweets if you really want them this christmas!
Saint Nick
Dear Father Christmas,
Please may I have a new set of guitar strings this christmas?
Alexandra Capable
I'm so sorry that my avatar doesn't appear fully in the shot, but the cat was threatening the photographer.Dear Dog Avatar Troper...
I hav suffed from retarded-ness, and i axe-sent-dently gav u a brain frum mi. DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-(dies)
.....
Dear Santa
I want Dawn from Total Drama to be my sex slave for Christmas. I LOVE YOU SANTA. BUT I AM EVIL.
FROM JOHNNY HANIMAL
MY EYES ARE SO CUTE THEY WILL KILL YOUDear Johnny,
I've noticed. A lump of coal it is for christmas, then.
Saint Nicholas.
Dear Santa Claus,
Please may I have a fully functional, taxed, and insured 2011 Saab 9-5 for Christmas?
FATHER.
I'm so sorry that my avatar doesn't appear fully in the shot, but the cat was threatening the photographer.![]()
wut
Dear Guy Who Thinks He's My Dad,
Haha, nice try pal. My dad wouldn't ever own one of those to begin with. He still has a Ford Model T back from the old days. Go bother someone else with your libel.
~Santa
Dear Kris Kringle,
Hey, I doubt this is legal, but I'd REALLY REALLY like one of them modern recoilless rocket launchers. Even over here, I doubt it's legal, but since you're Santa, you could probably breach federal law!
With Love and anticipation,
Cledus
War is God.Dear Father,
what
Love,
Santa Claus
Dear Santa,
Can you please get the internet to stop hating me?
Signed,
edited 1st Sep '13 3:29:50 PM by PhysicalStamina
Do not spare the feelings of those who would not spare yours.![]()
Dear whiny assmunch,
First of all, you're underage. Second of all, I don't like you.
So no.
~Santa
Dear Plankton,
Sure. I'll give you that and a free cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE. You live under the goddamn ocean and you're a microscopic organism. Why do you care about a secret formula you moron?
Get a life.
~Santa
Dear Santa,
If you're real, why the fuck do you live at one of the coldest places on Earth? Not to mention that there's no available resources, no sustainable food sources, no easily-accessible water sources, and extremely long, freezing nights. You telling me that some fat dude and his pointy-eared slaves can manage that on their own? Stop lying.
Albert
edited 1st Sep '13 3:36:17 PM by Prometheus136
War is God.Dear Dick NeedleGirth,
Sorry pal, your porno name doesn't fool me. Andy Dick probably has a bigger dick than you. Why don't you bring over one of your more well endowed friends?
~Santa
Dear Santa,
If you're real, why the fuck do you live at one of the coldest places on Earth? Not to mention that there's no available resources, no sustainable food sources, no easily-accessible water sources, and extremely long, freezing nights. You telling me that some fat dude and his pointy-eared slaves can manage that on their own? Stop lying.
Albert
edited 1st Sep '13 3:48:25 PM by Prometheus136
War is God.Dear Yui,
Well, the missus IS getting old...
Happily yours,
Santa OXOXOXOXOXO
Dear Santa,
Sincerely,
Leeroy Jetson
Leeroy,
Santa hasn't finished developing those just yet, wait another couple of decades.
Santa Claus.
Father Christmas,
You know you recently sent a flirtatious letter to a 200 foot tall robot, right?
Ikari Gendo.
I'm so sorry that my avatar doesn't appear fully in the shot, but the cat was threatening the photographer.

Dear Link,
I am afraid that for human rights reasons I cannot give people as presents. Sorry.
Saint Nicholas.
Santa Claus,
This christmas, all that I really, really want is a Wii U (complete with controllers, cables, and other necessary accesories), Pikmin 3, and Sonic Lost World for the Wii U. Thank you.
Nicholas Pagenaud.
edited 31st Aug '13 6:24:17 AM by porschelemans
I'm so sorry that my avatar doesn't appear fully in the shot, but the cat was threatening the photographer.