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Children's Letters To Santa

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Albino_Axolotl from NC, United States Since: Sep, 2017 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
#451: Nov 12th 2017 at 6:51:39 PM

Dear Nerd Dash

How don't you learn english like Meowth did.

-Santa.


Dear Santa

I would like the whole Mushroom kingdom in my rule.

-King Koopa

When you're not the father, It's a great big surprise. Thats-a-Maury.
TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Not Sherlock Holmes
#452: Nov 12th 2017 at 7:18:17 PM

Dear, Pokemon

How can you write then, moron?

Learn to use logic,

Santa

Dear Santa

I want an awesome Rhythm Heaven anime for Christmas.

Sincerely

An otaku

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
dutchguy1986 Since: Jul, 2014
#453: Dec 14th 2017 at 9:49:51 AM

Sorry Otaku.

The only animes Santa knows are Naruto, Bleach and One Piece. Still to make up for it I got you the entirety of Naruto, complete with all the movies.

Santa

Dear Santa I just wanted to ask you how you feel about your European rival Sinterklaas.

Dutchguy

Mhazard Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
#454: Dec 14th 2017 at 11:09:07 AM

Dear Dutchguy

Why are you asking? I AM Sinterklaas.

Regards,

Santa.


Dear Santa

May I have Kitaeri as my Christmas gift?

Sincerely,

Mhazard

edited 14th Dec '17 11:10:08 AM by Mhazard

CyberController Blitzy.... from Pride Ring Since: Nov, 2016 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
Blitzy....
#455: Dec 20th 2017 at 3:36:33 PM

Dear Mhazard:

You can't have people as your gifts, that's illegal.

Sincerly, Santa.


Dear Santa:

Can someone give me a normal case for a change? Could really use one. Also, buy some tickets to Trucy's show.

Sincerly, Phoenix Wright

Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
DrNoPuma Streaky from the land of Humorous Hyenas (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: Married to the music
#456: Dec 20th 2017 at 6:45:35 PM

Dear Phoenix,

I know your cases can be exhausting, but would you really be happy with "normal" cases? You might find that you miss the zaniness of your usual cases.

...but as for the tickets, sure thing.

-Santa Claus


Dear Santa,

So, uh, I don't really know how this works, but it's good to try, right?

So, for Christmas... I guess all I want is for the Dollhouse to be safe and fun like it was in the past. I just want all this darkness and violence to end. Can you do anything about that?

-Skid

Very good kitty
CyberController Blitzy.... from Pride Ring Since: Nov, 2016 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
Blitzy....
#457: Dec 22nd 2017 at 10:30:17 PM

Dear Skid.

Patience. There will be peace one day. Just be brave and hold on.

From, Santa


Dear Santa.

Could you please get me a new outfit? Mine burnt up in space. (The letter is covered in tears)

-Ryuko Matoi

Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
Some_Person Since: Jun, 2015 Relationship Status: Chocolate!
#458: Dec 23rd 2017 at 5:32:10 AM

Dear Ryuko,

Don't worry, I can relate. I have to travel at high speeds through space to get around the world in one night and must burn through a good chunk of my outfit every year.

- Santa Clause

P.S. I'll also bring you a handkerchief.

Dear Santa,

All I want fuh Chwistmas is a big bowl of wabbit stew.

- Elmer Fudd

edited 23rd Dec '17 6:05:50 AM by Some_Person

TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Not Sherlock Holmes
#459: Jan 19th 2018 at 9:35:30 PM

Dear Elmer Fudd,

Sorry, I can’t understand what the heck you’re saying.

Love, Santa

Dear Santa,

Can I have a nuke for Christmas?

Love, Little Billy

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Mhazard Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
#460: Jan 20th 2018 at 9:57:06 AM

Dear Little Billy,

What you will receive is my fire and fury!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Santa


Dear Santa,

May I have a BFG-9000 as my Christmas Gift?

Doomguy

edited 20th Jan '18 9:57:58 AM by Mhazard

Albino_Axolotl from NC, United States Since: Sep, 2017 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
#461: Jan 21st 2018 at 2:39:09 PM

Will do! :)

-Santa Claus —-

Dear Santa

I would wish to be rebooted with a updated and cooler design.

-Cuphead

When you're not the father, It's a great big surprise. Thats-a-Maury.
TheWhiteWolf (ON INDEFINITE HIATUS) from the Restaurant at the End of the Universe Since: Feb, 2015 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
(ON INDEFINITE HIATUS)
#462: Jan 21st 2018 at 2:50:43 PM

Dear Cuphead,

That can be arranged! But by "cool" do you mean black leather and shades or cool as in cold?

Truly oblivious (and yours),

Santa

—-

Dear Santa,

I was wondering if you could get rid of all the sand in the galaxy, including on Tatooine. It's coarse, rough, irritating, and it gets everywhere. But not like you...

Sincerely,

Ani Skywalker

edited 21st Jan '18 2:52:38 PM by TheWhiteWolf

She/they. Hirrus Clutumnus is my comfort character
Mhazard Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
#463: Jan 21st 2018 at 8:33:39 PM

Dear Ani,

Ahh, there's sand on my boots!

Santa


Dear Santa,

May I have a Colt Python as my Christmas gift?

Mhazard

CyberController Blitzy.... from Pride Ring Since: Nov, 2016 Relationship Status: I don't mind being locked in this eternal maze!
Blitzy....
#464: Jan 28th 2018 at 10:10:00 AM

Dear Mhazard.

No. Why would you even need one?

Sincerly, Santa.


Dear Santa.

I need some new guns. My old ones can't kill demons as effectively. Could you please get me a BFG?

Sincerely, Doomguy

Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
Mhazard Since: Mar, 2015 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form
#465: Feb 7th 2018 at 1:30:26 AM

Dear Doomguy,

You already asked me before. Sure.

Sincerely,

Santa


Dear Santa,

Can I have my tail back?

Sincerely,

Pukei-Pukei

Murataku Don't Feed The Plant from Straya Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Don't Feed The Plant
#466: Feb 7th 2018 at 1:47:51 AM

Dear Pukei-Pukei

No, I'm afraid I can't. Your tail has already been turned into equipment with some Hunter is using to gather more tails. Disgusting, isn't it?

Sorry, Santa

Dear Santa,

Please let me finally age. I'm sick of being 10.

From Ash Ketchum

You need blood and he's got more than enough!
Albino_Axolotl from NC, United States Since: Sep, 2017 Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
#467: Feb 8th 2018 at 6:04:32 PM

Sorry kid, But you have been in a coma for ever 10 years and how you menage not to die from that is beyond me.

-Santa

Dear Santa

Will you please let mom and dad unground me. I have been grounded for over 20 years, just because I watched a tv show that I was not old enough to watch at the time.

-Caillou

When you're not the father, It's a great big surprise. Thats-a-Maury.
TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Not Sherlock Holmes
#468: Nov 4th 2018 at 5:59:03 PM

Dear Caillou:

I saw Mr Enter’s negative review on your show, and I know that you are a whiny tantrum thrower. Just for that, you get a ticket to Coalville.

Love, Santa

Dear Santa:

My, oh my..... it appears that I have run out of students for my killing game! Can you possibly send more over?

Love, Monoku- uhhhh, I mean, Jimbobberson!

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Emperor_Ing The Senate from Lunar Area 32 Since: Jun, 2018 Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
The Senate
#469: Nov 4th 2018 at 6:03:39 PM

Dear Monoku- uhhhh, I mean, Jimbobberson,

We do not support human slavery at the North Pole. Primarily because there are no humans at the North Pole, but also because basic human rights. We also frown upon murder.

- Santa

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear Santa,

I want to be added back to Calamity! A theme song would be nice too. Ten minutes of just ear-shattering death.

Sincerely,

THE LORDE!

How unfortunate that you are attempting to deceive me.
Spottedleaf Fit check for my napalm era! (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Fit check for my napalm era!
#470: Nov 5th 2018 at 5:47:38 AM

Dear THE LORDE,

I'll see what I can do.

Sincerely,

Santa


Dear Santa,

Can I please have a new collar to stick these teeth I've collected in? I've had this one since I was a kitten and it's getting to be way too tight and scratchy.

Sincerely,

Scourge, formerly known as Tiny

>^owo^<
dutchguy1986 Since: Jul, 2014
#471: Nov 5th 2018 at 6:57:19 AM

"Dear" Tiny

Collecting teeth is creepy and with you calling yourself Scourge I doubt you've been good. Still if you promise to stay away from me and my slave.... I mean elves and reindeer, yes you can have a new collar.

Santa


Dear Santa,

Can you please magically reset our stories and make sure they stay as good as they started out?

Sincerely,

Naruto and Ichigo

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Nov 5th 2018 at 10:56:26 AM

TalesofUnder Not Sherlock Holmes from 1900s England Since: May, 2017 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Not Sherlock Holmes
#472: Nov 5th 2018 at 3:05:46 PM

Dear Naruto and Ichigo:

Of course! Despite what some of my other letters suggest, I like anime.

Sincerely, Santa

Dear Santa:

I would like a rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle, some grog, a shrunken head, breath mints, root beer, gunpowder, and Murray.

Sincerely, Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate! (TM)

“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Zanreo Gizmondo from Glitch City (Ten years in the joint) Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Gizmondo
#473: Nov 7th 2018 at 3:52:17 AM

Dear Guybrush,
Now those are some unusual requests, but I know you often need various strange combinations of items for your adventures. Aside from maybe the shrunken heads and the skull, I'll see what I can do to help you out.
- Santa


How are you Santa!!
Only wish for the Christmas is all the base to be belong to me!
- CATS

Edited by Zanreo on Nov 7th 2018 at 1:16:02 PM

My favorite failed console tbh
Spottedleaf Fit check for my napalm era! (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Fit check for my napalm era!
#474: Nov 7th 2018 at 6:48:02 AM

Dear CATS,

Not all base, but some base belong to you now.

Sincerely,

Santa.


Dear Santa,

We wantsss our precious back. Nasty hobbitses stole it from us, we needsss it, we must have it.

Sincerely,

Gollum

>^owo^<
dutchguy1986 Since: Jul, 2014
#475: Nov 7th 2018 at 12:19:55 PM

Dear Gollum,

You have to understand that delivering your precious to you would require someone touching it and thus ... valuing the ring as much as you do. So instead I'm gonna tell you that if you were to steal it from the Hobbits while at the top of Mount Doom a lot of problems would be solved and you won't have to worry about losing your precious ever again.

Santa


dear santa,

I was wondering if you'd like to come celebrate christmas with me friends and family. some [[blue:of my friends are aliens who've never celebrated christmas before and we decided to have a mash up of our two traditional holidays, so if you do come ignore the behemoth "leaving" decorated like a tree. I understand you might be worried about delivering the presents, but several of my friends can fly, or teleport or travel through time so that won't be an issue. also I'll understand if you can't/don't wanna come.

John Egbert

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Nov 7th 2018 at 9:20:15 PM


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