Out of the 6 entries I’ve submitted, only 3 came through. So I’ll post the unsubmitted ones here.
"What starts out as an announcement of a 21+ nightclub in Elwood City turns into a shot-by-shot remake of the Library Card episode, this time with the Arthur gang as older teens and the backdrop as downtown at nighttime. Arthur (in a suit), Buster (with a cap on but no shirt), and Francine (in a spaghetti-strap tight dress and stilettos) walk sexily down the street as the rest of the gang joins them in the number ‘(When You’ve Got a) Fake ID’. Then the Brain does his solo number ‘Gettin’ Gettin’ High’. Then they all catch Mr. Ratburn getting service done in the back room by a special lady in the number ‘Just a Little Lubework Tonight’. And the end of the episode, when ‘Fake ID’ ends, shows the aftermath of a massive orgy within the gang. Coming Soon to PBS!"
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Apologies for the double post, but I learned an important lesson in tempting fate: either don't do it at all or do it as much as you can. I was thinking to myself "thank God I haven't seen an Ouran fic here yet" (you'd think there'd be a lot of smut fics and whatnot coming from that series). I found THIS as I was browsing the page today (at the very tippy top, might I add?):
At that moment, Takeshi Sudo, the founder and CEO of Lunchables, barged in through the front door. He was wearing a sophisticated looking business suit, and he winked at Tamaki. Tamaki blushed.”
As much as I hate it when my hopes are crushed, I will admit that the first line was probably the most hilarious thing I've seen on wtffanfiction. ![]()
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edited 5th Jun '14 8:20:56 PM by Explosivo25
I don’t even know anymore."In fact," she tittered lasciviously, "You'll be asking for a lot more when I'm done…"
Lacus stared. So did Athrun. Same with Lunamaria, Cagalli and the rest pageant's contestants. So did the live audience. The sight was horrid. The sounds they made were even worse.
"Meyrin! Please– put them back on!"
"But I'm so much better at this without them…"
"I don't care! Whatever you're going to do– I don't want it!"
"They all say that in the beginning…"
"I have a girlfriend!"
"Then she can watch and learn..."
"No! Wait! Please! Stop it! Stop!"
"They all tell me to stop– but they always mean the opposite, urged me to go on… So here, let me be your PLEASURE…"
"No! No! Stop it! No! Ah! Ahhhhhh" Kira's voice tapered off into dead silence.
"And that's how you do a foot massage to the back," the barefoot Meyrin finished with a shy smile, still standing on the back of a mostly-comatose-with-pleasure Kira.
Lacus had fainted.
"And so she dipped (geddit) her fingers on Waddles’ anus and covered them in bloody pig diarrhea, and wrote on her forehead “Babylon the Great, the Mother of Prostitutes and Abominations of the Earth”, and licked and swallowed the remaining dung with much pleasure. With a final thrust, she shoved the rest of Waddles body up her canal, only his hindhoofs remaining outside. Her womb then began to constrict, and Waddles was slowly and painfully masticated to death, his internal organs and bones completly smashed and crushed within those fleshy halls, blood, viscerae, fat, bile and shit flowing forth from Mabel’s vagina as the pig was destroyed. Mabel moaned with much hatred and pleasure and bobbed her head wildly like Animal in The Muppets movie, screaming in eldritch tongues obscenities against existence. In a few minutes, a massive pool of Waddles’ fluids laid before her, and his bump inside her was drastically reduced, only a small hill that barely indicated there was a pig previously inside. With a final push, Waddles’ hooves came inside, and the dead pig was completly within Mabel’s uterus."
"Jessy has known I’ve liked her for quite a while now. She even let me fuck her just the other day! You fucked a human. Pikachu asked shocked. Ya you’d be surprised how many Pokemon fuck their trainer’s when no ones looking.”
"The tip of his cock soon rested against her slit while his arms moved toward her back and guided her down onto his chest. She felt her breasts press against the hard smooth scales of Lavos’s abdomen and comforted herself with the knowledge that she was in the hands or, more accurately, claws of, a caring and powerful man. Or alien parasite. Whichever."
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Please tell me it's Lavos x Queen Zeal for maximum Squick factor.
Especially considering the self-insert is fucking a reality eating and warping Eldritch Abomination.
I mean, how do you even? Does Lavos even have...
Admit it, we all knew this would happen eventually. XD
Useful information, though I really don't want to know where this is going.
Uh...
edited 23rd Jun '14 4:23:42 PM by Explosivo25
I don’t even know anymore."Pete’s scared, shocked, emotional- He’s a fucking taco of emotions."
Hmm...
"She would sit there on the floor and caress the salty stick of butter, dying inside, waiting for the right moment to put it in. Carefully, she slid the stick of butter as high up as it would go into her privates. A very audible groan escaped her lips. Paula bit down on her lip. No one can discover her secret. She squeezed her eyes shut and parted her lips. She moved it in up and down motions, side to side, wash-machine style. The speed of the butter running throughout her increased and she wanted to scream, it made her feel so alive. Her insides were tearing! She tried to stay as silent as possible, but once she reached her climax, there was no hiding her pleasure filled soundsShe was throbbing and about ready to climax. One more in ‘n out and Paula let out the loudest groan yet."
...Paula Deen? Really?
“‘AAHHHH, it’s hurting!!!’
'Don't be afraid, you are recieving the power of Mecha Wolf!!!!' and BRROOOOMMMM, all went white and fumes. Hermione fell on the ground, breathing fast and confused.
'Now my child, you have a new name. You are called by the name your father wanted to you. You now shall be called: Foxylene Siouxsie Angel du Dehors.'”
Mecha Wolf. Huh
"Very awkwardly, Warden appeared to be pinning down Mistress while his crotch was inches away from hers (fortunately, they didn’t appear to be touching) and his knees almost touched her boobs. The both of them were blushing from embarrassment and sexual arousal."
“You wake up in a house and you see the girl with no leg except now she has a leg so that’s pretty cool for her you guess. It looks like a robot leg which is kind of weird. You crawl over to her robot toes and suck on her cold metal foot fingers.”
.....Hue?
“‘Usagi, if you truly value everything good about the world, please cease this revenge and save your brother!’ says Rei wisely.
'Ah, you’re trying to trick me so that I cannot perform my holy vengeance of Horus on your sorry putridity pussy! Not gonna work, whore of the Mars!'
'Listen Serena, your brother is being raped both in the astral realm and the heaven realm. If you allow this perversion to happen, the cum of Jack Frost will make him his slave, Shing’s heart will be FROZEN!!!' (geddit like in the Disney movie)”
Random Frozen reference is Random
"Uncle Grandpa loved Pizza Steve in every other way as more than just a friend, even sexually. In fact, he had wanted to lose his virginity to the pizza slice ever since they had acquainted themselves. Pizza Steve himself had always been in love with Giant Realistic Flying Tiger, mainly because GRFT had a reputation for being very sultry and aggressive whenever she went into heat. (Pizza Steve had a thing for raging, seductive women.) Uncle Grandpa was completely oblivious to the passion Pizza Steve had for GRFT, however, and so he was convinced that his pizza slice friend/crush was in need of some assurance."
Didn't know that Giant Flying Realistic Tiger was female...
"Nobody ever says ‘get on your hands and knees and keep still’ with moral intentions."
Ain't that the truth.
"Pizza Steve ran underneath GRFT and shoved himself up her vagina. Shortly afterward, Uncle Grandpa proceeded to run behind GRFT and thrust his meat tube into Pizza Steve’s vagina. Gus could only watch in amazement as the human male, pizza slice, and the tigress all engaged in interspecies coitus. All three of them screamed and moaned and growled as loudly as they could while they fucked in sync. (Gus even had to time their orgasms at one point to see if they were happening simultaneously.) Finally, the ordeal ended when GRFT and Pizza Steve were oozing with milky-white seminal fluid."
....I got nothing.
"Hey, Wendo, wanna see my Dipples?"
No.
"Something shoots out of Tifa’s cunt and onto Chicabo’s lap. ‘W… What was that?’ ‘Congratulations Honey, It’s a girl!’ ‘WHAT???!!!!!!!!!’ Chicabo shows her a tiny yellow chocobo. ‘She’s…. Mine?’ ‘Yep!’ ‘But… but that’s impossible!’ ‘Not many people know that humans can bear chocobo young, it only takes a few hours, they don’t even need an umbilical cord.’"
........
"Merc wakes up, his legs are tied in the air. He feels excruciating pain. He lifts his head up and sees Faith in a horse mask moving her hand in a rocking motion
'ARE YOU FISTING ME?'
'Don't be sirry. I'm using the new dildo you bought.'
Merc switches from anger to pleasure. He yells. faith has hit the G Spot.
'HARD. DO IT BETTER.. STRONGER. FASTER.'
She whinneys and her head spins like the exorcist.”
..............................
"Amethyst removed her face from Pearl’s rather small bosom and swiped more icing off the cake. She positioned herself between Pearl’s legs and spread the icing around her vulva. ‘She didn’t tell me where she was going, she just left and-’ A loud gasp interrupted the sentence as Pearl felt Amethyst’s tongue licking up the icing on her vulva."
.........Huh.
"Lucky slowly inserted the long needle down hanks urethra blood started coming out as the needle hit the other end. Hank gave up struggling and just started crying. ‘Funny thing about these needles. They’re very brittle. If you try to bend them they just snap,’ said Lucky. Hank looked on in horror as Lucky reached down and grabbed his dick. Lucky began bending Hank’s dick with the needle still in it and sure enough the needle broke into shards piercing the insides of Hank’s miniscule digit. Hank screamed again and passed out from the pain."
....................... Fuck this gay earth.
edited 25th Jun '14 7:31:34 AM by Demongodofchaos2
Watch Symphogear

It's quite obviously a trollfic.
I don't know when that fic was written but, given recent events, its a bit distasteful.