UBW WRESTLING CRATER SHOWDOWN: VERSUS SORAYA MONTENEGRO
(The figure is beaned! And kicked! And enveloped in Unlimited Blade Works (and planted in the middle of a wrestling ring therein), thus revealing itself to be—)
...You think all this stupid tricks gives you any chance?
(The Demon Queen herself.
◊ Soraya Montenegro stands before them, smug despite it all.)
You dirty little peasants.
With a wicked cackle, she breaks the tarantula jar on the ground and takes flight, trying to pluck a handful of swords out of the air with her free hand before they can skewer her. She certainly can't get them all, though, not with those scissors in the other hand.)
(The giant tarantula leaps from the broken jar and pounces Park, knocking him back into Spidey.)
OUTTA THE ALLEY
(Aha! The motel is just across the street, the increasingly large and glowing figure of the Handichrist now visible right behind it. She's at least the size of a skyscraper and is still keeping a hold on the moon.)
...Whoaaaaa, shit dude!
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019-Spider-Man is crashed into by Park-
AUGH! Spider!
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?(smirks, maintaining a fair amount of fire from whatever direction he can to keep her occupied)
("This thing's just getting in the way.")
(jumps out of the ring and back onto the ground of his own Reality Marble, pulling out a red spear from the ground)
(then, taking aim, he prepares to wind it up, all while the swords continue to assail Soraya)
edited 1st Feb '17 7:50:18 PM by foxmccloud4387
-oh god this is actually a lot of chaos where the hell can you pitch in mob-
-he expected to be a lot more mad about this but he's a bit more worried about friendly fire-
-uhhh... alright mob how about...-
-GIANT TARANTULA-
-TAKE THAT-
-AND THROW IT OVER THERE-
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean-immediately opens fire on Soraya-
-the gun goes click-
...
I don't bring bullets around with me.
-tosses the gun aside-
Why would I?
-catches sight of something in the ground, walking towards it-
It's not every day a woman finds herself in the midst of a fucking war zone.
-wrenches the blade
◊ out of the ground-
Well, I've just about bloody well HAD it.
-the sword glows in her hand-
-its obsidian blades rev up like a chainsaw, making a fierce grinding sound-
Do yer fecking worst, y' absolut wagon!
-Orion rushes for Soraya, her face twisted into an enraged snarl-
edited 1st Feb '17 8:05:44 PM by thespacephantom
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOICLUSTERFUCK MAYHEM ARMAGEDDON SHOWDOWN
Gahhhhh...!
(KAPLUCK! Mobbu rips the tarantula off right before it can sink its fangs into Park's juicy neck.)
(Soraya latches her thick, voluptuous demon legs around the cross and straddles it, just barely Matrix-dodging Planetman's attack, but taking several swords and Sav's SPORTS MISSILE in the process.)
Gahhh—! ¡MUERA, INSOLENTES!
(She hisses and throws her great scissors in a boomerang arc, intending to hit Archer, Mob and Demotte in the same throw, and with her handful of pilfered swords, thrusts several of them at Planetman and Spidey.)
(...In her madwoman's rage, she neglects to see Orion and is gouged in the thigh by the fucking mayan chainsword and screams in agony.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YOU FUCKING BIIIIIIIIIITCH—!
Apocalyptic Streets
Uhhhhhhh... Nnnnno...?
(Scratches his head, trying not to look at Claudia as she penetrates the ionosphere.)
...I mean... Maybe... Maybe the diner...?
edited 1st Feb '17 8:12:03 PM by MobileLeprechaun
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019Heyyyyup!
-Spidey jumps up into the air, twisting and angling his spin to avoid the swords flying his direction-
-They narrowly miss, except the last, which nicks him across the chest-
Ough!
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?-laughs, crazed with bloodlust-
Ohhhhh, I been called a hell of a lot worse than that, love!
-twists the blade in the wound before wrenching it out-
-and swings it overhead at Soraya-
-her form is utterly uncoordinated - she's never held a sword before in her life - yet she fights with a rage that lends her impossible strength-
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOIUBW Wrestling Ring
(Planetman lands in the ring, and catches one of the swords tossed at him. As it turns out, that sword is the Sword of Atilla, better known as the Sword of the War God)
How fitting.
(He uses the sword to bat away the other swords heading his way. Planetman absorbs the sword and he gets arm blades as a result.) Hell's Merry-Go-Round! (does a somersault with the arm blades extended out.)
edited 1st Feb '17 8:33:58 PM by josh6243
SORAYA MUST SOR-DIE-A
(Demotte's cross-slam is a success! The beastly woman hits the ground hard, shrieking in pain as she takes Gae Bolg and the Mayan Chainsaw Massacre simultaneously in the abdomen, black blood pouring from her wounds... and a baseball to the female no-no place... aaaaand a Hell's Merry-Go-Round to the armpit.)
.........
(In that instant, Soraya becomes enveloped in crimson flame.
Her eyes glow bright white. Her jaw unhinges. Horrible sounds come out, not even Spanish, barely even words, just shrieks and hisses in the ineloquent language of hatred. Her wings ignite, her flesh sizzles, gouts of plasma form all around her, brimstone is conjured from beneath.)
(With a mighty roar, she lets loose with an explosive volley of flame, brimstone and plasma, hurling white-hot heat at everyone in the immediate vicinity.)
Diner
(Charlie ambles in, already sniffing around for something to munch upon.)
(Oddly quiet in here, especially with the waiter gone...)
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019-is blown back, shrouded in flame-
-lands hard on the ground, rolling and stopping only when she hits something-
... -rises mechanically, swaying slightly from the strain of standing up-
-she is covered in raw, bloody burns-
-her right arm hangs limply by her side, the sword blown away-
-her mechanical arm fumbles behind her, grasping blindly onto the sword she hit-
-sword is a misnomer-
-Orion forces herself forward towards Soraya, dragging the stone axe-sword behind her-
edited 1st Feb '17 8:45:23 PM by thespacephantom
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI

-Mob pauses at being surrounded by UBW, calming down enough to take a moment and think-
Wh-What...?
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean