Gwonam's Questionable Carpet Ride
(Gab hustles over to the carpet right alongside Planetman.)
(The carpet scoots to help Reigen the rest of the way, then Gwonam launches DAFUQ OFF)
SQUADALLAH!
Ehehehehehehehehhhh—! It's— heheheheheheh! This place is just so ridiculous, eheheheh, it's perfect... I almost want to live here...
Here is the map. (makes a fuckin' map appear) Where do you wish to go...?
…
...Jahst kid—ing! Your go—ing r-igh-t the fah—k to Ganon.
(SQUADALLAH, he swoops on down into the mouth of an especially evil- (and great-) looking face
◊.)
The Villa Evil
(Catch them it does, but only half of them, the others skewering deep into its bug blubber and drawing bright yellow blood. Its attempt to hurl them back at Archer falls short, as it can't manage to make the arrows fly straight and just sorta sends them scattering about. Roaring in frustration, it grabs a terrified Park instead and lobs yet another human projectile right towards Archer.)
(THWOP—!! Owwwwie, that had to snap the poor bastard's collarbone pretty well. Dude's not getting back up, not anytime soon.)
(...Ah, but an unforeseen complication, for unsettling quiet kid in armor
◊ is now lunging for Spidey with his big ol' sword.)
I wanted to fight the WARLAHK!
edited 15th Jan '17 7:48:24 AM by MobileLeprechaun
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019...
(Archer dismisses his bow, summoning Yang-sword Kanshou into his left hand)
(in the moment that Park hurtles towards him, he throws it around Park, seemingly missing both ally and enemy)
(but then, as Archer raises his hands and braces himself to catch Park...)
Our strength moves the mountains.
(the Yin-sword Bakuya he threw before to save Orion is attracted to the thrown Kanshou, flying off the ground towards Beelzegrub's back while Kanshou changes trajectory to cut him from the front)
Whoa! Sword sword sword!
-Darts back, firing globs of webbing at the kid in rapid succession-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Ganon's Lair
(Gwonam simply smiles at Reigen, in his grandfatherly way.)
no.
(He then turns to Demotte.)
Ganon is— EEVIL— and his— face is— GRRRREAT. You must— defeat Ganon and— return— the island of Koradai— to harmony!
(The carpet makes a gentle landing in front of the spooky-looking door.)
There is no time, HURRY! Your sword— and Lamp oil and— BOMBS and— Enclosed Instruction Book and— FOOTBALL and— DINNER Blaster is enough.
(The old Ayrab wizard makes frantic shooing motions.)
Go, with many blessings! Defeat Ganon.
(DO OR DIE, LADS)
The Villa Evil
(...At the exact moment Park lands in Archer's arms, and the exact moment Orion's bullets pierce Beelzegrub's flesh, the Yin and Yang swords neatly bisect the great grubmonster, splitting it open like a sausage and getting yellow blood ERRYWHEEEEERE.)
(It doesn't seem to have registered with the poor fella that he was caught quite yet, and he shivers like a terrified mutt and hides his eyes under his bugpaws.)
(GHHHH-LOP. The nasty dweeb falls over, writhing around and trying in vain to free himself.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU COCKSUCKERS DO?!?!?!?
(Shit, Peter, incoming Braless Ween at 12 o'clock! Dude's charing up for a savage chest bump...)
edited 16th Jan '17 10:49:48 AM by MobileLeprechaun
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019That is not how I wanna die.
-Low on web fluid, Spidey goes in for a pair of gut punches, followed up by a spinning back-kick to the chest-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Ganon's Lair
(Gwonam nods at Zack, his head making a little creaky noise as he does, like a hinge in need of grease. He watches Reigen expectantly, tapping his foot a bit.)
(There he is, the man of the hour, so big and scary a—... mannnnn this "Ganon" guy
is way less intimidating than he was made out to be. What even is he, some kinda... bulldog furry? A wingless bat?)
Join me, Link, and I wi—
…!?!
(Double-takes, his eyes bugging out a bit.)
Wh—ERE the— f—uhh-CK is— Link? wh—O the f—uhh-CK are— you?!
(Gwonam peeks in.)
Ganon—, these are the—
…
...Hrrrmmm... I d—on't know— wh—o the f—aah—k they— are.
Augh...!
(exasperated piggu)
The Villa Evil
I'M GONNA TEAR OUT YOUR FUCKI—BWAAAUUUUUGHHHHHHHHH fuck fuck ow...
(Ween goes down like a little bitch, clutching his abdomen and hissing little curses.)
(Yay, no more puke! except for a little crusty bit near the shoulder, but it's real tiny )
(Park is set down with no problems, though he's clearly shaken and is all shivery, breathing heavily.)
...?...
(Dr. Evil is just barely clinging to life, blearily looking up at Orion. For someone on death's doorstep, though, he looks profoundly calm.)
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019-Spidey webs him to the floor for good measure-
Aaaaand ladies and gentlemen, that concludes tonight's entertai—
-He looks to Orion and Dr Evil-
What do you think you're doing?! He's been shot! We need to get him to a hospital!
edited 17th Jan '17 1:32:47 PM by SR3NORMANDY
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

-Reigen is nearly crushed by all the Merchandise-
You never know when it might all be needed, Mob!!.....[WHEEEEZE] For god's sake, use your POWERS-