-Peter pushes through the door and skids to a stop on the tiles, tossing his backpack on the ground and pacing for a moment-
Okay... okay... game face, Peter. Game face.
-He pulls off his glasses, able to see just fine without them given that the lenses were fake, and then unzipped the bag, pulling out its contents as he quickly undressed-
-His record for changing was 93 seconds. He would probably fall a bit short given the stress of the situation-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?The Villa Evil
(KSSSSHHHHHK—! Skaedra's arms and most of her shoulder and a sizable flap of her neck are severed in the mighty slash. Skaedra HOWLS in pain... But then conjures up two phantasmal arms made of her own blood, and grins in perverse glee as she tries to wrest one of Archer's swords from him.)
Come now, Ganjiang, is this any way to treat YOUR SISTER?
(Dr. Evil, though fading fast, still smiles his wicked smile at Orion.)
...Can't you see, Artemis...? Your fortuitous rolls have made Skaedra stronger than you could imagine... Are you proud of yourself...?
(Breen kicks about and makes pissed-off choking noises as Beelzegrub Iscariot tightens the proboscis noose.)
(Hurry, Peter, hurry! There's skittering noises coming from just outside your stall...)
Shoppin' w/Morshu (MMMMMM)
I'm— richer!
(Gleefully counts the money, just entranced by it.)
(Lessee, lamp oil... rope... bombs... buncha swords... some kinda manual or something
... dinky little wand that looks like a children's toy... Oho? What's this,
◊ Demotte...?)
-Peter is in terrible danger!-
-Or he would be, if he were around at the moment-
-Because he is nowhere in sight-
-The stall door flies off its hinges, and a lean figure in bright red and blue spandex
launches himself across the restroom to squat on the opposite wall, holding out his hands and pressing with his middle two digits to shoot streams of sticky webbing at the skittering creatures-
Iiiiit's showtime!
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Morshu's Shop
(Having been paid, Morshu has no objections to the youths rifling through his STUFF! He turns to Zack, looking blank a moment before getting a sheepish smile.)
MMMMMM... sure.
The Villa Evil
(Another good cut, he manages to sever both legs. Skaedra compensates by shooting jets of pressurized blood from her stumps before she can hit the ground and hovering towards Archer, but her face begins to go waxen pale, and her blood "arms" shrink back to compensate for it all.)
Ghhhhhhhrkkk–! Diiiiiiieeeeeeee...
(Beelzegrub screams and drops Breen REALLY hard on the floor with a huge thud, swooping down to try and ram Orion with its nasty bug head.)
(THWAP THWAP THWAP! This spidery man encases the confused little arachnids in his web, and they writhe in impotent rage.)
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019-He doesn't look back, already powering out of the restroom and back towards the action, firing more webs ahead of himself and yanking himself through the hallway at high speed to arrive at the scene of the fight, skidding to a stop hugging close to the ground in a weird, spider-like posture-
Alright, Dr Evil, I hope you're ready for a TPK courtesy of your Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man!
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

Shop
(Inside the modest little shop awaits the shopkeep, who—... Hm.
Okay...)
Lamp-oil, rope, bombs. You want it? It's yours, my friend, as long as you have enough rubies!
(All kindsa weapons and shit line the shelves.)
The Villa Evil
(GSSSSHHHK—! Right into Skaedra Bloodflux's head, just barely stopping her from thrusting the blade through the prosthetic and into Orion's skull... But even as it sits deep in her eyesocket, the awful sorceress doesn't go down. She cackles fiendishly and raises a hand, levitating the blood from her wound up and into the air and forming it into nasty little scab-darts that shoot right for Archer.)
(Toshiro Overly-Long-Name Il-Sung is not as lucky and lets out a pained scream as the arrow punctures his spine, losing his grip on the sword and collapsing forward, pinning Park under him.)
Ghhh–!
(Peter just barely manages to shake the spiders, and— Look, around the corner! The Men's Room.
)
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019