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Songwriting anxiety

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BlackElephant Obsidian Proboscidean from In the Room Since: Oct, 2011
Obsidian Proboscidean
#1: Dec 8th 2011 at 9:52:13 PM

How can you tell if a song's lyrics (whether written by you or not) are terrible?

The reason I ask is because I'm considering writing a Sims 2 machinima musical. I've written songs in the past (mostly parody songs for fanfics), so I've gotten a lot of practice, but I've also written some really crappy songs. The crappy songs seemed perfectly fine when I wrote them, then something happened and a week later I decided they were unsalvageable and needed to be re-written entirely.

I'm not sure I can use the "Do you truly believe this is a good song" or "Did you put your all into it" because sometimes I did and it was still lackluster (or in the case of these songs, unfunny). Are there any other criteria? I've looked on-line and asked other people about it, but the answers they gave were kind of vague. I figured this might be a good question to ask on a site that's full of analytical types.

Also, the answers could help other people with writing their own songs, if they need it.

I'm an elephant. Rurr.
NatTheWriter Since: Oct, 2011
#2: Dec 8th 2011 at 10:00:28 PM

Some intangible concept called "flow"? I'unno. I'd suggest reading your lyrics aloud and thinking about how it all sounds together. One thing that might help is asking yourself this: "What do I aim to do with this song? Am I succeeding at it?" Or you can try showing the lyrics to someone else and they can tell you where you've erred.

I'm not much of a songwriter, though, so I might be totally wrong on everything I just said. I guess writing is one of those fuzzy things? It's not that easy to analyze it by concrete components.

edited 8th Dec '11 10:01:26 PM by NatTheWriter

JHM Apparition in the Woods from Niemandswasser Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Hounds of love are hunting
Apparition in the Woods
#3: Dec 9th 2011 at 9:02:19 AM

The eternal conundrum. My yardstick is thus: Does it work in context? Do you cringe when you hear certain lines, or say to yourself, "I really liked that bit"? Even if the words don't scan well, do the speech rhythms match suitably with the musical ones? Is the emotional tone right, even if it contradicts that of the music itself? Are the words, however simple or complex, used well? These are all important to whether or not a lyric is "good" or not.

I'll hide your name inside a word and paint your eyes with false perception.
Saeglopur Resident Hipster from Various places in the UK Since: Jan, 2001
Resident Hipster
#4: Dec 9th 2011 at 9:24:09 AM

When writing lyrics (from what little experience I have), I tend to approach them much like I would any other form of writing - think about setting up emotion, mood and atmosphere before you worry about rhymes, meter and so on. Those can be tidied up afterwards.

The best lyrics are evocative ones. This can be in terms of emotion, making the listener feel what you want them to, and in terms of setting, making them imagine the people and places that you're singing about. Often the two go hand in hand. Concentrate on nailing those before you worry about that stray syllable that's bugging you or that slightly clunky rhyme.

Listen to Music with Tropers at The Troper Turntable!
0dd1 Just awesome like that from Nowhere Land Since: Sep, 2009
Just awesome like that
#5: Dec 9th 2011 at 7:08:19 PM

For me, it's always about what you aim to do with a song. Then again, you probably shouldn't listen to me, since usually when I'm actively trying to come up with something it doesn't work and I usually get down my best lyrics when an idea just pops into my head that I need to pen down right away.

The biggest thing with judging your own material is that you yourself will usually be your harshest critic. Hell, Keith Richards didn't like "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" when he and Mick Jagger were done writing it. (I'm not saying that the stuff that you think is the worst that you've done is really the stuff of legends, but you never know.)

Maybe give us a sample so we know what you're talking about specifically.

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.
BlackElephant Obsidian Proboscidean from In the Room Since: Oct, 2011
Obsidian Proboscidean
#6: Dec 26th 2011 at 1:43:38 PM

Here's a sample of a song from the rough draft of the machinima musical (the characters are named "Nervous" and "Loki"):

(Brief backstory: Nervous is a test subject in a lab, Loki is the abused husband and occasional test subject of the mad scientist who runs the lab, though he is a scientist, too. He's one of the "good guy" scientists. The mad scientist wife has an evil plot to make the whole town her slaves/test subjects. Yes, this is a Sims 2 Strangetown fanfiction set to music.)

(Verse One)

Nervous: Cast off in a stony hole,

I question if I’ve even got a soul. *

I guess it’s just my lot in life

My only friends are mildew, pain, and strife.

(Chorus)

A man can only take so much

Before his heartache swells.

Must I go to hell

And back all through this plot?

Why not

Count the days until I’m free?

(Verse Two, after a musical break)

Loki: I’m nothing to her now.

I might as well break every single vow.

The woman I once idolized

Became the wicked witch before my eyes.

(Chorus)

A man can only take so much

Before his anger swells…

She can go to hell

Before I join her plot.

Why not

Tell her where to shove her schemes?

Loki (melody) and Nervous (harmony):

Revenge would not be hard to try…

And if I plan it well,

She’ll go to hell;

Her blood will stain my hands.

But still….

Would they really understand?

(Bridge, after another musical break)

Nervous:

If I were found out,

No jury would convict somebody like me.

Loki:

I’d be condemned;

And doomed to Cell Block Three.

Nervous:

But I wouldn’t dream

Of taking a Sim’s life.

Loki:

I can’t kill my wife!

Nervous:

How could I plot…

Loki:

Murder is not…

Both:

The way I should go.

(Chorus, after another short musical break)

Both (in harmony):

The two of us can take so much.

We hide our suffering well.

We can go to hell and back;

You’d never know.

And so…

We’re living a great lie.

Revenge has never crossed our minds.

Each day we are compelled

To endure the hell of living in this house…

Loki: Although… Nervous:

It all makes me want to die…

That first verse is a little narmy (possibly going into wangsty) now that I think of it, but it fits the over-the-top tone of the Sims 2, I guess.

edited 26th Dec '11 1:47:52 PM by BlackElephant

I'm an elephant. Rurr.
0dd1 Just awesome like that from Nowhere Land Since: Sep, 2009
Just awesome like that
#7: Dec 27th 2011 at 5:13:14 PM

My only problem is that I don't know how it's s'posed to scan. Do you have a certain melody in mind that this would go to? It'd be a lot easier to analyze or edit (if need be) if so.

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.
BlackElephant Obsidian Proboscidean from In the Room Since: Oct, 2011
Obsidian Proboscidean
#8: Dec 27th 2011 at 9:16:11 PM

[up] I wrote it to the tune of this song (sort of like a parody, I guess?):

I'm an elephant. Rurr.
0dd1 Just awesome like that from Nowhere Land Since: Sep, 2009
Just awesome like that
#9: Dec 27th 2011 at 11:51:59 PM

Well, first, lemme say that's the moodiest Madonna song I've ever heard...anyhoo.

I think that it works pretty well. As for your worries about wangst, I'd say if it works in the context of the larger framework of whatever it is your doing (which it seems to here), then it's fine. In general as a character song I'd say it's pretty good. Before I knew what the melody was, just reading through it it kinda reminded me of 'Behind Blue Eyes'.

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.
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