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chibifenrix Forever wandering, Never lost. from Va-1 Ha-1A Since: Dec, 2012 Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Forever wandering, Never lost.
#243801: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:05:24 PM

Shut it, I'm not as good at phone-fu as spazz.

Lilqueendaisy A chill feller from Not Earth Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: In love with love
A chill feller
#243802: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:05:48 PM

( p-•)

p‹( •-•)

oh god it has happened, i never thought it would... ( •-•)

edited 25th Mar '14 7:06:49 PM by Lilqueendaisy

LOVE IS STORED IN THE AXOLOTL!
megarockman from The Sixth Borough (Experienced Trainee)
#243803: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:06:19 PM

Expressions of Power: Force * velocity

edited 25th Mar '14 7:06:48 PM by megarockman

The damned queen and the relentless knight.
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#243804: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:06:57 PM

"How the hell am I talking through closed teeth," wondered Prometheus through his bladder.

War is God.
MobileLeprechaun (: from Grayrock, TX Since: Aug, 2009 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
(:
#243805: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:07:37 PM

You might want to get some antibiotics for that.

make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#243806: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:08:06 PM

You know, most of the time, a simple "said" is all that's needed.

War is God.
chibifenrix Forever wandering, Never lost. from Va-1 Ha-1A Since: Dec, 2012 Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Forever wandering, Never lost.
#243807: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:09:45 PM

welp. my typing quirks are being made fun of.

i feel like a homestuck fan from before homestuck was mainstream.

Lilqueendaisy A chill feller from Not Earth Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: In love with love
A chill feller
#243808: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:09:53 PM

grammer nazi?...

LOVE IS STORED IN THE AXOLOTL!
MobileLeprechaun (: from Grayrock, TX Since: Aug, 2009 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
(:
#243809: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:10:06 PM

daisy no

make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019
Lilqueendaisy A chill feller from Not Earth Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: In love with love
A chill feller
#243810: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:11:23 PM

Sorry Mobile. u_u

LOVE IS STORED IN THE AXOLOTL!
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#243811: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:13:39 PM

Well just remember that usually that's all that's needed.

Tone and whatnot should ideally be self-evident from the dialogue itself.

Young writers, I've noticed, struggle with telling vs. showing. It's a hard thing to learn. Usually that can be mended with a bit of practice.

If she's pleased or happy, the words should reflect that. You shouldn't have to tell the reader otherwise.

No, that's not grammar nazism. That's just a tenant of literature.

War is God.
chibifenrix Forever wandering, Never lost. from Va-1 Ha-1A Since: Dec, 2012 Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Forever wandering, Never lost.
#243812: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:15:52 PM

It's a problem I am well aware of and have been working on for a while. I slipped up. Simple as that.

ramuf Electric Heart from the Shining Throne Since: Jan, 2013
Electric Heart
#243813: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:15:55 PM

Young writers

I'd correct that as new writers. Young writers can understand the idea just as well as older writers.

Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#243814: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:16:27 PM

[up]Point taken.

War is God.
MobileLeprechaun (: from Grayrock, TX Since: Aug, 2009 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
(:
#243815: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:16:39 PM

Easy, dude. It's just a bit of advice.

make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
chibifenrix Forever wandering, Never lost. from Va-1 Ha-1A Since: Dec, 2012 Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Forever wandering, Never lost.
#243817: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:19:02 PM

Sorry if that sounded hostile. I do appreciate the construcctive critiquing, and it is a mistake i've been working on for a long while.

Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#243818: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:21:04 PM

Eeehhhh...

No big deal.

Honestly, I just came back from watching a really really pretentious piece of arthouse garbage.

It's a retelling of Alice in Wonderland with a (wow, so original) dark twist.

It uses stop-motion. Oh, and Alice narrates EVERY FUCKING THING EVERYONE SAYS.

When it was clear who said what and how.

Uggghhh.....

It just took a pet-peeve of mine and like shoved it in my face over and over and over and over...

War is God.
SR3NORMANDY Problem Child from N/A - In constant flux Since: Jul, 2012
chibifenrix Forever wandering, Never lost. from Va-1 Ha-1A Since: Dec, 2012 Relationship Status: Barbecuing
Forever wandering, Never lost.
#243821: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:22:54 PM

Yeah, I can see how it can make someone testy.

Lilqueendaisy A chill feller from Not Earth Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: In love with love
A chill feller
#243822: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:23:19 PM

Pet peeves are like cats that ruin the couch.

LOVE IS STORED IN THE AXOLOTL!
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#243823: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:23:27 PM

[up][up][up]Yeah I know.

Real original.

edited 25th Mar '14 7:23:36 PM by Prometheus136

War is God.
Trip Since: Mar, 2012
#243824: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:24:19 PM

Fun fact: The first Dark Alice was the first Dark Alice

so Lighter Alice is actually more original

eldritchseer all the loose ends from Cocytus Since: Mar, 2019
all the loose ends
#243825: Mar 25th 2014 at 7:25:39 PM

we need a dark retelling of

care bears


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