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Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#473751: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:05:41 PM

i don't like anakin

he's coarse, moody and he gets everywhere

dead devotion
Trip Since: Mar, 2012
#473752: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:21:43 PM

there is only one line dumber than that

"who was the father"

"there was no father"

l

literally anything else would be better than "ANAKIN IS JESUS GOOD GOD"

you know if jesus lightsabered a school, slaughtered an entire village, ensured that hitler would be in power for decades, committed horrific war crimes, slaughtered his own troops because they annoyed him, etc etc

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#473753: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:23:52 PM

I have returned because what was on tv was apparently not on tv.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
Trip Since: Mar, 2012
#473754: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:36:05 PM

you know what i'mma tear into this movie briefly

NOSTALGIA GLASSES ARE OFF

there was a scene during Maul's first fight where qui-gon and anakin are already running to the ship

now there was actually a scene that showed qui-gon and anakin going there much less urgently before qui-gon senses something is up, and THEN they run

it's a very short scene and would have explained this minor annoyance

also the biggest problem i have with it is how they shove all the Beloved Original Trilogy characters in as fast as possible

like

okay obviously Anakin Obi-Wan Palpitoad and Yoda were necessary

and maaaaybe Jabba since he didn't really detract from anything

but

c-3po and artoo reaaally didn't need to make an appearence, even though they're not that bad even in the prequels

and 3po's origin is

well it really says it all

maul had to have dialogue edited in which is a big nono

not gonna go for low hanging fruit like Shitty Anakin and Padme Romance and Darth Darth Binks

i know that it might not make sense that obi-wan would go into tatooine instead of qui-gon since it would make more sense for the more experienced and mature of the two to enter the scummy shithive and for the less capable but still battle ready apprentice to guard the the ship and its inhabitants

but when Qui-Gon meeting anakin is more impactful than fucking Obi-Wan meeting anakin there's a problem

(also bringing jar jar)

there's plenty more but this is a long enough post so PREPARE FOR ANOTHER

WAIT WAIT one more thing

14 year old queen

doesn't work

even if both your parents die and you have no siblings there's always somebody chosen to stand in until the king or queen is of age

there's a name for that person i forget what it is

edited 2nd Jan '16 2:38:20 PM by Trip

eldritchseer all the loose ends from Cocytus Since: Mar, 2019
all the loose ends
#473755: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:41:00 PM

a regent, i think

thespacephantom Jamais vu from the smallest church in Saint-Saëns Since: Oct, 2009
Jamais vu
#473756: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:44:48 PM

yeah regent

UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
eldritchseer all the loose ends from Cocytus Since: Mar, 2019
all the loose ends
#473757: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:45:23 PM

also it's an elective monarchy

so people voted for a 14 year old

HilarityEnsues Since: Sep, 2009
#473758: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:49:15 PM

also why are the prequel jedi all super anti-emotion in the prequels

they stressed how ana's love for padme was a big part of what drove him over the edge, and treat it as this super dangerous thing

and in general act like weird robots, more so than the actual robot C 3 P 0

was that always a thing and i just don't remember

Trip Since: Mar, 2012
#473759: Jan 2nd 2016 at 2:50:38 PM

yeah a regent

more like a reJECT amirite

anyway most of the bullshit happens in the first half so the second half just sort of festers in it

other than the fact that they turn yoda from a "wise, no-fucking-around master of the force" to a general asshole

"i love my mom"

"you're worse than Plageuis"

and also

"awful and shitty and incredibly dangerous, fear is"

"now don't let this kid be in the jedi order, i'm scared that he'll fuck us up later down the line since he's old and is able to think for himself"

granted he was right but fuck he's a hypocrite now

also the fact that it's outright canon that the jedi academy take children at such a young age that the incredibly old age of nine years is too much

which, while the sith are objectively worse, this paints the jedi in a light that's not much better, since it basically says that the jedi take children to turn them into child soldiers

granted the novels go into detail about this and say it's a choice for the babby to either join the jedi, stay with their family/planet on the condition that they don't use their powers, which is a little forceful but fair, or die

and of course joining the jedi is "superbly honerablu" so more likely than not the little shit is going anyway

but

at least there's a choice???

up until disney came at least

unless there was a line of dialogue i missed as well in which case oh well

[up][up] oh yeah i forgot about that

looks like Deez Nutz has a chance somewehre in a galaxy far far away

OH OH OH

one more thing i forgot

was the greedo cameo necessary in the slightest

was greedo

a character who's entire role in A New Hope was to die and make an entirely different character look badass

who criminally enough did NOT get NEARLY enough "origin story" in the prequels

really so memorable that he had to be shown as a child to explain his backstory

it took me years to learn greedo even HAD a name

which i'll admit is dumb of me since EVERYTHING in star wars has a name

edited 2nd Jan '16 3:02:19 PM by Trip

ChrissieMcNapkins bruhonetta from the traphouse Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
bruhonetta
#473760: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:25:55 PM

so

im watching A New Hope

and

fuck the added in cgi is noticable as fuck

I live in a constant state of fear and misery.
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#473762: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:28:31 PM

greedo shot first

dead devotion
ChrissieMcNapkins bruhonetta from the traphouse Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
bruhonetta
#473763: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:30:42 PM

not that far yet

luke is talkin to obi

I live in a constant state of fear and misery.
RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#473764: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:31:26 PM

"A more civilized weapon for a more civilized age" -said weapon used to kill children-

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
ChrissieMcNapkins bruhonetta from the traphouse Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
bruhonetta
#473765: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:42:10 PM

someone needs to go back in time and stop george lucas

oh my god stop this cgi please it adds nothing

edited 2nd Jan '16 3:51:14 PM by ChrissieMcNapkins

I live in a constant state of fear and misery.
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#473766: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:50:17 PM

okay i am off from work time to play splato

-7 min update-

oh

edited 2nd Jan '16 3:50:25 PM by Boxen

dead devotion
ChrissieMcNapkins bruhonetta from the traphouse Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
bruhonetta
#473767: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:51:25 PM

HAN SOLO

i cant tell who shot first

edited 2nd Jan '16 3:53:51 PM by ChrissieMcNapkins

I live in a constant state of fear and misery.
HilarityEnsues Since: Sep, 2009
#473768: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:56:03 PM

i feel like lucas, in all his years, has never heard of the concept of remaking movies

it's the only reason i can think of that he does this shit

if someone were to tell him that multiple versions of a movie could exist at once i think he'd lose his mind

Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#473769: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:57:57 PM

"there... there were HOW MANY VERSIONS OF SPIDER MAN"

dead devotion
RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#473770: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:59:04 PM

I feel like a huge nerd.

My dice bag weighs two pounds.

It feels like I could kill a seagull with it.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
ChrissieMcNapkins bruhonetta from the traphouse Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
bruhonetta
#473771: Jan 2nd 2016 at 3:59:06 PM

spiderman 2 is the best spiderman movie

and possibly the best superhero movie ever made

I live in a constant state of fear and misery.
Trip Since: Mar, 2012
ChrissieMcNapkins bruhonetta from the traphouse Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
bruhonetta
#473773: Jan 2nd 2016 at 4:02:47 PM

was too

I live in a constant state of fear and misery.
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#473774: Jan 2nd 2016 at 4:03:18 PM

>no off-tv play

hahahaha rip me

dead devotion
Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#473775: Jan 2nd 2016 at 4:06:28 PM

you gotta watch the map in splatoon

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean

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