there is only one line dumber than that
"who was the father"
"there was no father"
l
literally anything else would be better than "ANAKIN IS JESUS GOOD GOD"
you know if jesus lightsabered a school, slaughtered an entire village, ensured that hitler would be in power for decades, committed horrific war crimes, slaughtered his own troops because they annoyed him, etc etc
you know what i'mma tear into this movie briefly
NOSTALGIA GLASSES ARE OFF
there was a scene during Maul's first fight where qui-gon and anakin are already running to the ship
now there was actually a scene that showed qui-gon and anakin going there much less urgently before qui-gon senses something is up, and THEN they run
it's a very short scene and would have explained this minor annoyance
also the biggest problem i have with it is how they shove all the Beloved Original Trilogy characters in as fast as possible
like
okay obviously Anakin Obi-Wan Palpitoad and Yoda were necessary
and maaaaybe Jabba since he didn't really detract from anything
but
c-3po and artoo reaaally didn't need to make an appearence, even though they're not that bad even in the prequels
and 3po's origin is
well it really says it all
maul had to have dialogue edited in which is a big nono
not gonna go for low hanging fruit like Shitty Anakin and Padme Romance and Darth Darth Binks
i know that it might not make sense that obi-wan would go into tatooine instead of qui-gon since it would make more sense for the more experienced and mature of the two to enter the scummy shithive and for the less capable but still battle ready apprentice to guard the the ship and its inhabitants
but when Qui-Gon meeting anakin is more impactful than fucking Obi-Wan meeting anakin there's a problem
(also bringing jar jar)
there's plenty more but this is a long enough post so PREPARE FOR ANOTHER
WAIT WAIT one more thing
14 year old queen
doesn't work
even if both your parents die and you have no siblings there's always somebody chosen to stand in until the king or queen is of age
there's a name for that person i forget what it is
edited 2nd Jan '16 2:38:20 PM by Trip
also why are the prequel jedi all super anti-emotion in the prequels
they stressed how ana's love for padme was a big part of what drove him over the edge, and treat it as this super dangerous thing
and in general act like weird robots, more so than the actual robot C 3 P 0
was that always a thing and i just don't remember
yeah a regent
more like a reJECT amirite
anyway most of the bullshit happens in the first half so the second half just sort of festers in it
other than the fact that they turn yoda from a "wise, no-fucking-around master of the force" to a general asshole
"i love my mom"
"you're worse than Plageuis"
and also
"awful and shitty and incredibly dangerous, fear is"
"now don't let this kid be in the jedi order, i'm scared that he'll fuck us up later down the line since he's old and is able to think for himself"
granted he was right but fuck he's a hypocrite now
also the fact that it's outright canon that the jedi academy take children at such a young age that the incredibly old age of nine years is too much
which, while the sith are objectively worse, this paints the jedi in a light that's not much better, since it basically says that the jedi take children to turn them into child soldiers
granted the novels go into detail about this and say it's a choice for the babby to either join the jedi, stay with their family/planet on the condition that they don't use their powers, which is a little forceful but fair, or die
and of course joining the jedi is "superbly honerablu" so more likely than not the little shit is going anyway
but
at least there's a choice???
up until disney came at least
unless there was a line of dialogue i missed as well in which case oh well
![]()
oh yeah i forgot about that
looks like Deez Nutz has a chance somewehre in a galaxy far far away
OH OH OH
one more thing i forgot
was the greedo cameo necessary in the slightest
was greedo
a character who's entire role in A New Hope was to die and make an entirely different character look badass
who criminally enough did NOT get NEARLY enough "origin story" in the prequels
really so memorable that he had to be shown as a child to explain his backstory
it took me years to learn greedo even HAD a name
which i'll admit is dumb of me since EVERYTHING in star wars has a name
edited 2nd Jan '16 3:02:19 PM by Trip

i don't like anakin
he's coarse, moody and he gets everywhere
dead devotion