I remember during one fight scene I had Archer pull all the combatants into that pocket dimension of his. Within FSN, he does so by deploying this heatless ring of fire, which pulls in everyone who touches it.
I just think that it would've been cooler if I had described it like that. Instead I was just like "ohp, everyone's in this pocket dimension now", so in hindsight I found the scene I wrote a little underwhelming. Maybe I'm just worrying too much.
Morning, Chibi. Morning, Yukari.
edited 2nd Aug '14 10:37:29 AM by foxmccloud4387
This is just general advice, since I haven't seen much of Archer, but as far as descriptions go, it's really not a huge concern as long as you're putting in enough detail so others can figure out what's going on. If you're gonna focus on anything, though, focus on making sure your dialogue doesn't get too stiff. There's a fine line between a tense moment and a cheesy melodramatic one, and people trying to make characters sound sympathetic can easily make them sound smug by trying to have them drop "chestnuts of wisdom" that are a bit too forced. The second one happened a lot, especially with Ace.
@Chibi: What happen?
edited 2nd Aug '14 10:37:53 AM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon AlchemistWhat's an ishidden?
Also
Can we save this somehow? Because this is a super important thing that I think trips a lot of newbies up (newbies that have long since left, but still). Being from a shonen anime does not necessitate that you must talk like one, and unlike the anime you don't have a team of writers to come up with things for you to say, so you mostly just wind up coming off as a condescending tool.
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist

you fool
i will have the power
to create a new character
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI