Hello. My signal has been out all day due to local Google Fibre installation, and in addition to that, my father is furious because our computer keeps bluescreening, which is naturally my fault and not because the machine is ancient. Just like the other nine times he's accused me of breaking the computer throughout the years, even though it was eventually discovered that I wasn't responsible for any of those either. But those couldn't possibly have anything to do with this time, and he's absolutely sure I've broken it.
I know he won't apologise when the techies tell him it's because his computer is worn out. He'll just say that I could have done it like all the other times, and I'll get screamed at and called names for about thirty minutes anyway, and all of my arguments will be invalid because he pays the bills and has fed me all these years so shut up I'm right now apologise to me for overreacting and don't you dare try to escape to your room because I'll just take the door off its hinges again, you must hate me, why else would you have forgotten to throw out that old toilet paper roll you heartless bitch.
But I'm still not allowed to buy a computer with my own money.
I swear to god I'm moving out of here by October. I don't care if I won't have enough money by then and I'll be homeless, but it'll be better than this constant fucking harassment.
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon AlchemistI wouldn't say it's quite that bad. He usually doesn't hit me unless things get really heated, and he doesn't deprive me of stuff like food or clothes or whatever, and he really does have my best interests in mind. I have enough to eat and a roof over my head and all that jazz. But it gets harder and harder to appreciate that, especially now that I have the money to start buying my own food so he can stop bitching that I'm "eating his".
Just... imagine that every night someone takes you out to the nicest dinner you can possibly imagine, and the entire time you're sitting there trying to enjoy your steak, they're sitting there belittling and insulting you throughout the whole meal. You look like a bum and shouldn't be wearing something like that in a restaurant this nice, and that your table manners are attrocious. Here I am, buying you all this food, and you're too busy stuffing your face to talk with me. Well, fuck you too! See if I ever do anything nice again for you, you selfish cunt. So on and so forth, until you're in tears after every one and the whole experience has been ruined. After a while, you won't care they're footing the bill for your gourmet meals and getting nothing in return, you'd want to stand up and smack them and walk out and never eat prime rib again.
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon AlchemistUh...
That's abuse.
Sorry, I'm going to be blunt. That is psychological and emotional abuse.
If your own father treats you that way and cannot possibly fathom your own point of view, he probably... no, definitely has psychological issues.
No, I can't say that any good parent would belittle their child in that kind of... odd... dissonant way. If he's making you cry because he's constantly deriding your self worth, yeah, that's abuse.
Pretty black and white.
War is God.Yes, what Prom said. I understand that he might try to play it like he's stressed that's just how he rolls or some shit, but this is not okay at all, and you need to leave soon. Please, try to find a way out as soon as you can. I know Kansas sucks ass with that sort of thing, but there must be some venue you can use.
Fuck, it doesn't even have to be foster care. There must be something. There has to be.
edited 15th Jul '14 4:15:33 PM by MobileLeprechaun
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019I am. I'm trying to earn money to move out.
It's not worth the legal trouble, though, and definitely not worth the risk of being landed with another racist hick.
He really does want the best for me, he's just not that great at the temper thing.
edited 15th Jul '14 4:17:57 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon AlchemistThen he must have some kind of psychological issues if you're going to chalk that up as "temper".
My mother has a raging temper, and I fear her when she's angry.
You can... feel the rage in every part of her. Her tone, her face, her posturing... everything.
She sounds like a wrathful goddess when she yells.
And yet... she never does anything like that to me.
Consider that. Don't brush it under the rug.
It's a common trap for someone like that to put someone else in their place. You have a job. You're making money. You're not lazy.
War is God.Early on the court did have me in her sole custody for a month or two after this one incident, but these days she doesn't have a place of her own. During that mass job-loss thing a few years back they cut her entire department, and when the money stopped coming in she couldn't keep up with the rent. She's living with her boyfriend now, and they have a roommate too, so there wouldn't be anywhere for me to stay.
Anonymous Friend is nice, but he's a jailbird. Mostly for drugs, but his situation with his father makes mine look like the goddamn Brady Bunch (he was stealing AF's ritalin, for fuck's sake), his sister used to be a good friend of mine until she started getting into the heavy shit and I was too squeaky clean for her and her new friends, and neither my father nor I want anywhere near that mess. When he moves out, we've made plans to split rent, but he still has a year in high school left.
Still, he has my best interests in mind, and when I have the money and a car, he'll probably even help me with furniture. I think what we mostly need is a lot of space so we stop butting heads.
My father just got the computer working again when I couldn't, so therefore it must have been me. Oh goody, can't wait to see how this turns out.
edited 15th Jul '14 4:32:03 PM by GameSpazzer
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemistyeh
hold on lemme grab a link
edited 15th Jul '14 4:47:12 PM by thespacephantom
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI

Hey Lazarus
War is God.