so
im trying to sleep right cause work in the morning
but I can't sleep in my usual place because I need an alarm clock and because the prospect of waking up earlier than 9 am offends my mom so bad I have to sleep in a different room, more away from my mom's so I doesnt wake her up
now
it was going fine until my oldest brother got home from work
it was about 1:30 am and he thinks it's perfectly acceptable to start yelling about fifa alone with my other brother
so I close the door, which was kept open for reasons I don't know, and try to go back to sleep
he opens it, calls me crazy and a faggot because oh im so awful for closing the door to the room with air conditioning when he has a constant stream of cold air coming at him with his fan that he has right next to him
now he's just saying "chris's just crying because he thinks it's too loud. it's not like he doesn't have a bed upstairs" yeah because there's nothing wrong with being a loud asshole at 3 in the morning while you whine about the slightest noise when you hear a noise at 12 because you always got to bed at fucking 8 in the morning you lazy sack of fuck
TL;DR: my brother's an inconsiderate piece of shit
I live in a constant state of fear and misery.Had another long, and I mean loooong religion talk with my Mom.
Now, before you call the "Ugh" horns, this particular talk was actually kinda nice, and I found myself agreeing with her on quite a few aspects. Isn't it wonderful when your opinion of your religion is bumped up a few notches?
I got to thinking about the choice humans have of what to believe, humans debating with each other over which of their beliefs are true, and the effects that such conflict can have, and I've narrowed down my current world-view to one simple truth.
We humans can debate all we want, but when it turns into straight up condemnation, there's a problem.
Discussions over the truth of spirituality and the universe are well and good, but conflict is the root of unhappiness. Love and acceptance is the order of the world.
Now of course, we all know that if there was no hate, the world would be a much better place. But we know that that isn't happening anytime soon.
I suppose that's why religion exists, to remind us of the damage hate can do and to guide us down a path that can help better ourselves. And even those who do not agree with the spiritual ramifications of religion can follow its core values by accepting and loving others.
So I suppose the final message and truth that we should all live by, and the one God wants us to live by the most, is "don't be an asshole".
And now that I've got that little bit of writing and contemplation off my chest, we return to your regularly scheduled programming.
"Shake the dust." - Anis Mojgani

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fuck my brothers i fucking hate them fuck everything fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
I live in a constant state of fear and misery.