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WackyPancake from My computer. Since: May, 2011
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
WackyPancake from My computer. Since: May, 2011
#330103: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:33:14 PM

He vows to follow the Ten Commandments. To be fruitful and multiply. To love his neighbor. But also to obey the hundreds of less publicized rules: to avoid wearing clothes made of mixed fibers; to play a ten-string harp; to stone adulterers.

oh dear

"I like girls, but now, it's about justice."
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#330104: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:33:50 PM

this book will be fun

dead devotion
WackyPancake from My computer. Since: May, 2011
#330105: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:35:23 PM

i just hope there's a passage where he pelts a cheating person with stones and gets jail for two or three years

"I like girls, but now, it's about justice."
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#330106: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:38:21 PM

hahahahaa

dead devotion
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330107: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:39:16 PM

Does he put anyone who desecrates the rest of the Sabbath to death

War is God.
GameSpazzer The Beta Male from Against! The! Wall! Since: Jun, 2010
The Beta Male
#330108: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:39:49 PM

Does he have his wife live in a tent in the backyard when she's on her period?

MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330109: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:44:05 PM

Does he kill himself if he so much as talks back to his parents

War is God.
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#330110: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:46:18 PM

would the book exist if he did these things

dead devotion
GameSpazzer The Beta Male from Against! The! Wall! Since: Jun, 2010
The Beta Male
#330111: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:47:24 PM

The tent one maybe.

MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
Trip Since: Mar, 2012
Boxen whatever he can Since: Jan, 2013
whatever he can
#330113: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:48:35 PM

if that comes up i will laugh

dead devotion
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330114: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:49:47 PM

It's in Leviticus

Leviticus repeats several things

War is God.
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330115: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:50:35 PM

"And if a woman has a discharge, and her discharge in her flesh is blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever touches her shall be unclean until the evening."

~Leviticus 15:19

War is God.
GameSpazzer The Beta Male from Against! The! Wall! Since: Jun, 2010
The Beta Male
#330116: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:53:57 PM

Went to religious school, remember?

A lot of things are a thing.

The tents were actually pretty clean, though, so at least there's that. And they'd have you bathe a lot.

That's one of the reasons why people thought Jews were spreading the plague in the Dark Ages — there's a big emphasis on bathing for symbolic, ritual, and hygienic purposes, so in an age when everyone just sort of sat around in their own filth and threw poo out the windows, the Jews were taking baths and changing their bed straw (cutting down on fleas and rats), and they were largely the only ones not getting sick.

MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330117: Oct 17th 2014 at 1:57:13 PM

"And you shall not let any of your children pass through the fire to Molech, neither shall you profane the name of your God: I am the LORD."

~Leviticus 18:21

Well, at least now I know not to specifically sacrifice my children to an ancient Ammonite deity. Oh well, I guess I'll just sacrifice them to Cthulhu or something

Also, just a reminder, he is, in fact, the LORD

Just in case you forgot

Also, Jesus died for you

for you

FOR YOU

FOR YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH

edited 17th Oct '14 1:57:56 PM by Prometheus136

War is God.
WackyPancake from My computer. Since: May, 2011
#330118: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:00:40 PM

guys

for real now

as a christian, i must say

don't take the bible literally

it was written by people who lived a bajizillion years ago

many things have changed since then

edited 17th Oct '14 2:01:03 PM by WackyPancake

"I like girls, but now, it's about justice."
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330119: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:01:25 PM

Yes because obviously a decree to not sacrifice your children to Molech

A god that used to be worshiped in that area

is obviously metaphorical

edited 17th Oct '14 2:01:36 PM by Prometheus136

War is God.
WackyPancake from My computer. Since: May, 2011
#330120: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:02:25 PM

well i mean you sure as hell shouldn't sacrifice your children to molech

"I like girls, but now, it's about justice."
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330121: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:02:39 PM

Why not

Oh, well it only tells me to not sacrifice them to that god

so I think Cthulhu may be pretty happy

I'll go get my portable sacrificial altar and billowing dark robes

edited 17th Oct '14 2:03:22 PM by Prometheus136

War is God.
WackyPancake from My computer. Since: May, 2011
#330122: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:05:34 PM

well the bible says there is only the one god and he's the only one you should worship, so cthulhu is screwed too

they just pointed out molech in particular because he's a huge douche and sucks

edited 17th Oct '14 2:08:01 PM by WackyPancake

"I like girls, but now, it's about justice."
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330123: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:09:54 PM

yeah but Cthulhu touched me

with his tentacles

War is God.
RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#330124: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:11:03 PM

Even Philo was all about saying the Bible is largely allegory.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
Prometheus136 What's eatin' you, chief? from Yoknapatawpha County Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
What's eatin' you, chief?
#330125: Oct 17th 2014 at 2:13:54 PM

Leviticus is allegory for how people need to quit quoting Leviticus seriously because it's utterly batshit

War is God.

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