That explains everything
Space General
Sure, Link, I can give credit! Sit down here and we can talk about some financing options...
{Star Trek}** exists in large part because of Tsar Nicholas II Romanov was assassinated and I don't know how to feel about that
Fear me
My boy, this Forever War is what ALL true warriors strive FOR!
Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon! Go to Gamelon to aid him!
Sindri.
The Codex Astartes supports this maneuver.
edited 7th Nov '11 12:31:09 AM by Ailedhoo
I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok. I sleep all night and work all day.
A man and his family walk into a talent agency. The man tells the talent agent that he's got a great new family act he'd like to sell. The talent agent is naturally wary of family acts, but after come convincing by the patriarch decides to give the act a shot.
The teenage son of the family plays out a guitar solo while his younger sister does backflips and her parents who are ballroom dancing, while the family dog does tricks with a large rubber ball.
At the end of the act, the talent agent is blown away by how incredibly average the act was. Nonetheless, he asks the man "what do you call it?", and the man says "The Average Family!"
Fear me
A college student taking a test hands in his paper last. The professor refuses to take it, claiming he saw the student cheat. The student protests his innocence, and fed up, demands "Do you know who I am?"
"No."
"Do you know who I am?!"
"No, and I don't care."
"Good."
The student then shoves his paper into the middle of the pile and leaves. The professor then takes the paper out and throws it away.
-
A philosophy test asks the question, "Define courage". A student writes "This is courage" and hands in his paper. He fails the test.
edited 7th Nov '11 3:38:53 AM by Chabal2
Navy SEA Ls are always taught
1) Keep your priorities in order and 2) Know when to act without hesitation.
A Navy SEAL was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the professor suddenly flew off the platform. A booming voice entered the room. "Sorry I'm late, bro. You needed something?"
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Vyers: "How dare you mock me! I am the Dark Adonis Vy-"
Laharl: "Yeah, yeah, who cares? We heard it the first time. Now shut up and fight me already!"
This meme was invented by me, Alex Louis Armstrong, just a few minutes ago! I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
The Cake is A TRUTH!
In an anime, I'll be the Tsundere Dark Magical Girl who likes purple MY own profile is actually HERE!
The Beta Male
Your mamma's so fat, she's slightly overweight, and with a good diet and exercise plan, she could easily lose those extra pounds, so long as she sticks to it all the way through! Ohhhhhhh, snap!
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
Am I a weirdo?
Are you dense? Are you retarded or something? I'm Bruce Wayne, nice to meet you.
Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
It feels like I'm wearing really tight pants! Really tight pants! REALLY TIGHT PANTS!
*shudder* Stupid tight pants-wearing Flanders!
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Magic Prophet
Man 1: Knock knock.
Man 2: Who's there?
Man 1: Orange.
Man 2: Orange who?
(loophole for orange/orange who for 2 days)
Man 1: Orange.
Man 2: Orange who?!?!
Man 1: Orange.
Man 2: WHAT THE F*CK MAN?! THIS IS THE 20000000000103785085TH TIME YOU SAID THE SAME THING!!!!
Man 1: I just wanted an orange.
Man 2: (puts gun on own head shoots himself)
This is even more better than the original.
edited 9th Nov '11 7:57:54 PM by SquadalaGuy
"The Horn of Protection is here for you, Timmy!" - Hank the Super Cheese Loving Rhino Guard from Fairly Odd ParentsAll your bases belong to you.
I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok. I sleep all night and work all day.
Stupid Man Suit Wearer
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abraham Lincoln.
That's impossible. He was assassinated in April of 1865.
Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
icon by implodingoracle
Wanted Waluigi in Mario Kart 7? Well, there's always Mario Kart Wii, right?
Alternately, "NO WAY! I CAN BELIEVE THIS!"
edited 16th Nov '11 9:52:29 AM by Enzeru
HOORAY!
It's exactly 9,000.
http://twitter.com/raydere | http://raydere.tumblr.com
Space General
Magic Prophet
Wii U MA Dtv, Mario bro?
"The Horn of Protection is here for you, Timmy!" - Hank the Super Cheese Loving Rhino Guard from Fairly Odd Parents
So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns.
U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?"
U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is mad i shuld go hoem".
THEN WHO DROVE HER?
edited 18th Nov '11 1:10:26 AM by MrDolomite
That'ssssssss a very nice house you have there... It'd be a ssssssshame if — URK!
Free gunpowder, hooray!
she her hers hOI!!! i'm tempe
I'm on time, and there is no need to rush. I'm just going to relax and enjoy my tea.
MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist