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What if Jesus walked today in modern times?

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MarkVonLewis Since: Jun, 2010
#101: Sep 23rd 2011 at 4:54:53 PM

What would I think of Jesus in modern times? Shit, I'd want to party with that cat, man could turn water into wine. Free booze? Hell yeah, the guy would have my support so long as he kept me well supplied.

joyflower Since: Dec, 1969
#102: Sep 23rd 2011 at 4:57:52 PM

[up]Please,don't go into a drunken stupor because it would not make a first good impression for the Messiah but then again he did hang around the most unlikely people so he would enjoy your presence.

ATC Was Aliroz the Confused from The Library of Kiev Since: Sep, 2011
Was Aliroz the Confused
#103: Sep 23rd 2011 at 5:10:26 PM

If Jesus walked the earth today, he would probably live the simple life that he did anciently. A simple man, dedicated to forgiveness, love, and kindness to all, he would live with the disgraced, the sick, the poor, the cruel, and the unfortunate.

Then, as people grew to learn more about Jesus, we would become more understanding, more like him. And we would create a perfect world.

If you want any of my avatars, just Pm me I'd truly appreciate any avatar of a reptile sleeping in a Nice Hat Read Elmer Kelton books
MarkVonLewis Since: Jun, 2010
#104: Sep 23rd 2011 at 5:58:04 PM

joy: if you think I WON'T go into a drunken stupor when I have free and more or less unlimited booze, then you don't know me.

Hell I'm fairly certain I'm going to hell in two major religions and three denominations of religions.

But, it certainly would be interesting to see how people react if Jesus returns. He'd have to bust out those miracles otherwise he'd be branded someone with a mental illness and put in the looney bin.

nightwyrm_zero Since: Apr, 2010
#105: Sep 23rd 2011 at 6:17:35 PM

What if Jesus walked today in modern times?

He'd be deported for being an illegal immigrant. grin

Baff Since: Jul, 2011
#106: Sep 23rd 2011 at 6:23:35 PM

he would do a miracle.

Like his first miracle was turning water into wine... So I guess he would make a pretty spectacular entrance and would be well recieved by us alcoholics.

edited 23rd Sep '11 6:24:30 PM by Baff

I will always cherish the chance of a new beggining.
GameChainsaw The Shadows Devour You. from sunshine and rainbows! Since: Oct, 2010
The Shadows Devour You.
#107: Sep 23rd 2011 at 6:24:47 PM

If Jesus walked today he'd probably be horrified at the amount of killing in his named that has been going on over the last 2000 years.

The term "Great Man" is disturbingly interchangeable with "mass murderer" in history books.
Gannetwhale Adveho in mihi Lucifer Since: Jul, 2011
Adveho in mihi Lucifer
#108: Sep 25th 2011 at 9:01:19 AM

Or maybe not, seeing what he will do in Revelation and what he did in Mathew.

A single phrase renders Christianity a delusional cult
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#109: Sep 25th 2011 at 9:04:39 AM

He'd go to NYC and challenge people to street ball games; can you say crucifix dunk?

Gannetwhale Adveho in mihi Lucifer Since: Jul, 2011
Adveho in mihi Lucifer
#110: Sep 25th 2011 at 9:09:28 AM

I hope he uses his mouth to pick up things like he did with that sword.

edited 25th Sep '11 9:09:39 AM by Gannetwhale

A single phrase renders Christianity a delusional cult
USAF713 I changed accounts. from the United States Since: Sep, 2010
I changed accounts.
#111: Sep 25th 2011 at 9:34:55 AM

Jesus Was Way Cool, motherfuckers.

...

I am now imagining that Robot Chicken short about Kill Bunny. [lol]

I am now known as Flyboy.
Lock Space Wizard from Germany Since: Sep, 2010
Space Wizard
#112: Sep 25th 2011 at 10:03:36 AM

If I would meet Jesus of Nazareth today?

I'd probably think he suffers from a mental disorder or delusional worldview... Honestly, the character of Jesus as he is depicted in the Bible seems mildly bipolar and fluctuating regarding is viewpoint to me.

(Not trying to offend anyone.)

Programming and surgery have a lot of things in common: Don't start removing colons until you know what you're doing.
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan Since: Jan, 2010
PARTY HARD!!!!
#113: Sep 25th 2011 at 10:25:04 PM

He would be denounced as a heretic, mocked as insane, experience hatred by a large portion of the population - both religious right and secular left -, then probably be killed. Again.

Likely by Radical Christians who failed to recognize him.

:(

edited 25th Sep '11 10:25:12 PM by TheMightyAnonym

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
BlixtySlycat |like a boss| from Driving the Rad Hazard Since: Aug, 2011
|like a boss|
#114: Sep 25th 2011 at 10:34:18 PM

He'd be denounced as a madman or false prophet by all but a few, and possibly arrested as a cult leader.

Which really, is not that different than what did happen.

go ahead and do every stupid thing you can imagine
Justice4243 Writer of horse words from Portland, OR, USA Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Brony
Writer of horse words
#115: Sep 25th 2011 at 10:53:58 PM

You can’t just be arrested for “being a cult leader” (Well…not in most first world nations). You have to actually have committed a crime.

However, if Jesus goes ape-shit on some tables and starts hitting people with cord (I hope it’s an extension cord this time around) he could be jailed for assault, maybe thrown into an asylum if it seemed he needed mental help.

Justice is a joy to the godly, but it terrifies evildoers.Proverbs21:15 FimFiction account.
BlixtySlycat |like a boss| from Driving the Rad Hazard Since: Aug, 2011
|like a boss|
#116: Sep 25th 2011 at 11:07:29 PM

never mind.

edited 25th Sep '11 11:08:59 PM by BlixtySlycat

go ahead and do every stupid thing you can imagine
TheyCallMeTomu Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#117: Sep 25th 2011 at 11:51:59 PM

Aon made the post I was going to make, so I have nothing further to contribute to this thread.

HungryJoe Gristknife from Under the Tree Since: Dec, 2009
Gristknife
#118: Sep 26th 2011 at 12:37:38 AM

I recommend tracking down the story "Jesus Christ Reanimator" by Ken Mc Leod, I think it can be found in "The Best Science Fiction of the Year" from 2007 or 2008.

Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
ChristopherAlgoo Red Oni from New York City Since: Jan, 2001
Red Oni
#119: Sep 27th 2011 at 3:04:05 PM

Here's what Ivan from The Brothers Karamazov thinks would happen.

I imagine Jesus would have lots to say to his "followers". Tables will be thrown.

Those who accept their fate find happiness; those who defy it, glory.
TheyCallMeTomu Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
#120: Sep 27th 2011 at 3:32:47 PM

He'd probably just facepalm and leave without anyone having ever noticed he was here in the first place.

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