...What is it with people and using the name "Mathias". It's so awkward for me to read.
Also, just from a quick read, it seems like your Marines swear quite a bit. I don't know if this is Fantasy Flight Games fanon or Games Workshop canon, but Marines don't swear. They tend to have a more...quasi-poetic language, in keeping with their "ancient Greek play characters" thing.
edited 26th Mar '12 11:43:29 PM by math792d
Still not embarrassing enough to stan billionaires or tech companies.
Ithilion The Brave's character in our Deathwatch game is named "Mathias". It gets really bloody awkward?
Anyone: "Hey, Mathias?" Me: "Yes?" Ithilion: "Yes?" Anyone: "Not you, the DM/player."
Still not embarrassing enough to stan billionaires or tech companies.You really nail the bleakness of the fight. The Chaos Marines almost indifferent attitude towards the battle makes it seem more like a routine extermination than a battle. Makes them more intimidating how they just don't care.
Do not be so quick to make foolish offers, Daemon. Araghast too once thought I would be an asset to his cause. Look what has become of him.Just got a chance to read it Arc, I'll post comments when I'm done.
Comments:
Good imagery for the inside of the chimera.
Caught a few spelling errors. Pretty simple stuff so it didn't conflict with my understanding.
Since you have stated Elliah is part of a brigade, I should just say this. Brigades are huge. Remember that Regiments have no set numerical standard in any army,so by declaring that the 31st has a brigade means that it probably has well over 10,000 men.
Speaking of that, I'm planning on making a chart of the 85th Vendoland soon so we can get our numbers right and go back and correct any that are wrong.
I think the people from Vendoland are called Vendolanders, not Vendolands, but that may just be slang you were going for.
Heh, Colonel-Commissar.
edited 28th Mar '12 12:08:03 PM by Augustine
Read all of my fanfics!Brigades can go anywhere from four thousand to twelve thousand soldiers depending on the nation. I think the standard size for a cadian Regiment is ten thousand. However, Regiments can refer to battalion sized units or to units comprised of battalions.
The way I had it set up was that the 85th Vendoland was built out of Battalions comprised of 1200 soldiers each, with at least three Battalions.
The Artemians operate under brigade style setups, with Tullassar operating as Brigadier General, the 31st being a 4000 strong unit.
As for spelling errors, if you mean sceptical, it is the Canadian way of spelling Skeptical. My MS Word picks it up automatically so I miss it on the grammar checks.
edited 28th Mar '12 1:12:41 PM by arcsquad12
Do not be so quick to make foolish offers, Daemon. Araghast too once thought I would be an asset to his cause. Look what has become of him.
There were a few other errors. You misspelled Elliah's name wrong once and fountain once. That's all I remember.
Read all of my fanfics!The reason I'm using different unit sizes is to develop a sense of uniqueness amongst the Guardsmen. Artemian Regiments operate similar to a Division, this case a division being two 4000 man brigades.
The Artemians also make use of different armors than the Vendoland, who use the standard Cadian flak armor. The urban brigade make use of heavy alloy armor designed for shock attacks. Chimera pulls up, forty heavily armed troops debark and punch holes in fortified positions.
edited 28th Mar '12 1:29:24 PM by arcsquad12
Do not be so quick to make foolish offers, Daemon. Araghast too once thought I would be an asset to his cause. Look what has become of him.Having found this Thread, I decided to hurl myselof upon your judgments. After having read 'Chaos Child' a whim purchase from the local comicbook shop. I became enamored with the "Eldar". Following the finish of that Book. I set out to aquire a different book I'd seen "The Path of the Eldar: Path of The Warrior". Needless to say, I was delighted and bewitched all the more.
Most recently I've also read Path of the Seer and Path of the Renegade, and so the fire of fanfiction has flared within me. Before I set finger to keyboard however I wished to make some inquiries and perhaps ask where I might find relevant information...
SO!
1. Would a Warlock have licence/authority for 'independant action? It wasn't clear within the narrative but I get the feel that a measure of autonomy is afforded to Warlock's and farsees as opposed to Aspect Warriors.
2. Would craftworld Eldar tolerate working alongside a Dark Eldar i.e. an Incubus? What if pressed to do so by a Faseer or Harlequin?
3. Is there any possiblity of a Craftworld 'somewhere out there' that tolerates a human presence? I was curious if some Eldar might interpret the lessons of The Fall differently and adopt a "White Mans Burden" type of racism toward the 'lesser races'.
4. Rogue Traders, what likelyhood is there ffor there to be some who would conspire with Chaos and Dark Eldar Corsairs?
5. Eldar Wraith-guard/lord are only employed in dire need yes?
6. Lastly, Aspect Warriors can only function as full squads yes? Being singularly selected from out of different Aspects would not happen?
1. Yes, it happens. Craftworlds loan Warlocks to others and warlocks can undertake their own missions.
2. Dark Eldar, yes. Incubi are possibly less tolerated, because their training involves destroying an aspect warrior soulstone. However, contrary to what you would think, Dark Eldar and Eldar don't hate each other, and work together often.
3. I'm sure their is. Many Craftworlds don't want to attack humans if they can help it anyway.
4. Chaos: not if they want to stay out of the Inquisition's watch. They are more lenient about aliens though. Most rogue trader crews have xeno tech or crew members. An Eldar corsair would not be uncommon, nor would an ork freeboota or kroot.
5. Yes.
6. They don't need to be in squads, but if they are in squads, it needs to be with the same aspect.
Read all of my fanfics!Blood Axes have frequent trading and mercenary deals with fringe Imperial Colonies. They are smarter than average Orks, and as a result are where some of the more successful Warbosses come from.
The only way they'd work alongside a humie is probably if a humie could beat one in a fistfight however.
Do not be so quick to make foolish offers, Daemon. Araghast too once thought I would be an asset to his cause. Look what has become of him.Maybe Orks are already working with you and you don't know it!
edited 4th Apr '12 12:52:56 AM by Medinoc
"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."

Thanks!
Well, just a part of chapter 1, but enough to show Tobias arriving to scope things out.
Record 1: Recruited!
Tobias Revya did not know what he was looking at when he arrived on the strange planet. He and a squad of eight others were sent by the Chapter Master himself to investigate and see whether the strange Warp event which had occurred.
He did admit that this planet was quite refreshing looking, and a change from the devastated Baal. The mountains were apparently all massive, and there were few areas to be seen even from a distance up that were not covered in either a mountain or a hill.
It looked like, from a while up, there were some odd buildings of a certain nature, mostly ruined and left in pieces that could usually be found nearby.
There was a silent beauty to it.
The planet's appearance was a big surprise to everyone. All the warning they got was comprised of a message about a Warp Fluctuation presumably bringing a large force of the Black Legion.
At the time, Tobias was talking to a few of his younger Brothers, and joked that if it was the Legion, somehow, Dark Lord Failure would mess things up for his own side.
Hence, it came as a big surprise when a new planet entered the Baal System out of the Warp. The new worry became if gravitational fields would cause a messy event, but apparently nothing too severe had happened.
He checked a machine lent to him by the Mechanicus Priest, a surprisingly good quality of Oxygen here, balanced mixture of other compounds and molecules in the air.
This could possibly be a good place for humans to live, though the mountains and such might be troublesome for any cities or fortresses.
He checked the white stuff on the ground, condensed cold water...snow, or so he had heard. He took off his death mask helmet, deciding to take a breath before he asked his men to, and moved his hair out of his eyes with one gauntleted hand.
The air was surprisingly full, and not as thin as one would expect of a high altitude area. One strange thing to note about the place.
He definitely did not look it, but Tobias was one of the older Blood Angels. As a Sanguinary Guard, he had accepted a very high honor and responsibility.
Moving on, he and his men noted the presence of yet more pieces of old architecture. Had something happened here?
He thought he heard something scratching around in one of the former tower areas, as if something was trying to hide, though badly.
Tobias let one hand drift over to his Power Sword, held across his back and he slowly drew it. The others did likewise, keeping their weapons at the ready. More scratching, sounded like it was approaching.
A blur, something lunging from the tower across from their position toward one of the younger Blood Angels, aiming with a weapon of some sort toward the space between helmet and armor. Tobias intercepted, flying up and parrying the attack, and pushing back, sending the Xeno flying back into the snow with a bizarre splash.
It got back up, forming into what looked like an approximation of a scowling human of about twenty or so with fangs for teeth. Going by appearances, it was made of amorphous metallic sludge. For that weapon, apparently made out of the creature, to withstand a clash with his Glaive Encarmine...
It spoke in a heavily accented version of Low Gothic, “You...a human...why do you appear here...this mountain sacred place, not for cattle.”
Tobias kept a level head, and raised his Glaive again, “...So, your race thinks of humans as cattle, things to be eaten. I was gonna give you a warning to leave, but anybody with that kind of psychopathic view point needs to be taken out of the picture.”
The Xeno started circling to the side, “A mere human...talks that way? What you think you are?”
Tobias made sure to keep the thing in his sight and keep aware, despite how inwardly confused he was. That kind of body might mean any kind of attack was possible. “Mere human? Have you guys never seen a Space Marine before?”
The Xeno rushed at him as he finished his sentence, and this time Tobias moved quickly to the side, avoiding the attack entirely and the Xeno gave a wholly surprised look.
It barely had time to think on how a human might move so quickly or how a human had wings before Tobias rushed in and slashed right through its body with his Glaive Encarmine. There was something a good amount more solid in the thing that his power sword ripped through, resulting in blue blood gushing out of it.
The Xeno's body quickly melted down into nothing but the strange metallic looking fluid. Tobias kept walking, “Continuing on.” He did make a note to report the presence of a Xeno tribe in this area with unique characteristics.
One of the younger Battle Brothers present said somewhat excitedly, “T-That was amazing, Lord Revya!! I hope I can become like you one day!”
Tobias smiled a little, Laniel was recruited just a few years ago, and had proven to be fierce in the field...and yet acted like an over-excited kid whenever someone higher up did something sufficiently “awesome”.
“...Please, call me Tobias. I personally think you are proceeding well as you are, just keep going the way your going. No need to copy me.”
Laniel restrained himself from shouting in glee, and as the group continued on, they came to see a smaller hill connected to the larger snowy mountain by a land bridge of some sort.
Crossing it, and flying up to get a better look around, Tobias made note of some smoke rising up. Looked like there might be some villages or some such in the area.
edited 27th Mar '12 11:53:01 AM by NickTheSwing