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Because there's ''totally'' not enough MS Paint Adventures-esque threads around here.
You are Cowboy-Man. Due to TERRIBLE CIRCUMSTANCES, your mother accidentally named you with your horrible name. Since everybody assumes you to be a HERO, you have no choice but to go along with it.
SLAP MOTHER for naming you such a terrible name.
>SLAP MOTHER for terrible name
You would love to SLAP your MOTHER, but despite her TERRIBLE NAMING CHOICE, she did raise you and give you the best 20 YEARS of your LIFE.
Apply for name change
>Retrieve arms from magic chest
>Attempt to eat your fingers.
JUMP out nearest WINDOW.
>Apply for a NAME CHANGE
Oh how you would love to do that, but sadly, you live in a WORLD where one's NAME cannot be changed. Ever. No exception.
>Retrieve ARMS from MAGIC CHEST
You already have arms, numb nuts! Instead you retrieve the GUN from your DRAWER.
>Attempt to EAT your FINGERS
You tried that once, they didn't taste too good. Just look at what used to be your left pinky.
>JUMP out nearest WINDOW
You find the idea entertaining, but your DUMBASS INTERN locked you in your OFFICE! All you have to jump out of is a VENTILATION SHAFT.
>JUMP out of VENTILATION SHAFT
>Cowboy-Man: Contemplate the VENTILATION SHAFT.
Don't be ridiculous. That would require you to be in the shaft. You cannot go in as it is on the CEILING.
>Cowboy-Man: Contemplate the VENTILATION SHAFT
You gaze at the VENTILATION SHAFT and think heavily on how you could get up there.
Now how will you escape your office?
edited 10th Sep '11 2:11:05 PM by Rivux
>LOOK for a KEY.
edited 10th Sep '11 2:12:02 PM by Prometheus136
>Attempt to PICK LOCK on the DOOR.
>Just open the door.
>LOOK for a KEY
You wander around the room in search of a KEY, sadly, all there was in your office was your GUN which you previously picked up and then set down, a PHONE with no connection, and a PICTURE of your dear old dad who shares your SENTIMENTS of your TERRIBLE NAME.
>Attempt to PICK LOCK on DOOR
You try, but sadly, the lock isn't the kind where you can unlock with FREAKISHLY LONG FINGERNAILS. Honestly, who's dumbass idea was it to build the door with the lock on the INSIDE?
>Just open the door
To no avail, all you succeed in doing is shaking the doorknob.
>Pick up GUN
>SHOOT at the DOOR
> Be Cowboy-Woman.
> GRAB a GUN and SHOOT the LOCK.
>SHOOT at DOOR
What gun? You're sure there has never been a gun there before. Instead you pick up the KEY to your SAFE located at HOME.
You do not have GENDER-FLIPPING powers to do that! In fact, you don't have powers at all. You're just an ordinary COWBOY people mistake as a HERO.
>GRAB a GUN and SHOOT the LOCK
You wield the key like an expert. If there's one thing you know how to do, it's use a key with deadly force. Sadly, the key cannot unlock the door.
edited 25th Sep '11 10:48:58 AM by Rivux
> Notice threatening METEOR.
>Notice threatening METEOR
You can't notice a threatening meteor, you have no way to view the outside world! You're sure that threatening meteors only happen in LONG WEBCOMICS that deal with a REALITY-WARPING GAME.
Try checking inventory
> Take out LASSO
As you are behind on the times, you can only carry five things in your inventory as well as one additional item in your hat. Most people moved on to this fancy sylladex thing.
In your inventory is the KEY, a LASSO ROPE, your RING OF KEYS which include your HOUSE KEYS, CAR KEYS, AND BACK DOOR KEYS, and a BOTTLE OF APPLE JUICE. In your COWBOY HAT is three wrapped STARBURSTS.
>Take out LASSO
>HANG YOURSELF with LASSO.
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