Pick-Up Art

Women can be terribly nasty. In my experience they tend to be the much scarier and crueler of the bunch. I'd rather get decked by some guy than run into a pissed off woman with a grudge against me...

And yes...Cultural differences are quite the game changer. Learning how to deal with those is a thing. I personally have grown up surrounded by people from varying cultures so I've grown up having to learn different cultural cues to a certain extent at the least.

With some groups I've had to learn them in depth due to large exposure to them. Like Thais. I've still got more shit to learn, but I do have some things down. Including small gestures. The wai is automatic from me now.

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah

@Rott: I'd say that yes, it is effective. At a basic level, it's just understanding the social scenes you're involved in, and knowing how to behave in an effective manner.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Honestly, rather than use their methods, if I want cheap, meaningless sex I'll just wear my ACU's to a bar while on leave from the Army.

Women don't just throw themselves at all the dressed-up privates they see.

“Love is the eternal law whereby the universe was created and is ruled.” — St. Bernard

That depends on whose privates, and how they're dressed up.

Err... This is getting offtopic.

Any thoughts on my take on PUA being nothing more than knowing your scene and knowing how to act in it?

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

@DG: other than you being essentially correct, not much...except I'd add that like all other "scenes" it has attracted shall we say a very undesirable element.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I don't know, but I would think if the problem is that the pool is too shallow, making it shallower wouldn't be the answer. If that analogy makes any sense...

I am now known as Flyboy.

@USAF: As a girl who's recently(ish) been though the singles thing, I personally found it rather refreshing to find someone who wasn't pretending to be "deep", and didn't feel like he had to lie to me in order to get into my pants.

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:13:00 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

...deep? Still in high school here, so, not a clubber...

Edit: Oh, duh. I just totally failed spelling there...

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:13:31 PM by USAF713

I am now known as Flyboy.

It wasn't much different in high school, actually. There's entirely too many guys out there that view being shallow as evil without realizing that they're shallow too. I've dated entirely too many guys who pulled the whole "I'm not a jerk, I'm intelligent and sensitive!" line, only to find out that they didn't want me, they wanted some bizarro-world version of me. At least Pickup Artists are being honest both myself and themselves.

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:18:56 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Have you ever looked at the word "for" and thought "that isn't spelled right!" and then spent a really long time looking at it, putting it in Microsoft Word to spellcheck it, and denying that it is, in fact, spelled correctly?

I just did that with "deep" and thought it was a totally different word...

Bleh... I figure, I'm bad with steady relationships (proven fact) and I'd probably be worse at clubbing (I'm terrible at parties), so, I don't really worry about it...

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:21:59 PM by USAF713

I am now known as Flyboy.

Yeah, that happens when you see a word too many times or stare at it for too long. Scientifically proven to happen to just about everyone.

Yeah, but there's also a ton of people out there that could probably take a page out of the PUA's book and be better for it. At it's core, it's pretty simple stuff that guys should know if they want to work the single's scene. It's not supposed to be a magic cure for loneliness, it's more like a 12-step program for learning how to be confidant.

Edit: Frack, stupid touchpad mouse.

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:28:10 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

I'm glad I'm not drinking any Kool-Aid, because I'd have just ruined my keyboard and screen.

That makes it sound like one of those cheap infomercial ads. I can hear Billy Mays screaming how well it will work, and then it becomes some horrible alternate universe where he sells Rule 34 junk and talks about how much ass a guy can get with his product.

...

Where is my Brain Bleach?

I am now known as Flyboy.

So sue me, I work retail for a living. It's habit.

Though, on a slightly more interesting note, I do find that I apply several PUA "tactics" at work to get people to buy more stuff.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Pretty much, except I think that for many guys, it's less about "working the singles scene" in particular and more about ever getting into a romantic situation period. The big reason why there is a market for this stuff is because guys are expected to be able to socialize in ways that no one ever makes clear to them.

^^ Two things I've learned from working sales, which seem like they'd apply to PUA:

First, while it's most effective to sound sincere while using the script, sounding sincere while not using the script is better than using the script while not sounding sincere. (This is not to mean that you should avoid change—there's such a thing as self-improvement, after all—just that if you're not a convincing actor, you should keep track of what you consider your "self," whatever that may be.)

Second, not everyone thinks in the standard patterns. I myself often found that standard sales techniques left me less inclined to buy things. If you're not going to stalk someone for a long period of time, getting them to buy something is based on playing the odds—either by being the sort of person who the most people would want to buy from, or being the sort of person you're best at being and getting the people who're willing to buy from you to hook you up with like-minded friends.

edited 23rd Aug '11 10:07:57 PM by feotakahari

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

You guys have seducing people down to a science and a sales pitch...

I don't know if I should find that awe-inspiring or rather creepy...

I am now known as Flyboy.

@feo: both true, especially the second one; the great Hugh Hefner once said "the best way to get a girl interested in you is to be interested in the girl". People like to feel special, after all.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~

I find it fascinating myself, USAF. Then again I find behavior and thoughts processes in general interesting. Now if only we could learn more about what cats and whatnot think about exactly...

They dream about hunting and such...

Oh a cat that doesn't have its muscles paralyzed during REM is a fun thing to watch...

I want to know more though.

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:52:17 PM by Aondeug

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah

I'm not gonna lie, that was kind of strange.

Well, like I said, if people want to conduct themselves like this, fine by me. I just don't think I could ever do it, so, I don't really care...

I am now known as Flyboy.

@Feo: Yeah, I usually ditch the pitch and wing it too. I also find that I don't have to fake sincerity if I actually mean what I'm saying, and it probably helps that I'm usually quite genuinely interested in my customer's conversation for the five minutes that it happens.

I also find that you don't exactly have to be what they're looking for in a salesperson if you can be engaging and witty. I've upsold more people by illustrating the benefits through anecdote *

than I have by sticking to the pitch they want us to memorize *

^{Would you like to buy our extended warranty? It's blah dollars for one year and blahdeblah for two.}

.

Edit: It also helps that I don't mind bullshitting with customers even if they're not going to buy anything except what they came in for. I can be fairly conversant in a lot of subjects, and I'm generally interested in what they're doing and what they're saying, because A: People are interesting, and B: It's a good way to learn new things.

edited 23rd Aug '11 9:59:34 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

Dating Sims as Real Life? That is a little creepy, actually.

How do you define dating, then? Because of the "meaningful relationships" I had, the ones based on sex fell apart pretty quickly; the ones based on other things lasted longer.

I skipped the word "with" on my first readthrough, and went, "Well, don't meet DG at work then!"

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw

So quick read through of PUA makes this all seem like basic body language psych maneuvering they teach in middle school, but only instead the more specific male to female version?

Is that close?

Please.

You learned body language psych maneuvering in middle school?

Damn. I feel cheated now.

Somehow you know that the time is right.

I didn't either.

Here's a bunch of good seduction advice.

I think the whole "pick up artists" thing is mostly a force for good, i.e. it teaches men how to give girls more of what they like, which is win-win.

Point that somewhere else, or I'll reengage the harmonic tachyon modulator.