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IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7201: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:25:19 AM

Ugh, the mere thought makes me want to kill something.

I'm gonna go play The Sims.

Clearly, this thread isn't helping my nausea. And yes, I'm not kidding about that, I really do feel like puking, but that's got more to do with the food poisoning I appear to have gotten and less with the discussion.

I killed a few Sims and now I am back.

So, you know how all those Dragon Ball crossovers wank the Naruto universe like crazy?

Here's what happens if you drop Saiyans in the Naruto universe for realsies:

Not that you stood a chance to begin with, I'm just... Saiyan

A set of meteors had crashed not too far away from Konoha, leaving a massive crater smack dab in the middle of the Fire Country's capital. And then the capital was just gone minutes afterwards, in a brilliant flash of light it had been demolished entirely, leaving nothing behind.

Two men descended from the sky upon Konoha.

Some thought they were the wrath of the gods for their sinful way of life. Others thought they were weirdos about to be killed by Konohagakure's ninja population. Only a few had enough time to scream 'Oh shi-' before their lives were snuffed, as the larger one began indiscriminately attacking men, women and children alike with beams of light he emitted from his palms.

Far away, a third man landed in Otafuku Gai and blew up a nearby casino.

Senju Tsunade was horrified when her strongest blow only knocked him a few paces back, and he delivered one just as strong to her, followed by a brilliant flash of purple light that had removed her right arm and most of the right side of her ribcage. Shizune only felt horrified for a second, after her needles had entirely failed to pierce through the man's exposed skin, before the man moved so fast that it seemed he had teleported and separated her head from the rest of her body.

Tsunade, her seal liberated and screaming in inarticulate and incoherent rage, only lived moments longer.

The man ate their little pig, too.

Back in Konoha, elite Shinobi assaulted the two men. Or rather, the larger man, as the short one was just standing with his arms crossed and smirking as he watched his partner essentially toy with Konohagakure's strongest forces.

Hatake Kakashi readied his Raikiri, and prepared to stab through the giant mountain of muscle of a man, only to feel an intense pain as his wrist was caught right before he struck. The shorter one had yelled something in a language that sounded rough and almost guttural, and the short one had caught on to Kakashi's attack instantly.

Kakashi screamed for an instant as he felt the bones in his wrist give way, and let the black depths of unconsciousness claim him as he was struck by a large, meaty fist.

The bald, moustachio'ed mountain of muscle laughed uproariously and Maito Gai opened all eight gates to confront him. He managed to catch him by surprise with sheer speed and knock him around, hitting him with the evening elephant. As he prepared to finish with the Night Moth, though, the bald one suddenly recovered, opened his mouth and let loose a veritable torrent of energy upon Gai. Knowing that there were civilians behind him, Gai took it, knowing that with the boost given to him by the Red Steam, he could've easily dodged.

He managed to block it with his body, but all energy left his body nad he died. He did not fall, remaining frozen on his feet like a protector statue.

Sarutobi Hiruzen had decided the short one was probably the EVEN BIGGER threat, and had assaulted him from behind, bringing down Enma, as large as he could wield him, upon him. He'd struck the man's collarbone, and managed to actually make him stumble.

The third Hokage was horrified when he tried to move Enma and found the task impossible, due to the short man holding onto the other end with his gloved hand, pointing at Hiruzen with the palm of the other. The Third Hokage grit his teeth and accepted his death as it came, in the service of the village he loved. The short one continued to rub the place Hiruzen had hit him in.

The bigger one wiped his hands as he looked around himself, surrounded by the corpses of their enemies. Then they lifted into the sky and scoured the city, tapping the odd devices on their heads every once in a while, hunting down every last living being in Konohagakure no Sato. It took them the better part of the day.

The story of Konohagakure would never spread.

Soon, there was nobody around to hear it.

And the three monsters responsible never looked back upon the lives they'd ended, the planet and civilization they'd destroyed, or the dreams they'd snuffed. To them, it was just another week's work.

edited 4th Apr '14 10:36:45 AM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Soble Since: Dec, 2013
#7202: Apr 4th 2014 at 12:13:55 PM

@Karnality

My apologies, I wasn't being clear. What I meant was: why do some (several) fics use the phrase "precious people". Like, Naruto will straight up shout "DON'T TOUCH MY PRECIOUS PEOPLE!" Did he say that in a translation somewhere, because I can't recall him saying that. I recall Haku taunting him about not protecting his friends, but I don't know where this "precious people/person/the people most precious to you" motif came from.

I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7203: Apr 4th 2014 at 12:22:48 PM

IIRC, he might've said it during his speech before that fight, you know, the whole 'when you're protecting someone' stuff.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Karnality Since: Feb, 2014 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
#7204: Apr 4th 2014 at 2:29:53 PM

I....have no idea. Maybe it is fanon.

dnc Troll Logician Since: May, 2013 Relationship Status: You're a beautiful woman, probably
Troll Logician
#7205: Apr 4th 2014 at 2:56:31 PM

I'd suggest checking the Wave Arc, either the bridge battle or the part where Naruto meets a cross dressing Haku. Or the Naruto fights a giant sand tanuki bit, around the time where Sasuke gets his ass knocked unconscious. (Either slightly before or slightly after.)

This is in response to the 'precious people' bit.

OrionCK2 Since: Dec, 2013 Relationship Status: Hiding
#7206: Apr 4th 2014 at 4:26:35 PM

hm. Anybody remember the name of the Naruto fanfiction wherein he makes a passable Taijutsu style based almost entirely on dodging, slowly invents his own ninjutsus (wind based iirc) and had Gato as a big bad? I've been meaning to reread it, but searching through the entirety of fanfiction.net's naruto fanfics sounds like an exercise in masochism.

Duncan0Idaho Since: Aug, 2012
#7207: Apr 4th 2014 at 7:22:14 PM

@Orion CK 2 i think you are refering to drifting by alphadelta

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7208: Apr 4th 2014 at 7:26:04 PM

You know that mini fic I posted right there?

The following is a review I received:

Naruto characters have superior minds. Sealing can also destroy any dbz character. Naruto wins by no contest.

And I'm just laughing.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Ironypus from Australia Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#7209: Apr 4th 2014 at 7:40:14 PM

Jiraiya: Hey bald guy, can you wait a minute or two while I draw out this thingamadoo?

Nappa: Sure thing.

two minutes later

Jiraiya: Oh my, why is the continent on fire and everyone I know dead?

Nappa: Also I smudged your painting while you weren't looking.

And then Jiraiya was already dead.

doineedaname from Eastern US Since: Nov, 2010
#7210: Apr 4th 2014 at 7:50:36 PM

[up][up] Doesn't surprise me at all.

I've seen people seriously think Itachi could beat Freeza, that Naruto could detect and shot down an orbiting Star Destroyer, that they'd be able to seal the Endbringers, Siberian and Grey Boy.

It's annoying how much their abilities get exaggerated.

edited 4th Apr '14 7:52:06 PM by doineedaname

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7211: Apr 4th 2014 at 7:52:56 PM

His pen name is fuertespedos, which translates to strong farts, so I am of the opinion that it is either a troll or a 12 years old boy who should seriously not be allowed into the internet.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Ironypus from Australia Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#7212: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:01:47 PM

I could see them reasonably sealing The Siberian in some complex dimensional pocket, right up until Manton deactivates and reactivates his power and undoes all their hard work. And then they die.

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7213: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:04:06 PM

Any sealing worth a damn takes forever to do unless your name is Obito or Madara, and even then, those two only displayed the ability to instantaneously seal the Juubi into themselves and there's no indication it'd work on anything else.

So, sealing is an incredibly impractical ability in combat, for the most part.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Ironypus from Australia Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#7214: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:07:42 PM

Kushina was confident she could seal Kurama back into herself fairly instantly, but she had a lot of practice, those chains and the lore of a village of masters behind her.

[down]The seal would have to be on his own palm for it to seal them inside, and even then it seems like it has to be specially crafted for that purpose. And sealing is meant to be hard.

edited 4th Apr '14 8:12:10 PM by Ironypus

Duncan0Idaho Since: Aug, 2012
#7215: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:09:43 PM

IANCE you forgot that some seal masters such as Minato can with a simple touch imprint seals on your skin? what if some one applied a storage seal over your skin and activated it?

doineedaname from Eastern US Since: Nov, 2010
#7216: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:12:04 PM

When has a storage seal ever shown or said to be capable of that?

Night The future of warfare in UC. from Jaburo Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
The future of warfare in UC.
#7217: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:14:44 PM

[up][up]Since when was that shown to be possible?

Nous restons ici.
IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7218: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:19:45 PM

@Ironypus

And presumably, the remains of the seal that originally held Kurama in place within her to start with, as well as having, most likely, been raised with the idea of being the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki firmly implanted in her as her duty and lifelong mission.

Also, for some reason she would've died either way, but Naruto gets to live if he gets the Kyuubi injected back into him. How does that even begin to work? Fuck knows, fuck cares.

@Duncan

Minato can put a specific kind of seal with his hand in people, that being the Hiraishin seal. That, and a seal to stop people from summoning stuff. Presumably, he had to work hard to get either of those to work that way, and he had to do a long ass ritual with preparation to seal the Kyuubi in Naruto.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Duncan0Idaho Since: Aug, 2012
#7219: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:19:49 PM

@Night check back again when Minato was battling Tobi/obito he had a Hiraishin seal/mark on his skin and iirc it was from the time he attacked Konoha, if Minato can do it, who says others cannot do something similar?

as for the question regarding the storage seal,if it has not been shown it does not means it's not impossible, whatever you place on it gets sealed, now what would happen if you applied it to a human and activated it? would it seal the person or the person would be able to seal things in his own body?

@IANCE my point was if those two seals could be done why not others? and the ritual was long ass because idiot ball, Kushina could've re sealed kurama after minato got back Naruto.

I have an idea for an AU where Minato instead of sealing within himself the other half of kurama he seals it within Kushina, she gets to live and be a mom to Naruto.

edited 4th Apr '14 8:23:25 PM by Duncan0Idaho

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7220: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:24:10 PM

You know who says that nobody else can do the same?

The fact that exactly two people in the entire series have shown such an ability. Tobirama and Minato. Neither of which shows a varied usage of seals, just the Hiraishin seal.

If seals were as powerful an asset in combat as the Naruto Fan Dumb likes to pretend they are, they'd get used more often, now wouldn't they?

Here's the thing: Either they are idiots, or their abilities are more limited than you think. Either way, they're well and thoroughly fucked, just in different ways and for different reasons.

By the way, I sent him a PM where I basically explained to him why he is wrong.

Also, he is continuing with the 'Naruto characters be smart, DBZ characters be dumb!' routine and I'm just like "Bitch please".

edited 4th Apr '14 8:28:40 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Duncan0Idaho Since: Aug, 2012
#7221: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:32:04 PM

@IANCE dint we agree that everybody in the Naruto verse has a firm hold of the idiot ball? from the sage to the titular character?

You do raise a good point tho, maybe it's like that maybe it's not.

And i agree, the power levels are off the scale.

Oh and man, the guy is a troll, rookie trolls tend to adopt offensive names to provoke people, they are the Sora of the internet (.hack)

edited 4th Apr '14 8:34:12 PM by Duncan0Idaho

gwonbush Lurking Puma Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
Lurking Puma
#7222: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:33:22 PM

The Naruto cast at least has a more functioning sense of risk to reward. DBZ frequently has people risking an entire inhabited planet for a more fun fight.

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7223: Apr 4th 2014 at 8:41:56 PM

With the DBZ cast, it is, generally, intentional and in character, while the Naruto characters are not supposed to be dumb. Which is, arguably, the biggest sin. It's hard to fault Naruto for being an idiot, he's supposed to be an idiot, but Shikamaru is supposed to be a genius and he's, at best, of normal human intellect. Sasuke and Neji are described as genii, and I'd be surprised if either could tie their shoelaces without help and step by step instructions.

The specific situation I presented, though, features Vegeta, Nappa and Raditz on a routine planet-cleansing mission, which doesn't allow for the pitfalls they'd need to fall into for the Narutoverse to stand a chance, and is the most likely way for Saiyans to get introduced to the ninja world.

Because the usual one used (Naruto/Kushina/Minato is a saiyan sent as a baby) wouldn't work due to the fact that the Ninja world would not be considered a 'weak' world as they've got a lot of fighters of some power, which means that if they sent a baby, it'd probably be killed before it was able to do jack.

edited 4th Apr '14 8:46:07 PM by IAmNotCreativeEnough

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari
Hyp3rB14d3 Since: Jan, 2001
#7224: Apr 4th 2014 at 9:08:36 PM

I'm pretty sure Sasuke had weapons sealed onto his skin during the Itachi fight. No, wait, that was genjutsu. Never mind.

IAmNotCreativeEnough himitsu keisatsu from asa kara ban made omae o miru Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer
himitsu keisatsu
#7225: Apr 4th 2014 at 9:41:59 PM

Even then, that's just tattooing a seal onto your skin.

Just because you've got a storage seal on you doesn't mean you're gonna be able to store a person in it. If it were that ridiculously easy, then it would be done.

himitsu keisatsu seifu chokuzoku kokka hoanbu na no da himitsu keisatsu yami ni magireru supai katsudou torishimari

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