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What if you were a dictator?

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Rottweiler Dog and Pony Show from Portland, Oregon Since: Dec, 2009
Dog and Pony Show
#51: Jul 6th 2011 at 5:47:42 PM

@Loid: Iron Crown >> iron fist

“Love is the eternal law whereby the universe was created and is ruled.” — St. Bernard
Loid from Eastern Standard Time Since: Jun, 2011
#52: Jul 6th 2011 at 5:59:34 PM

Titanium fist > Iron crown

"Dr. Strangeloid, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Cleanlink" - thespacephantom
MilosStefanovic Decemberist from White City, Ruritania Since: Oct, 2010
Decemberist
#53: Jul 6th 2011 at 6:02:01 PM

Adamantium mecha > Titanium fist

The sin of silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
Nornagest Since: Jan, 2001
#54: Jul 6th 2011 at 6:06:16 PM

I expect I'd start with good intentions and announce ambitious plans to improve the economy and restructure the bureaucratic establishment. I'd grant key positions in my cabinet to people who'd proven themselves capable and trustworthy in my eyes during my rise to power, and reform the legislature with an eye towards getting things done without interference from the corrupt, entrenched politicians in the opposition. I'd roll out plans to educate the public on important points of my platform and political philosophy, and to publicize the ugly truth about my predecessors and their foreign allies. I'd grant resource rights to proven companies in the region, and launch diplomatic missions to ingratiate my new government with the big international players.

I'd have to keep the military happy, of course — they were vital to my revolution, and anyway there'd be plenty of predatory regional powers looking to exploit any perceived weakness. And the people I'd kicked out of office, or their allies, would still be trying to cause problems, so I'd better invest in a strong police force and grant internal security some emergency powers — only as long as it was absolutely necessary, of course.

Twenty years later, after the economy had collapsed and a warrant for my arrest on human rights grounds had been issued by the International Criminal Court, I'd still think I'd been right all along.

edited 6th Jul '11 6:08:02 PM by Nornagest

I will keep my soul in a place out of sight, Far off, where the pulse of it is not heard.
Kinkajou I'm Only Sleeping Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Hiding
I'm Only Sleeping
#55: Jul 6th 2011 at 6:06:56 PM

Declare myself monarch (far cooler than being President for Life), set up a Parliament, devolve powers to said parliament whilst keeping check and balance powers.

Basically what Napoleon III was doing before the Germans wrecked it. [lol]

INT is knowing a tomato is a fruit. WIS is knowing it doesn't belong in a fruit salad. CHA is convincing people that it does.
pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#56: Jul 6th 2011 at 6:08:28 PM

No more soccer. Ever.

Times eleventy-billion. I suppose most of the other sports can probably stay but football can go die in a fire.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
Artemis92 Cogito Gratia Cogitan from contemplation Since: Dec, 2009
Cogito Gratia Cogitan
#57: Jul 6th 2011 at 8:31:19 PM

First thing would to make schools, colleges, etc stop forcing people to try and learn shit that they're guaranteed not to have to think about for the rest of their lives. They'd still be able to teach it, but only to people who've already decided that their career is going to depend on it, like architecture and physics and so forth. After that, just generally look for objectively stupid laws and get rid of them.

When I felt I'd removed just about everything stupid that I was going to find, I'd set my self up for life and turn everything over to Tailsteak, and maybe a few other people who I consider saner than the average government.

edited 6th Jul '11 8:32:33 PM by Artemis92

Ponders too much; thinks too little. Currently goes by Knowlessman.
TheMightyAnonym PARTY HARD!!!! from Pony Chan Since: Jan, 2010
PARTY HARD!!!!
#58: Jul 6th 2011 at 8:49:47 PM

I would instill a better form of government, or at least work myself out of the system into a figurehead, because there is no way in hell that any one human being can possibly make a decent society as a dictator.

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
captainbrass2 from the United Kingdom Since: Mar, 2011
#59: Jul 7th 2011 at 11:07:09 AM

Build a massive palace like Versailles and hang around there in the most over-the-top and expensive threads money can buy, probably with a harem of women, a huge wig and a lot of art. Well, it worked for Louis XIV...

"Well, it's a lifestyle"
goodisgood BWAH-HA-HA! from from a high horse Since: May, 2011 Relationship Status: All is for my lord
BWAH-HA-HA!
#60: Oct 11th 2011 at 7:01:22 PM

Hmmmmm....

First I'd, probably re-route a significant amount of government spending from military efforts to scientific pursuits and medical care (which would be government run). Then I'd make universal reforms in the education system, requiring higher scores to move on to the next grade, with financial benifits (perhaps scholarship grants) to those who pass onto the next grade at the first attempt. School year-round, as well. No child left behind. I mean it evil grin

I'd probably get rid of currency/capital as we know it as my master stroke. There'd still be markets and stores, but the amount that you can withdraw would be dependant on the hours you put into work. I'd be sure to set up a multiplier as far as the hours worked/stuff bough ratio went, taking family sizes, age, health, and disablities into consideration.

I'd allow elections for leader, but install a constitution with tenets that could'nt be denied by any of them, as to preserve the core ideals of the society.

To the law and for the good of man. All I need to live by.
Zersk o-o from Columbia District, BNA Since: May, 2010
o-o
#61: Oct 11th 2011 at 7:01:45 PM

I would dictate things, obviously.

ᐅᖃᐅᓯᖅ ᐊᑕᐅᓯᖅ ᓈᒻᒪᔪᐃᑦᑐᖅ
djmaca Secret Character from Philippines Since: Apr, 2010
Secret Character
#62: Oct 11th 2011 at 8:26:09 PM

If I were a dictator, I'll dictate anything that need to be dictated. Like those umpires in a tennis match.

...a little brother should belong to his older sister, right? - Orimura Chifuyu
USAF713 I changed accounts. from the United States Since: Sep, 2010
I changed accounts.
#63: Oct 11th 2011 at 9:38:56 PM

Stuff would get done. Or else.

/thread

I am now known as Flyboy.
annebeeche watching down on us from by the long tidal river Since: Nov, 2010
watching down on us
#64: Oct 11th 2011 at 10:12:09 PM

I'd mostly do things like fund a historical reenactment society (and participate in it), as well as fund anything else devoted to research and knowledge of all kinds. Build living history museums. Support all culture and language revival and preservation programs, and see to it that the children of the nation be exposed to a wide variety of art and literature.

As for serious nation-ruling responsibilities? I'm not prepared for that sort of thing and would need a team of people who actually know what they are doing to help me out.

Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
Kino Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: Californicating
#65: Oct 12th 2011 at 4:30:57 AM

Create some new laws, tweak some existing ones, deal with certain groups of people, get shit done; the usual.

Aondeug Oh My from Our Dreams Since: Jun, 2009
Oh My
#66: Oct 12th 2011 at 9:09:01 AM

I would do this as I said earlier in the thread.

To add to my glorious plans I will declare the guinea pig the sacred animal of our state. Guinea pigs will be raised in great guinea pig farms and treated with respect for they are our primary source for meat and sacrificial offerings. Should I find that one of the farms is not treating their guinea pigs properly they will find their homes burned to the ground by my armies of Centurions and other fancily named soldierly peoples.

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
Cookoo I need more bird puns. from A Cuckoo clock Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
I need more bird puns.
#67: Oct 13th 2011 at 2:07:13 PM

I would first pass a law that anyone that is corrupt (as chosen by me) gets stabbed in the face. Anyone only slightly corrupt gets punched in the face instead. I would then get rid of any stupid laws, then try my best to get the public to like me (possibly by having votes on laws, but it needs to be ultimately decided by me). Then I would inevitably get assassinated because I banned cheese for no good reason or something.

Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#68: Oct 20th 2012 at 4:53:01 AM

I would institute libertarianism. The American, ultra-capitalist kind. Then I would remove myself from power, sit back, and watch.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
TheHandle United Earth from Stockholm Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
United Earth
#70: Oct 20th 2012 at 5:17:32 AM

[up]In a modern context, that's just cheesy. Also, the Science Is Bad undertones are kind of a Discredited Trope.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Talby Since: Jun, 2009
#71: Oct 20th 2012 at 5:30:07 AM

Give the guy a break, it was his first talkie.tongue The basic message of anti-totalitarianism still rings true.

MorwenEdhelwen Aussie Tolkien freak from Sydney, Australia Since: Jul, 2012
Aussie Tolkien freak
#72: Oct 20th 2012 at 5:33:53 AM

I'd become a "better version" of a "Fulgencio Batista"' type. I'd try to be as un-corrupt as possible and make things good in my country.

The road goes ever on. -Tolkien
MrMallard Since: Oct, 2010
#73: Oct 20th 2012 at 5:48:32 AM

Public executions for criminals. Free internet for everybody else.

TamH70 Since: Nov, 2011 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
#74: Oct 20th 2012 at 5:59:30 AM

I would tell you but I would have to kill you when I took power.

NESgamer190 Since: Sep, 2012
#75: Oct 20th 2012 at 6:25:22 AM

If I had become a dictator, I'd have quickly looked for another person to take the helm! We all know that 99/100 times, the dictator will be overthrown or otherwise in a nasty end. Let's just say I intend to avert that!


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