http://www.dumb-out.net/study-finds-rising-rates-non-martial-births-cohabiting-women/3622
Mom invents app that shuts down kid's cell phone if they ignore her too much
This is pretty cool. And most parents will use this responsibly probably.
It just blows my mind because I didn't have my own cell phone until I was 18 and bought it myself with my own plan, let alone anything else.
"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszurhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/04/german-ad-celebrates-supportive-dad_n_5766182.html?cps=gravity
This is Wonderful! Er ist Wunderbar!
Why kids aren't ready for school
. Shockingly, a large part of it boils down to how much time parents spend with their children and what they spend their time doing with them. Half of kids arrive unprepared to learn things like the alphabet and counting to 20.
My thoughts on this:
1) Too many people involved with children's direct care aren't on the same page. Even in cases where the parents are still in a relationship and cohabiting, I've noticed that due to economic pressures, that kid can be with as many as 4 or 5 different caregivers (including parents) who all seem to have different rules or priorities when the child is with them. You have to get everyone on the same game plan: We're going to talk to them like this. We are going to challenge them to do this. These activities are permitted or barred. And they have got to stick to it.
If grandma keeps talking to the kid like they're a baby and only giving them toddler level stimulation when they're supposed to be on a pre-K level, it will show. Kids are made to play and have fun. This often means kids are lazy and will take the easier, more fun way even if it's not in their best interest. The adults need to be adults, not friends.
2) People often underestimate how smart children actually are. KIDS NOTICE EVERYTHING! They just don't have the experience to always process what they are observing correctly. This can lead to very troubling situations and false education for the kid. For example, you're already stressed and you come home, your kid is trying to show you something as soon as you come into the door because children are like puppies and have no concept of time. You've been away a thousand years and now you're home you're automatically theirs. You're not even in the door all the way, you've got a headache, work was crap, and you just really need to get to some pain medication to make it stop hurting. You're short with your kid, tell them not now, and storm around them.
They can't see your sick. It's a headache. They don't understand that you need a moment to recoup. They don't get that work sucked. All they see is caregiver told them no and is showing signs of frustration. They can easily think it's their fault while most of us older adults can see it's just a headache and be sympathetic.
What is obvious to adults is often a great new mystery to children and they will fill in the gaps with their limited experience to solve that mystery. Caregivers need to respect this and help guide them to make correct perspectives.
3) If you think your kid has a problem, get them checked out then go with it. A lot of parents I have encountered "think" their child is "on the spectrum" or that they're having trouble adapting, whatever. No. You're a moron. Either your child is normal or your child has a condition and it's your duty as a caregiver to give the damn care and have them properly evaluated. If they do have a condition, you need to set up a game plan early to help them have the best advantage possible. If they don't have a condition, you at least know and the professionals can give you proper advice on how to deal with the situation.
There is also nothing wrong with a second opinion or having them reevaluated in a year. If your 1 year old is showing problems with a certain color, and the doctor says their eyes are fine, okay. But if a year later your 2 year old is still showing problems with the same color, or now new colors, take them back to both the eye doctor and a counselor. Sometimes kids have to grow a bit before we can conclusively tell they're having an issue.
4) Kids can only learn what you expose them to.
If you only give your kid baby books, talk to them like a drooling neanderthal, and never take them out lest they get sick or act unruly, you're not challenging that child's learning. You're keeping them stunted and stupid. I don't expect everyone to start reading their babies Stephen Hawking but don't talk to them in rhymes and gaga noises then wonder why they sound like a moron in pre-K while the rest of their classmates are speaking in sentences. The train makes a choo choo sound. It is not a choo choo. A toddler can say, "Cup Please" instead of "UUUHHH" with pointing. Make them say, "Cup" "Dog" "Bear", don't just let them make noise and grunt.
You would be surprised how early a kid can understand "Show me". Then when they show you, tell them the word and then give it to them. Many people forget that step.
"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszur(Apologise in advance for syntax in following post. Still getting over nasty shock and unable to use pronouns for self. Is weird mental tic. Am talking about own daughter.)
Daughter is very quick learner. Takes after her dad, going by what was told by own parents. Seems to be doing things roughly six months ahead of the average. She is trying new words buy has trouble forming the letters, s everything new just ends up coming out as a weird variation on 'daddy', because that's what she falls back on if the new word is too hard. Am teaching her about wife's tropical fish. They are 'defziss'. Wife is 'Madaddy'. One word she has got figured out is 'teddy'.
Want her to be raised same way as self; lots of support and encouragement but freedom to pursue own interests, too. Was able to count and read long before started school, so guess it worked.
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'One year and one month today.
Sorry, I've got myself sorted now. I meant to say that I was able to read before school. I hope to have her numerate and literate before she goes, too.
We're lucky, I suppose, in that with our jobs one of us is able to be with her almost around the clock, though she visits her grandparents with me most evenings, as I'm on call.
edited 29th Sep '14 8:11:10 AM by InverurieJones
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'Well, at that age, you basically have zero control over what she can learn and how quickly. "Teaching" an infant is more about exposing them to various stimuli and discovering what they find engaging. Let her play with lots of new things, invent new games, create surprising outcomes for her, and forget about concrete goals like reading. At this point it's more important for her brain to grow, and if she finds the process of exploring and discovering to be fun she'll take it from there.
I'm done trying to sound smart. "Clear" is the new smart.Yeah, at this point we're just trying to introduce her to as much stuff as possible. Books that play music when you poke buttons are her current favourite thing. I have to admit to being both surprised and impressed by how interested she is in everythng around her. It's amazng to watch.
edited 29th Sep '14 8:26:51 AM by InverurieJones
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'My son was asked how I show that I love him or care about him. The first thing out of his mouth without hesitation was, "She respects me." He continued with a flood of other positive things I do including that I love him more than anything and that I will never lie to him. But I am just very grateful that respect was the first thing out of his mouth.
After all the issues I have had with him it was an encouraging and much needed assurance that "Yes Gabrael, you're getting something right. And at least it's an important something."
As Paton Oswald and Louis CK have so aptly put it, you will fuck up as a parent. It's only a matter of time and degree. So far at least, I am not doing too horrible.
"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - AszurCongrats Bear! Hopefully your son will continue to make progress. I also hope that this release will allow him to move to a position where he can be empowered to overcome his paternal family's projections and eventually stand up to them and insist on his needs.
"Oh wait. She doesn't have a... Forget what I said, don't catch the preggo. Just wear her hat." - Question MarcSexualizing little girls, beginning with pre-K clothing.
Jeebuz I am grateful I have a boy. But I know many of my friends with girls who buy them "boy clothes" mainly due to these problems.
"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - AszurMoney is the kicker. The more money you can spend the more options you have.
The shop this mother was referencing is called Target. Target, Khol's, JC Penny, Belks, these are all upper middle class stores that carry name brands. Target is the least expensive when it comes to nonsale items, but it's easy to spend say, $15 for a pair of pants/shorts and $10 for a shirt for kids.
Walmart is a little cheaper with shirts from $7 and up and pants for about $12 and up.
I rely on hand me downs and thrift stores for clothes for myself and my son. Honestly, I think I have an easier time finding nonsexualized clothing or otherwise inappropriate because there are more brands and varieties at these second hand stores. In the department stores, there isn't a lot of style difference. All the pants are going to be a certain way, just the embellishments will be a little different.
The Thrift stores on the other hand, have whatever is donated to them. So I can find all sorts of things.
Adult women's clothes aren't much better at the stores. Men's pants are sold with the waist and the inseam labeled as well as a size, like 32x30 wide leg. So you have a good idea how it's going to fit regardless of the brand. Women's on the other hand doesn't use measurements so what is a medium jeans in one brand may not be the same in another despite both being the same number.
edited 3rd Oct '14 12:47:41 PM by Gabrael
"Psssh. Even if you could catch a miracle on a picture any person would probably delete it to make space for more porn." - Aszur

So, I was woken by the doorbell this morning, about fifteen minutes before my alarm went off ...
... by the police, wanting to know why my two year old was running around the street chasing a neighbor's cat all by himself.
He's run out the door a few times by himself, but normally when he wakes up first he harasses his brothers until they also get up, or he plays with legos.
That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw