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Well, Cygan was wondering why there wasn't one, so I made it. I guess we can talk about queer stuff. :3

(*LGBTQ+ Solidarity huggles*)

Oh, and if you're wondering, non-queer folks are welcome too.

Edited by GastonRabbit on Dec 1st 2023 at 12:49:01 PM

Deadbeatloser22 from Disappeared by Space Magic (Great Old One) Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
#228176: Aug 16th 2018 at 4:39:44 AM

And I'm still trying to figure out how to not look so blatantly unpassable on camera since I'm moving forward with getting my twitch stuff set up.

Like I actually have lights and stuff on order for it and everything.

Edited by Deadbeatloser22 on Aug 16th 2018 at 12:42:28 PM

"Yup. That tasted purple."
Bisected8 A casual tief of punk from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
A casual tief of punk
#228177: Aug 16th 2018 at 5:16:46 AM

Gratulations, Voidy! waii

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
Grafite Since: Apr, 2016 Relationship Status: Less than three
#228178: Aug 16th 2018 at 7:16:17 AM

Meanwhile I'm still queer as fuck and hope to come out to my mom as nonbinary in a couple months when we have our local pride parade.

I wish I could (come out as gay), but after a family conversation where some awful comments about homosexuality were brought up, I'm not even sure I would want my mom to know about any relationship, knowing how she really would be feeling about me and my partner.

Life is unfair...
MvflG [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_RiXBxNA4E ce from Jakarta Kota railway station Since: Aug, 2017 Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
#228179: Aug 24th 2018 at 12:55:43 AM

That's a big mood right there. My parents once gave me an hour-long lecture about homosexuality being like cancer when I was in 8th grade. That... kinda traumatised me somewhat to this day.

I'm no longer a forumgoer. Please contact me through Discord instead.
Grafite Since: Apr, 2016 Relationship Status: Less than three
#228180: Aug 24th 2018 at 1:19:56 PM

[up] Sorry. Even while hearing some bigoted things, I never got the old "homosexuality is a disease", a mentality which I thought had been long discarded, if only because the scientific community rejected it way back when.

Life is unfair...
Deadbeatloser22 from Disappeared by Space Magic (Great Old One) Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
#228181: Aug 25th 2018 at 11:20:07 AM

In kind of a mopey mood about everything stalling out and trying to find an actual constructive outlet.

Don't know where to start.

...Fuck.

"Yup. That tasted purple."
kegisak Element of Class Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
Element of Class
#228182: Aug 29th 2018 at 8:24:34 PM

So... bit of an odd thing to bring up, but for the past week or so I've been kicking around a story idea. It's a romance, and I have most of the ideas settled, but I'm not quite sure how I want to end it. I figured I would bring it up here since it runs a lot of gender themes, and that's something I have... somewhat limited personal experience on? So I figured maybe some people here would have a more personal thoughts on the ending.

So the core premise of the story is that the protagonist was, for whatever reason, born with moderate shapeshifting powers. I have some ideas how to justify that, but I might not even bother—stuff like The Time Traveler's Wife can get away with random magic, after all.

Anyways, the protagonist's powers aren't really enough to change their appearance significantly—they can sort of become 'themselves but different'. Shrinking, growing, softening or hardening features, etc. The furthest extent of the power is that they're able to change their physical sex with relative ease.

The protagonist starts a relationship with a guy and lets him in on the secret fairly quickly (Since they met as both guys first, the protagonist felt bad about possibly misleading a guy who knew them in multiple ways). It proceeds well for a while, but the longer it goes on the more a hitch is apparent: The guy in question is dead straight. The protagonist was born with their powers and has a gender identity that encompasses both sexes, and wouldn't feel comfortable remaining female on anything resembling a permanent basis, but the guy just... isn't attracted to the protagonist as a male. They can be close friends, the sexual vibe just isn't there.

So all of that I feel relatively solid on, but I'm not sure how to ultimately resolve it. As I can think of it now, I see two significant possibilities:

A) The love interest realizes he does love the protagonist as a man—just not sexually. He still cares deeply about him and realizes that the protagonist never really 'switched'. He was always the same person the love interest fell in love with at the core, he just looked different. Nobody loves every single thing about their partner in the exact same way to the exact same degree, but what's important is that the caring is still there. They resolve that, even if the relationship is difficult, they can make things work out.

B) They struggle with it for a while, but eventually come to the conclusion that the relationship isn't going to work out, and resolve to end it before it damages what they do have. The protagonist deserves someone who can love all of what they are, and there are people out there who fit that bill. It might take some time to find, but in the meantime that protagonist has friends—and 'friend' isn't a runner-up for 'lover', after all. They agree to take some time apart to let things resolve, but eventually get back together as friends.

I think that both possibilities have their merits, both in terms of narrative and in terms of overall themes. For A) I like the idea of 'You don't have to love them 100%, 100% of the time, and I think that's applicable for a lot of relationships, but I also worry that it feels kind of like encouraging to 'settle'?

On the other hand B) kind of goes the complete opposite route at first glance, I'm worried that the message of "Everyone deserves someone who can love all of them" might read instead as "Don't give up until you find someone who's absolutely perfect", which is an unhealthy attitude. But, I also really like the idea of 'friendship is not a runner-up', enough so that I may find somewhere else to use it if I don't wind up pursuing that option.

But yeah, I guess I just wanted to get the opinions of someone who might have experience with dating, or being, a person with a broader or unusual gender identity. Do either of those endings jump out as feeling better for you? Do they, or anything built into the plot up to that point, feel like they have any issues with how they're presented?

Birthright: an original web novel about Dragons, the Burdens of Leadership, and Mangoes.
NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#228183: Aug 30th 2018 at 1:23:13 AM

So uh...

...I just don't even know any more.

I'm mostly straight, definitely into women...there's just this one, exactly one guy I'm into. People who've been to the LEO thread on here will remember him as the guy who's currently becoming a police officer.

So am I bisexual? I still think of myself as straight...should I add an -ish in there?

It confuses me - I've thought of experimenting (I am in college after all), but that doesn't seem like something that'll work.

I feel sexual desire for women...and my bro. That's all.

Can any of you help me figure this out?

Edited by NickTheSwing on Aug 30th 2018 at 1:28:03 AM

wingedcatgirl mys. minty from the silly dimension from lurking (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Oh my word! I'm gay!
mys. minty from the silly dimension
#228184: Aug 30th 2018 at 5:26:06 AM

It is possible you're bisexual. The word doesn't require you to be equally attracted to men and women.

It's also possible you're straight with an exception.

It's also also possible that you're just complicated.

The thing about labels is that they're tools — they're supposed to serve you, not the other way around.

Suddenly I'm... still rotating Fallen London in my mind even though I've stopped actively playing it.
Coleman Since: May, 2016
#228185: Aug 30th 2018 at 6:54:15 AM

Kegisak I'm not too sure about said situations but typically the people in writer's block are good at helping some. But I have in fact "dated" who I assumed was a tomboy but was actually a transman, and eventually I found myself in his friend's table.

Edited by Coleman on Aug 30th 2018 at 8:57:08 AM

Hi
sgamer82 Since: Jan, 2001
#228186: Aug 30th 2018 at 8:02:00 AM

Now that you mention it, there's even a Advice For Writing Gay Characters thread that may be just what you're aiming for.

Bisected8 A casual tief of punk from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
A casual tief of punk
#228187: Aug 30th 2018 at 8:07:54 AM

One month on Gozerelin (T blocker)! I had my second dose injected this morning!

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
Deadbeatloser22 from Disappeared by Space Magic (Great Old One) Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
#228188: Aug 30th 2018 at 8:33:46 AM

-hugs-

Trying to figure out how best to use the year or so I have to go in order to keep things moving.

"Yup. That tasted purple."
NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#228189: Aug 30th 2018 at 5:41:44 PM

Thanks - I was really tying myself into knots over labels, and honestly I'm kind of relieved now.

I'm training to be a bodybuilder, so there is a lot of homoeroticism in my sport, though perhaps the more correct term is "voyeurism of the male form".

Grafite Since: Apr, 2016 Relationship Status: Less than three
#228190: Aug 31st 2018 at 6:18:28 PM

[up] If it helps, I think most non-straight people go through a phase where they're not sure what exactly they are and what LGBT+ label better fits them, but eventually get there. For me, it was realising my romantic interest for girls was only me trying to have what happens in every movie and TV show, but which wasn't really what I wanted.

Life is unfair...
NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#228191: Sep 1st 2018 at 12:32:16 AM

[up] Yeah I think I'll settle with being "straight-ish, but gay-friendly". I'm very open to providing fanservice to gay and bi guys watching me, as well as straight and bi girls.

As far as my sexuality goes, appearance seems to play a large part. I'm attracted to my bro because he's an even better example of muscular male beauty than me, and on top of that he's cool and helpful.

kegisak Element of Class Since: Feb, 2011 Relationship Status: In Lesbians with you
Element of Class
#228192: Sep 6th 2018 at 9:46:35 PM

So I uh. Bought some nail polish today and wore it for the evening.

I've been having thoughts about gender and stuff lately. I've never really felt like it was a matter of being transgendered, because the majority of the time I enjoy being masculine, but I've always kind of felt like being one thing was kind of limiting... and given that I'm 6'3", two feet wide across the chest, and covered from head to toe in hair, I fit fairly well into a specific category, and not so well into any others.

And after this evening I'm more sure than ever that I am still a man... but I enjoyed it. Quite a bit actually. I think it's less a gender thing and more a "It's unfair that I always have to be the tough dominant one" (With a smattering of "It's unfair that men's options for fashion are more limited). It was nice to break out of that lot and do something that made me feel smaller and nicer. I felt like it made my fingers look slimmer, and how sausage-y my fingers are has always kind of irked me.

I've not completely overlooked the notion that it might be a matter of... drifting gender (Or at least expression), but I think for the time being I'm happy just experimenting with makeup and fashion a bit.

(Though nail polish and nail polish remover smell like death and hooch, holy shit. Does all makeup smell that bad?)

Birthright: an original web novel about Dragons, the Burdens of Leadership, and Mangoes.
marcen12 Sigh from Under The Floorboards (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
Sigh
#228193: Sep 6th 2018 at 10:00:46 PM

It doesn't change who you are, if you like nail polish. I wear black nail polish all the time. You're gonna do fine.

You may want to look around for those that don't smell. It may cost a pretty penny but it'll last long and it'll be worth it.

https://youtu.be/_1F5HhUvFbM?si=csgwerqELcG6615q
TParadox Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: The captain of her heart
#228194: Sep 7th 2018 at 3:01:03 AM

You could try out "gender nonconforming", or I think that "transvestite" has an important distinction from transgender but has been forgotten since the latter entered the public consciousness.

Fresh-eyed movie blog
Deadbeatloser22 from Disappeared by Space Magic (Great Old One) Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
#228195: Sep 7th 2018 at 3:08:38 AM

Aaand I'm pretty sure I can tell today is not going to be fun just from how everything feels as I sit here.

Wonderful.

"Yup. That tasted purple."
Bisected8 A casual tief of punk from Her Hackette Cave (Primordial Chaos) Relationship Status: Arm chopping is not a love language!
A casual tief of punk
#228196: Sep 7th 2018 at 6:08:34 AM

[up][up] Transvestite is an older (and slightly offensive, since it's heavily medicalised) word for a cross-dresser or drag queen (historically there was less of a distinction between drag* and being trans; hence many prominent trans figures used the term for themselves).

*It didn't even exclusively become a type of performance until non-trans LGBT people started aping the mannerisms of trans women, but that's a rant for another day.

TV Tropes's No. 1 bread themed lesbian. she/her, fae/faer
TParadox Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: The captain of her heart
#228197: Sep 7th 2018 at 6:57:44 PM

To my mind, "cross-dressing" is more reductive than "transvestite", and "drag king/queen" is specifically about performance, rather than personal habits, but if it's considered offensive, I'll change my vocabulary.

The fact that it was historically confused with transgender identity (and homosexuality was also muddled in there) is specifically why I think that the emergence of transgender awareness has caused the practice to be undervalued as a label of self-expression. Notably, comedian Will Franken thought his interest in wearing feminine clothing meant he was a trans woman, but after publicly transitioning, he realized he just liked wearing feminine clothing, and then had to publicly retract his transition.

Fresh-eyed movie blog
Deadbeatloser22 from Disappeared by Space Magic (Great Old One) Relationship Status: Tsundere'ing
#228198: Sep 8th 2018 at 12:47:32 AM

And this is before we get into the casual transphobia that keeps leaking out of the drag community.

"Yup. That tasted purple."
AzurePaladin She/Her Pronouns from Forest of Magic Since: Apr, 2018 Relationship Status: Mu
She/Her Pronouns
#228199: Sep 10th 2018 at 6:41:56 PM

Uh, Hi there guys.

I'm Azure, I guess. I'm Trans, She/her pronouns. I've been lurking here for a couple years now, finally got around to using my account. I thought I'd stop in, say hello, introduce myself.

Uh, not to sound creepy, but I've already got a general idea of who you guys are, as I've been in and out of this thread for the longest time. (^_^;; I've just been invisible.

So, uh, this has been that. I guess I'll pop in and out intermittently.

Thank you for listening!

The awful things he says and does are burned into our cultural consciousness like a CRT display left on the same picture too long. -Fighteer
phantom1 Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Chocolate!

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