TVTropes Now available in the app store!
Open

Follow TV Tropes

Following

Mythril Aces: Aeris Gaiden

Go To

Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#576: Jun 10th 2011 at 9:32:09 PM

Four Terrans, a Lunarian and a Midgarran walked into a bar...

edited 10th Jun '11 10:00:39 PM by Fauxlosophe

rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#577: Jun 10th 2011 at 11:10:31 PM

" Don't try to get me in on this bet, Lil." Calvin answered as they entered the bar. " I know how this goes, first it's "let's take a shot", then it's "let's have a drinking contest", and it all ends with me riding a cow away from a half-demolished police station, wearing only my underwear and a pair of handcuffs, being chased by angry hicks with gardening implements." He pointed a finger at her. " I'm on to you."

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
Parable Since: Aug, 2009
#578: Jun 10th 2011 at 11:20:13 PM

Phil listened to Calvin's little rant on the effects of alcohol. He walked up to the bar tender and jerked his thumb towards Calvin. "Get my friend here the strongest of whatever you got. On me."

Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#579: Jun 10th 2011 at 11:39:01 PM

"Bilrost Blitz," The Bar tended threw down an odd multi-coloured substace, brewed with Muspel Moon shine and Vodka, Nibel Tharra and Jack Winston's Aftershave. Dilluted with the Tears of a Centauri War Orphan's dying regrets."

Parable Since: Aug, 2009
#580: Jun 10th 2011 at 11:52:16 PM

Phil thought it smelled like bubble gum. He grabbed the glass and went over to Calvin and held it out to him expectingly.

edited 11th Jun '11 12:02:39 AM by Parable

rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#581: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:44:04 AM

Calvin gave Phil a look, before sighing. " Well, never refuse a gift, I suppose." He said, picking up the glass and giving it a sniff.

What the hell? Bubble gum? He thought mystified. Whatever.

" I don't know why I go out with my squadmates anymore, all you guys want is to see me pass out. Ah, screw it."

He took a deep, steadying breath, and threw back to shot glass, draining it of the contents.

edited 11th Jun '11 7:53:13 AM by rabbitRider

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
Dragon573 Sanity not included from Sitting at a bonfire Since: Jun, 2016 Relationship Status: Wishfully thinking
Sanity not included
#582: Jun 11th 2011 at 10:43:35 AM

"Calvin, don't get yourself drunk. I still owe you that dinner, and I'd prefer you were sober for it."

It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#583: Jun 11th 2011 at 1:11:20 PM

"Right. What's the strongest Earth Drink you've got?"

"Psh. Pale-assed Jotun boy afraid to drink proper liquor?" The soldier next to him smirked. The bartender tried hard to conceal his own.

"It's for a bet," Yasan glared, "What's the strongest Earth drink you've got?"

"Imported Water?" The Bartender asked.

"Something that would count in a drinking contest, jackass."

"I'll see what I can dig up."

rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#584: Jun 11th 2011 at 2:50:04 PM

" Hmmmmph?" Calvin responded fuzzily. His vision was already slightly blurred. He blinked several times in rapid succession and shook his head vigorously.

" I that, uhhh, that's en-hic," He coughed several times. " Enough for me. I thought I was a drinker back on Earth, but the shit they brew out here is like an aphrodisiac mixed with lead." He shook his head again. "Yep. Whew, been a while since I had any booze. Cents don't give us any. Bastards."

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
Dragon573 Sanity not included from Sitting at a bonfire Since: Jun, 2016 Relationship Status: Wishfully thinking
Sanity not included
#585: Jun 11th 2011 at 3:12:02 PM

"Yeah, they don't want their prisoners dying from a liver failure before they can make a profit, trading them back... that shang's an efficient son of a bitch."

It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#586: Jun 11th 2011 at 5:39:20 PM

Calvin snorted. " Efficient? More like a complete jackass. Swear to god, that guy must have a sniper rifle stuck up his butt to be that much of a hard ass. Probably hasn't gotten laid in years."

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
Dragon573 Sanity not included from Sitting at a bonfire Since: Jun, 2016 Relationship Status: Wishfully thinking
Sanity not included
#587: Jun 11th 2011 at 5:45:44 PM

"That's because, believe it or not... they actually do that after they get married."

It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#588: Jun 11th 2011 at 6:26:02 PM

Calvin's jaw dropped.. " What? They... not until..."

He gaped for several more seconds, uncomprehendingly.

Then he began hyperventilating.

He finally recovered the use of his vocal chords. " But that's... that's like... the second century or something. Nobody does that! I thought it was just a joke about how uptight Cents are! I didn't know it was true!" He took several deep breath. " But that's like... Oh my god! That's why most of the Cents are complete hard asses."

He grabbed Kiera by the shoulders. " That's why we're fighting! Because they don't have sexual freedom! They don't have sex for years, no- decades!" He slapped his forehead in disbelief. " I finally understand! I never really thought about why we had to be at war, but that's it right there! It's a war of liberation! We're fighting to bring them sex!" He placed his hand over his mouth in shock. " I've never really thought about the war, but now that I know... we can't abandon the Cents. We have to bring them sexual freedom, even if they think they don't want it. We have to win this war!"

The worrying part was that one couldn't really tell if the alcohol had any effecting on his thought process. He could have come up with this theory sober.

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#589: Jun 11th 2011 at 6:31:02 PM

Yasan smacked him on the back of the head while knocking back his second pint, "Don't be a moron. At least not while I'm still sober enough to remember you're my responsibility."

RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#590: Jun 11th 2011 at 6:57:57 PM

After watching Calvin, Lilith was starting to have second thoughts about the local brews.

"Holy shit," she muttered, staring at Calvin's drink. "That's... That's completely... awesome! Hey, Yasan, I'll pay you however damn much you want, I want to get passed out on this shit. It looks amazing, get me some!"

Truth be told, she was mildly worried about the massive hangover she'd probably have, but...

"Wait a minute!" she realized suddenly, "You're not supposed to wait until after? Well there goes several years of my life..."

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#591: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:02:33 PM

"You're screwing with me. You raised on the same backwater religious reserve Sheridan tripped out of while readin' his koran? Hell, most places only started having traditional marriage cerimonies about the year after I was born."

edited 11th Jun '11 7:02:59 PM by Fauxlosophe

rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#592: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:13:35 PM

" No, this is groundbreaking!" Calvin whirled on Yasan. " The Cents are living in the past, and up until now, I really didn't care. I mean, who gives a shit if they want to dress up fancy and use pointy sticks. But, now that..." He shook his head sadly. " Now that I know this, it's different. This is a righteous war. We must bring FREEDOM and SEX to the Centauri!" He slammed his fist down upon the table. " I have found my true calling. I will not rest, until every Cent has been freed from the shackle and chains of sexual persecution! " He slammed his fist down again. " This I swear!"

edited 11th Jun '11 7:13:57 PM by rabbitRider

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#593: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:15:02 PM

"You are an idiot. And I am drinking until the stupid stops hurting," He knocked back another half pint, "Repeat that again, and you're on latrine duty for a week. And no, unlike the movies, I'm not going to make you use your tooth brush. I'll make you use your tongue."

edited 11th Jun '11 7:15:49 PM by Fauxlosophe

RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#594: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:19:48 PM

"Isn't it the other way around...?" Lilith mused. "Anyway, I wouldn't call it particularly religious, more moralistic. Sure, we called it religion, but..."

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#595: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:24:07 PM

"Stupid things stop seeming so stupid when you are drunk," Yasan said, "Normally, I'd say there is a, wot's it the Svarteirian's call it, Zen? Zen level of Drunk. Right between Morons not seeming that stupid and actually being stupid enough yourself to do it. In this case, I'd be dead eight times over from alcohol poisioning before thinking this was a good idea. I'm hoping to find a stage where it is just stupid. Not literally painfully stupid."

edited 11th Jun '11 7:24:15 PM by Fauxlosophe

RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#596: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:34:00 PM

"Anyway... Hey, Yasan!" Lilith called, "We gonna do this or not? Your piss water against my alcohol. First to keel over and die from alcohol poisoning loses, okay? Order up a round!"

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#597: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:36:08 PM

"I'm three pints in," He shrugged signalling for his fourth, "Or did seeing Calvin make you hesistate? I thought you'd have started already. The jackass at the bar will testify for me."

edited 11th Jun '11 7:36:45 PM by Fauxlosophe

rabbitRider The Sword of the Morning from Shurima Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
The Sword of the Morning
#598: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:41:18 PM

" No." Calvin protested weakly. " You have to listen to me! I'm not drunk, this is Serious Business!"

edited 11th Jun '11 7:41:35 PM by rabbitRider

Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.
RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#599: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:44:44 PM

"It's just Earth beer, so it's nothing, right?" she teased, gesturing for a drink. "Besides, I'm a woman. I need the handicap. And... I don't hesitate. This stuff looks like it'll be fun."

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
Fauxlosophe Since: Aug, 2010
#600: Jun 11th 2011 at 7:47:49 PM

"Fine," Yasan shrugged pushing his drink aside and trying his best to ignore Calvin, "But you're opening with a Bilorst Blitz, then."

He held his finger up, ordering himself a pint and Lilith a small shot glass.

edited 11th Jun '11 8:02:13 PM by Fauxlosophe


Total posts: 1,347
Top