" Don't try to get me in on this bet, Lil." Calvin answered as they entered the bar. " I know how this goes, first it's "let's take a shot", then it's "let's have a drinking contest", and it all ends with me riding a cow away from a half-demolished police station, wearing only my underwear and a pair of handcuffs, being chased by angry hicks with gardening implements." He pointed a finger at her. " I'm on to you."
Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.Calvin gave Phil a look, before sighing. " Well, never refuse a gift, I suppose." He said, picking up the glass and giving it a sniff.
What the hell? Bubble gum? He thought mystified. Whatever.
" I don't know why I go out with my squadmates anymore, all you guys want is to see me pass out. Ah, screw it."
He took a deep, steadying breath, and threw back to shot glass, draining it of the contents.
edited 11th Jun '11 7:53:13 AM by rabbitRider
Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert."Right. What's the strongest Earth Drink you've got?"
"Psh. Pale-assed Jotun boy afraid to drink proper liquor?" The soldier next to him smirked. The bartender tried hard to conceal his own.
"It's for a bet," Yasan glared, "What's the strongest Earth drink you've got?"
"Imported Water?" The Bartender asked.
"Something that would count in a drinking contest, jackass."
"I'll see what I can dig up."
" Hmmmmph?" Calvin responded fuzzily. His vision was already slightly blurred. He blinked several times in rapid succession and shook his head vigorously.
" I that, uhhh, that's en-hic," He coughed several times. " Enough for me. I thought I was a drinker back on Earth, but the shit they brew out here is like an aphrodisiac mixed with lead." He shook his head again. "Yep. Whew, been a while since I had any booze. Cents don't give us any. Bastards."
Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.Calvin's jaw dropped.. " What? They... not until..."
He gaped for several more seconds, uncomprehendingly.
Then he began hyperventilating.
He finally recovered the use of his vocal chords. " But that's... that's like... the second century or something. Nobody does that! I thought it was just a joke about how uptight Cents are! I didn't know it was true!" He took several deep breath. " But that's like... Oh my god! That's why most of the Cents are complete hard asses."
He grabbed Kiera by the shoulders. " That's why we're fighting! Because they don't have sexual freedom! They don't have sex for years, no- decades!" He slapped his forehead in disbelief. " I finally understand! I never really thought about why we had to be at war, but that's it right there! It's a war of liberation! We're fighting to bring them sex!" He placed his hand over his mouth in shock. " I've never really thought about the war, but now that I know... we can't abandon the Cents. We have to bring them sexual freedom, even if they think they don't want it. We have to win this war!"
The worrying part was that one couldn't really tell if the alcohol had any effecting on his thought process. He could have come up with this theory sober.
Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.After watching Calvin, Lilith was starting to have second thoughts about the local brews.
"Holy shit," she muttered, staring at Calvin's drink. "That's... That's completely... awesome! Hey, Yasan, I'll pay you however damn much you want, I want to get passed out on this shit. It looks amazing, get me some!"
Truth be told, she was mildly worried about the massive hangover she'd probably have, but...
"Wait a minute!" she realized suddenly, "You're not supposed to wait until after? Well there goes several years of my life..."
I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts." No, this is groundbreaking!" Calvin whirled on Yasan. " The Cents are living in the past, and up until now, I really didn't care. I mean, who gives a shit if they want to dress up fancy and use pointy sticks. But, now that..." He shook his head sadly. " Now that I know this, it's different. This is a righteous war. We must bring FREEDOM and SEX to the Centauri!" He slammed his fist down upon the table. " I have found my true calling. I will not rest, until every Cent has been freed from the shackle and chains of sexual persecution! " He slammed his fist down again. " This I swear!"
edited 11th Jun '11 7:13:57 PM by rabbitRider
Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert."You are an idiot. And I am drinking until the stupid stops hurting," He knocked back another half pint, "Repeat that again, and you're on latrine duty for a week. And no, unlike the movies, I'm not going to make you use your tooth brush. I'll make you use your tongue."
edited 11th Jun '11 7:15:49 PM by Fauxlosophe
"Stupid things stop seeming so stupid when you are drunk," Yasan said, "Normally, I'd say there is a, wot's it the Svarteirian's call it, Zen? Zen level of Drunk. Right between Morons not seeming that stupid and actually being stupid enough yourself to do it. In this case, I'd be dead eight times over from alcohol poisioning before thinking this was a good idea. I'm hoping to find a stage where it is just stupid. Not literally painfully stupid."
edited 11th Jun '11 7:24:15 PM by Fauxlosophe
" No." Calvin protested weakly. " You have to listen to me! I'm not drunk, this is Serious Business!"
edited 11th Jun '11 7:41:35 PM by rabbitRider
Your legacy shall drift away, blown into eternity, like the sands of the desert.

Four Terrans, a Lunarian and a Midgarran walked into a bar...
edited 10th Jun '11 10:00:39 PM by Fauxlosophe