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QQQQQ from Canada
Apr 25th 2011 at 7:28:57 PM

Hm. When you're talking with other characters.. the nature of playing-by-post dictates that talking in single sentences in the manner of chatrooms or small talk wouldn't cut it. Of course you would find it difficult to add on supplementing thought/action/description if you handled talk like that.

It would be preferable to add much more substance in your dialogue:

"It is a heart-to-heart, from one person to another, " Clare tells. "Do not confuse me with having pretensions beneath what ought to be a pure act. Because I think you are the type of person who will appreciate what I need to say, instead of dismissing this with either small talk or looks of confusion.

"What are we on this planet, anyways? I think.. apart from the blood pumping, the muscular cells, the nervous system, and the brain, our bodies are just matter. Like this table, the pork we eat, the trees.. the air. And us — I suppose you can call ourselves magically thinking, feeling creatures.

"Then you ask, why are we above plants, also a magically thinking, feeling creature? Because we can move freely from place to place, never having to be rooted to a spot you never chose. Why are we above ants? Because, other than the fact we're bigger, we know the distinction between our individual selves and those around us. Why are we above the lizards and frogs who fuck out of reproducing instinct? Because we find the greatest pleasure in ourselves.. like an intimate adventure. Many people don't even think of having babies when they do this.

"And why are we above the dolphins, the gorillas and chimpanzees — our nearest neighbours in terms of intelligence? They have fun, they can make friends or enemies.. like we do.

"Because we can comprehend. We understand things, life, other people in such ways that we just feel about it. And because of that.. we understand.. we have to die. Maybe one minute, maybe in one year — maybe in a distant 365 years, who cares what happens so far in future? But.. it happens. The light of our souls get snuffed out, and we collapse to gravity like stones. Millions of galaxies of hundreds of millions of stars, in a speck on one in a blink. That's us, lost in space and time. Long after we disappear.. you, me, everyone.. Who notices?

"So, we just indulge ourselves until then. We fight each other, write a book, play a game.. have a chat with a friend. In moments like these. And we also can love. One heart to another. You know where I'm going at. One of the greatest feelings of all is to find another soul.. look beneath all the trappings, and you just let them know— in spite of all the good things, bad things that happen, that they are not alone. You are there for them, filling that cosmic emptiness. Such a pity though you have to run through so much talk just to feel that.

"It's just like how the woman envelops the man, when they suckle on each other's dear life. The woman's there, but who's there to hug? And the man.. he stands, but with no one to be blissfully hugged. Until these souls meet.

"And I suppose you, Gant— a soul trapped in this.. body, are vying to have that emptiness filled also? I can tell.. you had loved.. only to have lost that love? You feel what I feel. It follows your footsteps like a shadow and is the mad, subconscious pixie sparking your will. My question for you: what are you going to do about it?"

This is all Clare has to say, before zoning back into her whirling mind.

Think of it like a Shakespearian play. The characters would go on monologues or digressions about their motives, and what they want. You know they wouldn't necessarily talk like that in Real Life back then, but Shakespeare did this because Rule of Drama necessitates more than simple replies.

It's like carrying on a good conversation through P Ms. You offer so many opportunities for a good-winded reply.

edited 25th Apr '11 7:37:40 PM by QQQQQ

chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 7:53:10 PM

[up] [awesome] That is so idealistic.

By the way, how should I bring about Samar'tha, the princess from another world that I decided to ommit? I want to use her. Can I somehow have one of the Manifestations knock Mary out, so I can focus on one character at a time?

Oh, and in Communication Arts, I just started learning about Shakespeare. I heard Hamlet was very bloody. waii

edited 25th Apr '11 7:54:18 PM by chihuahua0

The dog days are over.
Apr 25th 2011 at 7:57:11 PM

[up] That should be okay.

...Now I'm too afraid to write anything to post in the Character Carnival thread, in fear of it being too long, so it gets ignored again.

QQQQQ from Canada
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:01:25 PM

[up] Knock her out, sure. You'll start learning Shakespeare's plays in High School English; his plays have become classics because his characters always seem to touch on that "human condition" thing. Hamlet I think is about long-winded revenge.. brought on partly by the titular character's indecision. ("To be or not to be, that is the question.")

They'll also serve Romeo and Juliet for starters, the tragic lovers. I might suggest you can watch Romeo X Juliet beforehand as a preparation (though it's a loose adaptation).

edited 25th Apr '11 8:04:18 PM by QQQQQ

GIG Forever livid from Where I want to be
Forever livid
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:02:30 PM

I've been waiting 'til WWE Raw is finished to post. I can't focus when something I like is on.sad

chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:05:32 PM

@Betsyandthe Five Avengers: Don't worry, I'll won't ignore it this time. It was just that it was going fast at the time, and I was filtering out some of the posts, and being ninja'd, so I accidently skipped over yours.

The dog days are over.
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:13:20 PM

[up] Okay.

Before I start writing: where are we exactly in the carnival? Should we start taking "turns?" And have you decided what you want to do when you leave?

chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:22:56 PM

Well, everyone is in the upper-right section of the canival, by the Top Spin. The house is in the lower-left corner, the merry-go-round just a few yards away, with the Ferris Wheel in the middle-left section. The mirror house (which one of the other Tropers put in) is who-knows-where, the tent top the roc was in was in the middle-right section, and at the middle upper section is an empty lot. You can fill in the blanks.

Fell free to introduce your own wierdness. Maybe not just spirits, but maybe other creatures from your works. Or maybe mushrooms.

I'm thinking of having the group find a celler while I am gone, which they can explore. They can also go hang out by the merry-go-round, which could be a breeding ground for Manifestations. Or someone may try to make it work again. Go crazy, but don't raze any buildings. Booths are fair game as long as you don't take too many of them out. Mary won't take in kindly, and the Manifestations won't either.

Also, exactly how big should the carnival be? 100 yards for each side? 150? 200?

edited 25th Apr '11 8:24:14 PM by chihuahua0

The dog days are over.
CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:25:42 PM

Cyrus is currently in a corridor lined with old carnival games. He found a ghost-girl who won't leave without the goldfish in a baggie that she won. I know where it's going to go...

Also, 200 yards is way too small. My hometown (which has a population of about 40,000) has its own county fairground, and the entire complex is way, way bigger than 200 yards.

edited 25th Apr '11 8:27:35 PM by CrystalGlacia

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:29:09 PM

Well, 100 yards is the length of a football field. Maybe 1000 feet at each side?

The incident with the girl is going to end well.

The dog days are over.
GIG Forever livid from Where I want to be
Forever livid
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:32:09 PM

[up][up]Clearly, it will be all smiles! An adventure for all ages! Silly chases! A cameo by Barney! All leading up to a heartfelt reunion with the fish that will leave us in tears.

Before the fish falls on the floor and Valentine steps on it by accident because she's a bitch like that.

edited 25th Apr '11 8:32:36 PM by GIG

chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:34:54 PM

Or it turns out that it was a trap, and it is actually a Ghost Manifestation hellbend for revenge.

The dog days are over.
CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 25th 2011 at 8:36:41 PM

The fish itself is long dead, Cyrus was right about that...

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Gault Laugh and grow dank! from beyond the kingdom Relationship Status: P.S. I love you
Laugh and grow dank!
Apr 25th 2011 at 9:25:43 PM

I'm not so hot about the whole post length requirement idea. Of course it will vary by circumstance, but it can very easily come out as if characters are talking over one-another. Long monologues would not be conducive to character interaction, which as pointed out earlier is the point of the thread. I like description, and to think that posts need more development, but I am not sure this is the way to go about it.

Also I'm going to generally have very little time for the CDT during the week, excepting the weekends. So could someone (animemetalhead has agreed so far, we'll see how that goes) puppet Grimm if necessary?

yey
Apr 25th 2011 at 9:30:04 PM

I know, I was sort of worried about it.

I tried the new paragraph requirement out on the actual thread. Can someone critique it? Is it too long and monologue-y for its purpose?

GIG Forever livid from Where I want to be
Forever livid
Apr 25th 2011 at 9:35:15 PM

I kind of like the paragraph limit idea. It slows down the tread to a manageable level and makes us think about how we plan on contributing a little more.

animemetalhead Runs on Awesomeness from Ashwood Landing, ME
Runs on Awesomeness
Apr 25th 2011 at 9:55:15 PM

Oh my god, I hate power outages! I just got power back, I missed so much...

Okay, I'm gonna try and follow the new rules, but... I dunno. Long monologues are not something I'm good at. And a ten sentence rule? Most of my fights are done in 12 to 15. I'll do my best though, this is still the most fun I've had on the forums here.

Oh, and since we opened it up to bringing in creatures from our stories, anybody up for fighting a Grey Dragon? According to my story, there's (at least) one in each universe.

edited 25th Apr '11 9:58:46 PM by animemetalhead

No one believes me when I say angels can turn their panties into guns.
QQQQQ from Canada
animemetalhead Runs on Awesomeness from Ashwood Landing, ME
Runs on Awesomeness
Apr 25th 2011 at 10:30:29 PM

Okay, did my best, how's it look? Hopefully I'm improving. I don't normally write her all introspective like that unless she's suffering a Heroic BSoD, which is, unfortunately, the only time I write longer paragraphs. Most of mine are really short, one to two sentences typically.

No one believes me when I say angels can turn their panties into guns.
JHM Thunder, Perfect Mind from Neither Here Nor There Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Thunder, Perfect Mind
Apr 26th 2011 at 2:58:21 AM

Just asking for the sake of self-improvement: Does anyone have any qualms with my writing? I've noticed that my recent posts have been trending towards the minimal... Are they too short or awkward?

I'll hide your name inside a word, and paint your eyes with false perception.
chihuahua0 Writer's Welcome Wagon from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I LOVE THIS DOCTOR!
Writer's Welcome Wagon
Apr 26th 2011 at 4:51:42 AM

[up] Well, I had to look back a little bit, but you're doing okay.

@ animemetalhead: It took you 20 minutes to type that? I think it took me around that time, or maybe a little less, to type the "Manifestations and Paranoia" post. Do you know what's your words-per-minute number?

@ GIG: Nice post. I took the time to read it.


And I start the day yet again...but I didn't really tried on that one.

The dog days are over.
PsychoFreaX Card-Carrying Villain >:D from Transcended Humanity
Apr 26th 2011 at 6:01:26 AM

Sorry I wasn't able to be involved in the latest Character Development Thread, Carnival. It sounds really eventful with almost five hundred posts and all. But I've been too busy these days to even be in TV Tropes in general. Anyway would it be too early to share my ideas on future threads? I have a concept I think good writers can make great plans from.

edited 26th Apr '11 6:12:10 AM by PsychoFreaX

Help?.. please...
CrystalGlacia from Cedarpointland
Apr 26th 2011 at 6:58:21 AM

Sure, if you want.

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Respect the Red Right Hand
Apr 26th 2011 at 8:50:24 AM

I'd love to join but don't have time to binge this... could someone summarize the 500 pages for me? [lol]


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