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DrNoPuma This feels like an Arcada188 avatar from the Carnival! :) Relationship Status: Barbecuing
This feels like an Arcada188 avatar
Apr 12th 2018 at 10:17:41 AM

Hello there! My name is Whiskers. Being a toy, I don't have to worry about many of the health risks you humans do, but nonetheless, I'm here to talk about "vitamin D3".

Remember to eat healthy foods that contain Vitamin D3. Because if you don't, you might end up with... "os... teo... por osis"? I don't know what that is, but it sounds bad. Stay safe, y'all.

Getting enough sleep

I'm in a bad mood, for they give me no food!
CrystalMemoria Aichi Sendou - Warrior of Light from Planet Cray Relationship Status: Waiting for Prince Charming
Aichi Sendou - Warrior of Light
Apr 12th 2018 at 10:25:01 AM

   "I don't care if you don't sleep right, but you're an absolute moron if you think you'll be able to face me when you're tired!"   

-Tercero's cocky smirk grows larger.-

   "Of course you wouldn't stand a chance even if you were wide awake, but it'd be more fun to watch you squirm if you're wide awake!"   

   "Sleep properly so you'll suck a little less!"   

Geez I suck at arrogant dialogue... Don't trust Tercero to give PS As either.

Protecting against identity theft.

edited 12th Apr '18 10:29:19 AM by CrystalMemoria

He's back, baby! And now he has to find out what's going on with that child in intensive card, and try to free his other sleeping friends!
QuantumMelody29 SCIENCE! from somewhere you will never find me. Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER
SCIENCE!
Apr 13th 2018 at 4:31:49 AM

Melody: The internet is a great place, but be careful about getting your identity stolen! Now, I have to go in a few minutes so here are some helpful links on the subject:

-cut to some helpful links-

eating disorders

"It would be cool if we could control the mech so it could run around and cause havoc and or justice!" Evolene Porter, WAAPT
Penroses Master of Two Dimensions from Flat Zone Relationship Status: Don't hug me; I'm scared
Master of Two Dimensions
May 14th 2018 at 5:46:03 AM

Remember kids, I only want the best for you and all of your friends, and I want you to live your lives to the fullest. However, I just want to warn you all right now about eating disorders. Don't get them! They're bad for you. Just be responsible, dance, get fit, and enjoy pizza.

Choking hazards

BALL FLAGMAN VERMIN FIRE JUDGE MANHOLE HELMET LION PARACHUTE OCTOPUS CHEF TURTLE BRIDGE FIRE ATTACK OIL PANIC GREEN HOUSE
TyeDyeWildebeest Unreasonably Quirky from Big Rock Candy Mountain Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Unreasonably Quirky
May 14th 2018 at 7:29:36 AM

"Listen, if you have small children in the house, they're gonna try to put stuff in their mouth. I know that might be hard to swallow, but it's the truth. [Laughs] Get it? But seriously, keep your house cleaned up. Make sure you don't have anything lying around that they could choke on."

Gun safety

edited 14th May '18 7:30:45 AM by TyeDyeWildebeest

I love to learn, I love to yearn, and most of all... I love to make money.
DrNoPuma This feels like an Arcada188 avatar from the Carnival! :) Relationship Status: Barbecuing
This feels like an Arcada188 avatar
May 14th 2018 at 7:31:29 AM

[up][up]Hey, everyone! Today we're going to talk about choking hazards! Now, you should know that children are really stupid! They'll put anything in their mouths, go places they shouldn't be, never stop interfering with your evil plans... ahem.

So, please keep your children away from dangerous places and things, okay? You wouldn't want me to have to strangle their little- I mean, for them to play around with objects that are unsafe, right? ...Just keep your little brats under control, will you?!


[up]Hello again! It's me, Joka, here to talk to you about gun safety!

...Uh, I don't really know anything about guns, unless you count giant lasers. But I will say this: Never handle a gun unless you're absolutely sure you know what you're doing. You should be trained or something. I know it was a while before Lord Ghadius trusted me with those lasers...


Housecleaning

edited 14th May '18 7:37:45 AM by DrNoPuma

I'm in a bad mood, for they give me no food!
Murataku Likes: Money, Fire, Booze from Straya Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
Likes: Money, Fire, Booze
May 15th 2018 at 2:25:26 AM

Well, Joana? You taking this one?

Would if I had a house to keep.

Alright, I'll get it, then. Hey, kids! Listen up, big brother Rafael's gonna show you how to keep house. Lesson number one: Don't try. Seriously. There's too many of you around and it's a hellhole anyway! Just sweep everything under the rug every now and then, put it in a corner, maybe chuck it out a window if it gets in the way. If people complain, get a little brother to do it. That's called "delegating", little extra tip there. Have fun!


Road Safety

edited 15th May '18 2:26:20 AM by Murataku

What? They're my orphans, I can do what I want to them. You don't like it, get your own.
Ooglyeye Hanako from Jacksonville, NC Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
Hanako
Jul 16th 2018 at 1:43:25 PM

Hi everyone. When you watch TV with your family and friends you're probably aware of things kids shouldn't see, like blood, gore, completely naked girls with no underwear, and bad words. おねがいだから for the sake of the content, the tv ratings, and of all of humanity, please, stop letting your kids watch adult shows!!!! That's why you have the V-Chip!!! USE IT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! (mumbles in japanese)

Kids watching Adult TV

Edited by Ooglyeye on Jul 16th 2018 at 11:02:16 AM

When given a choice between right or kind. Choose Kind. - Wonder by RJ Pallacio.
lewattoo The power of Fluffy Boys shines within you from Planet Auguste Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
The power of Fluffy Boys shines within you
Jul 16th 2018 at 7:59:51 PM

[up] You need to provide a subject for the PSA.

If you think watching TV for adults is cool, it really isn't. You could come across some very violent shows that could scar you for life. You could watch science shows and documentaries that would be too complicated for your little brain to handle. You could be watching -shudder- soap operas. You could also be watching really interesting dramas and comedy shows that would make you laugh to death- You know what? This PSA is dumb; I'm outta here.

Hypodermic needles on beaches

Edited by lewattoo on Jul 16th 2018 at 8:09:28 AM

If you had just acted nice to it in the first place, we could have avoided that entire battle...
Ooglyeye Hanako from Jacksonville, NC Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
Hanako
Jul 18th 2018 at 8:29:44 AM

[up] Fixed

When given a choice between right or kind. Choose Kind. - Wonder by RJ Pallacio.
TyeDyeWildebeest Unreasonably Quirky from Big Rock Candy Mountain Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Unreasonably Quirky
Jul 19th 2018 at 9:32:50 AM

[up][up] "The beach is a sexy place, characterized by the sensual roar of the ocean, the warming glow of the sun, the beautiful swimsuit-clad women getting gorgeously tan, and of course, yours truly. But you know what isn't sexy? Dirty hypodermic needles. And fat guys in speedos. But for now, we're going to focus on the needles.

"If you see a dirty needle, don't touch it, or you could get a nasty infection, like Super AIDS. Instead, call someone strong, competent and reliable - like, again, yours truly - to dispose of it for you."

Animal abuse

I love to learn, I love to yearn, and most of all... I love to make money.
DefRevenge24601 Falcichu from Freddy Fuckboy's Pizza, South Town Location Relationship Status: Owner of a lonely heart
Falcichu
Jul 19th 2018 at 6:12:12 PM

"Kids, abusing animals is wrong. In fact, it reminds me of a time I was sitting on a bench with my friend Orville. I said to him, I said: "Orville, what's your favorite animal? I know so much about you, yet I've never known your favorite animal." And he says to me, he says, "You know, I think I like dogs the best. It's a shame that some of them get abused by their owners." And that got me thinking. Who would be terrible enough to abuse a dog? Nobody in their right mind of course. So I say to Orville, "I don't think anyone in their right mind would abuse a dog, or any animal for that matter." And he says to me, he says: "I've seen it happen before, but I stood in the way and got that dog some help." And that got me thinking again, as I tend to do, and I thought, how can you help animals that are abused? So I asked Orville exactly that, and he told me that you can report it to local animals shelters or your local policeman, and they can bring them to the right people so the abused animals can find a home."

"So, remember. Don't abuse animals, and if you see one being abused, step in and get it some help. Now if you excuse me, I have some business to take care of."

-Mr. Hippo climbs into the office vent, and a jumpscare noise can be heard.-

Gun Safety

Edited by DefRevenge24601 on Jul 19th 2018 at 9:11:56 AM

Awesomness is Volatile indeed.
PresidentStalkeyes Would you buy a used sword from THIS Dragobold? from Soskau Guildhall
Would you buy a used sword from THIS Dragobold?
Jul 19th 2018 at 7:24:47 PM

ATTENTION, civilians! Today I will be giving you a remedial course on how not to blow your hand off with a deadly firearm! That bears repeating, civilians; de-de-deadly FIREARM! Because firearms are always, always deadly! If you shoot, you shoot to kill! All shots have the potential to kill, always! Shoot to wound? Nope, that's called being A FLAKKEN' FOOL! If you don't mean to kill, you keep that gaidamn gun pointed down at the ground, or better yet, IN THE HOLSTER THAT'S BEEN MADE FOR THE EXACT PURPOSE OF KEEPING A GUN IN THE SAFEST PLACE POSSIBLE! And maybe, JUUUUUST MAYBE, take the clip - or bullets, shells, rockets, whatever - out before heading into a combat zone - and even if it's not loaded, act like it is! NEVER go around pointing it at people unless you mean to shoot the enemy and kill them, and NEVER keep your finger on the trigger unless you mean to, you guessed it, shoot the enemy and kill them - even the slightest bump can set it off and splatter some poor sap's brains all over the back seat of your APC!

When and if the time comes to actually use your gun - which, as a civilian, should be as an absolute last resort - don't hold it so damn close to your face like you're in some kind of first-person shooting simulator! Recoil is NOT YOUR FRIEND! Recoil will punch you square on the nose and burst your flakken' eye open! Gunshots are loud, too! So loud you'll wish you were deaf after hearing one go off at close range for the first time! ALWAYS CHECK... that no-one you don't want to be shootin' are in any way behind or near your target; modern bullets are persistent bastards, and will plow through almost ANYTHING! Oh, and most importantly, never, EVER go about firin' sideways! Not only does it make you look like a complete idiot and is impractical as hell, all you'll do is send HOT LEAD skittling down the inside of your coat sleeves! Or WORSE, falling back into the gun and jamming it, and being in an actual firefight is the LAST time you want your gun to be jamming! A firefight is not the time for an impromptu JAZZ SESSION! Do you all understand that?! ...Good! Next on the agenda, bomb disposal! ...Wait, it seems I've run out of time! OH FLAKKEN' WELL, huh?

What to do in the event of a catastrophic flood.

Edited by PresidentStalkeyes on Jul 19th 2018 at 3:48:07 PM

"Hzzn... zzhay, you ever wanted to go to heaven? I offer guided tourzh!" (Art by Nut-Case)
n3rd_d4sh Not Catty from Parts Unknown Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Not Catty
Jul 24th 2018 at 6:17:39 AM

"Because of the flood last night, caused by a few hilarious pranksters, I've been told to teach you all on how to prepare in case of a flood. If anything should happen, simply find a close person, cling onto them, and swim together to the closest exit. Alternatively, just wait and I'll probably just absorb it or something. I mean, I am mostly water."

ADHD Awareness

*tap tap tap* ....Uh...hey. *tap tap tap*
Playing_with_boy Two and two make four! #FACTS! from pg. 666 Relationship Status: Cigarettes and Valentines
Two and two make four! #FACTS!
Jan 11th 2019 at 5:01:52 PM

(bump)

My avatar: "Hey peeps! ADHD exists! And if you see a human with ADHD, like say, Eedchaiee Day

My avatar gets Dulfa.

Dulfa: Nope! That's Eedchaiee.

Dulfa points to the wall.

My avatar: Sorry. I'm blind. Anyway, be nice to people with ADHD.


Drinking beer.

   Totally not suitable for the tweens and kiddos.   
HyperReal Way too much effort. from Earth Relationship Status: YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
Way too much effort.
Jan 11th 2019 at 5:05:11 PM

hey guys, its me narsansia undertale here

if you drink beer your gonna have a bad time

Drugs.

uncanny.
4WD [REDACTED] from The Middle of Nowhere
[REDACTED]
Jan 11th 2019 at 5:07:56 PM

Listen, kids! Drinking beer is something that an underage should not do! Just look at Megumin for example!

(slumped on the floor while clutching her head) This Crimson Demon's head huuuuuurts...

She just drank two mugs of it and now she's getting a hangover!

If you're not underage though, you should drink responsibly like me!

No, you don't! (Kazuma shouts from the background)


Drunk driving.

Edited by 4WD on Jan 11th 2019 at 8:09:28 PM

Funposting is fun.
CustardAndPie This Is Gonna Suck from 'Scansin, don'cha knoow? Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Jan 11th 2019 at 7:07:58 PM

Greetings, everyone! Now kids, uhh.. don't do the... stupid thing. Yes! Don't do the stupid thing! Like having drinks and then driving! You'll listen to me 'cause I am the KING! DON'T DO THE DRINKING BEFORE THE DRIVING!! Unless it's me 'cause I am the KING!


Good hygiene

Roses are red Violets are blue Unregistered Hypercam 2
n3rd_d4sh Not Catty from Parts Unknown Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Not Catty
Jan 11th 2019 at 7:46:47 PM

*tap tap tap* ....Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....b-brush your teeth......*tap tap tap*

Fire Safety

*tap tap tap* ....Uh...hey. *tap tap tap*
Heyitsgalaxycreeper Blind Slime, Blinme from a bag Relationship Status: I've been dreaming of True Love's Kiss
Blind Slime, Blinme
Jan 12th 2019 at 4:20:29 AM

((Note that this is a talking Cosmog.))

Hey kids! Nnnnnebby here! Today i want to teach you about fire safety! But first of all, what causes fires? Well, lots of things that you should stay away from, like matches, lighters, etc. But, how do we avoid fires? Camp in the summer. Ahhhhhhh, the hot summer. Parents, keep flammable objects high, high. On a shelf, or whatever. Kids, stay safe!

Suicide

A missing piece of universe. Find me and return me, please.
Spottedleaf Caitlin Frost? from S.T.A.R. Labs Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Caitlin Frost?
Jan 12th 2019 at 5:36:03 AM

Killer Frost: As someone who's gone through some pretty painful experiences, I can understand wanting to end it all.

Caitlin: But let me just say...It gets better. The storm will pass. And there are people who care about you.

Killer Frost: Talk to someone. Get some help. You matter.

Endangered Animals.

"I'm someone else. And I have to figure out who that is, on my own."
SuperNerd Certified Geek from Somewhere
Certified Geek
Jan 12th 2019 at 8:23:53 AM

(sad music fades in.)

Hello. As most of you probably know, I am a MissingNo, the ??? Pokémon. In Kanto, us glitch Pokémon are hunted for our rarity. For this reason, our population is slowly dwindling... If you want to help, please call 1-800-3-TRAINER-POKÉ. That's 1-800-3-TRAINER-POKÉ. Donate now.

Online predators.

Edited by SuperNerd on Jan 12th 2019 at 8:24:10 AM

My xkcd forum account is here. Feel free to friend me! :)
arimothereindeer The Man They Called a Magician from 60s Japan Relationship Status: Robosexual
The Man They Called a Magician
Jan 14th 2019 at 11:39:31 AM

Ciao bambini! It's your pal Uan! Now, everyone knows the Mediaset-owned websites are the best. But what about other websites? People aren't always who they say they are online! Oh, and by the way, I got a new girlfriend online! And we're going on our first date!

Uan is all dressed up in a tuxedo and is seated at his restaurant table. His date sits down.

Wah! You look nothing like your profile picture!

His date is actually a beautiful woman.

I was really convinced you were this plate of spaghetti!

Laugh track

Preparing for a hurricane.

Little did they know, I'm impervious to bullets. 🔥
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