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Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10201: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:39:13 PM

Before you react to any part of this, read the entire post.

I have a confession that is likely to hurt several people... and I know "sorry" simply won't excuse it, but I'm sorry nonetheless...

The troper known as Bittersweet N Sour... was a complete lie... A hoax... An entire person who was really me behind a mask...

You're probably wondering why I would do something like that, something so deceptive... I have reasons, but I understand they don't justify my actions...

  • I had an idea for a character whom I wanted to use.
  • I was on my break, and was paranoid I'd be looked down on if I ended it early.
  • I wanted to test my abilities to write a realistic character, and took it to the extreme.

While the "test" proved successful, I was stuck with a lie which formed the basis of a thousand other lies... Yet I kept the ruse up. Why?

This is the part where I excessively apologize to Sixth. I doubled my lie to help him out, to give him someone to talk to, to relate to... The half of "Bittersweet" known as "Sarah Calder". It helped me bring him to his senses during several of his breakdowns. It even saved my life, by making him delay a plan for suicide by giving him a reason to shout at me before he went... And it hurt, lying to my best friend...

Although there was another purpose to this, which didn't even occur until recently. "Sarah" became a conscience for me, a second point of view on what I do... And it even brought me to my senses last weekend, when I stopped caring about absolutely everything... A slap to wake me up. And like all slaps, it hurt. But it also gave me the only part of this hoax I don't regret...

I have a feeling you can guess just how lonely I really was yesterday...

Again, I'm really, truly sorry I deceived everyone... I hope you all forgive me, but I understand if you don't... And I'll leave if people want me to... I made a mistake, and I'll accept the punishment...

Pentigan Fwomph from The Underverse Since: Apr, 2010
Fwomph
#10202: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:46:07 PM

Eh, I've been through stuff like this before.

Know this, you are not the most petty example I've seen. It was noble of you to try and help Sixth and I'm glad you've decided to tell us this.

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
Tangent128 from Virginia Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
#10203: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:47:50 PM

Not really sure what to think, honestly.

Not gonna fly off the handle though.

Do you highlight everything looking for secret messages?
Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10204: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:50:38 PM

The thing is, it's only going to hurt him once he sees it...

FullMoon feeling blue from Surface Since: Jul, 2012 Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
feeling blue
#10205: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:54:45 PM

I'm simply stunned, seriously.

I'm more amazed by all that than upset, really, I'm still having trouble believing all that, wow, I was completely fooled by that.

But really, even if you were tricking everyone, it's nice to see that you wanted to help Sixth out like that, I really respect that, and it was a pretty good act too, it could've gone for years and I wouldn't even notice, like I said, I'm more amazed than anything, though I guess it does explain some things.

crowlover from a Jolly Caucus Race Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: Don't hug me; I'm scared
#10206: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:58:03 PM

...

I'm not entirely sure why, but part of me thinks you're not telling the truth...

Or at least doesn't want you to be telling the truth...

"Don't worry, murder is a sign of affection." - An amalgamation of Dunsparce
Deviljho Since: Nov, 2012
#10207: Feb 15th 2013 at 3:58:06 PM

Eskay, 1. That was some amazing acting, and 2. I believe that you helped Sixth through "Bitters" because it was easier to help him through "her". And for your fear of being looked down on, you're only human, and we have fears.

edited 15th Feb '13 4:19:35 PM by Deviljho

DarkerShining (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#10208: Feb 15th 2013 at 4:03:04 PM

[up][up][up] You pretty much covered my thoughts on the matter there, Full Moon. I'm impressed, Eskay. You're a really good writer.

Also, responding to those who responded to my post here earlier, don't worry, if I do leave the RP, I'll definitly stay in touch. (I kind of wish I could say I've made up my mind for sure about leaving, but like I said, I did have things I wanted to do, so... I'll think about it, I guess?)

rmctagg09 The Wanderer from Brooklyn, NY (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
The Wanderer
#10209: Feb 15th 2013 at 4:08:05 PM

Does anyone else have anything big that they'd care to admit right now?

Hugging a Vanillite will give you frostbite.
BittersweetNSour I'm The Bit (It's Me) from the one place uncorrupted by capitalism (space) (Wise, aged troper) Relationship Status: One True Dodecahedron
I'm The Bit (It's Me)
#10211: Feb 15th 2013 at 4:22:04 PM

Crow, it's the truth.

stargirl93 Snowy from Zemuria Since: Jul, 2010 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Snowy
#10212: Feb 15th 2013 at 4:24:24 PM

"O_O" pretty much sums it up for me. I Just....what?

strawberryflavored Since: Sep, 2010
#10213: Feb 15th 2013 at 4:40:37 PM

So...due to issues in RL that were caused by my brother, I'm going to be significantly less active for an indefinite time, possibly permanently. I'm not sure whether or not I should quit or just put my characters on a bus. This is because there is a very real possibility I might be forced to leave for good.

If things get any better, you'll see me around as often as I usually am, but if not, you know what happened at least.

memyselfandI2 Dunsparce Cloud from The Biosphere Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Hooked on a feeling
Dunsparce Cloud
#10214: Feb 15th 2013 at 4:43:41 PM

-hugs-

Hoping things work out.

Dunsparce didn't stop being a thing or anything.
Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10216: Feb 15th 2013 at 6:39:22 PM

Everyone who says they're impressed, please don't be. I don't want this to even remotely seem like a good thing, because it isn't.

edited 15th Feb '13 6:40:00 PM by Eskay64

Sixthhokage1 Since: Feb, 2013
#10217: Feb 15th 2013 at 7:13:08 PM

...

I... I don't know what to say. Trent... why...

Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10218: Feb 15th 2013 at 7:18:25 PM

Looking back on it, I'm asking myself the same question...

Why did I do this?

Why did I deceive my only friends?

Why did I deceive my best friend?

What drove me to make such a stupid decision?

I wish I knew...

Sixthhokage1 Since: Feb, 2013
#10219: Feb 15th 2013 at 7:21:39 PM

You bastard. Go fuck yourself.

Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10220: Feb 15th 2013 at 7:25:21 PM

Yes, I'm a bastard. Such a bastard shouldn't even be here.

I'll leave...

Trip Since: Mar, 2012
#10221: Feb 15th 2013 at 7:38:59 PM

Sixth, calm yourself.

One of the reasons he did this was for you.

Yes, it was rotten, that I won't deny, but for petes fucking sake, you were considering suicide. I would have done something very similar.

Please, calm down a bit, and if you still can't forgive Eskay, so be it.

Please.

stargirl93 Snowy from Zemuria Since: Jul, 2010 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Snowy
#10222: Feb 15th 2013 at 8:05:46 PM

....

....Would it kill you guys....

To, Oh, I dunno,

CALM THE FUCK DOWN FOR ONCE!?

Seriously I....

Look, I have a lot of patience. I understand that a lot of us have massive issues. So many that we could easily alt-title this thing "ITT: We All Have Issues." I'm probably one of the least messed up people in this RP.

But really? Is it that hard to CALM THE FUCK DOWN, AND MAYBE WATCH WHAT YOU SAY TO PEOPLE?

We had to talk someone down from a suicide attempt last night!

But seriously? If we could just watch what we say to people, and not freak out at the slightest little provocation, things would be a lot easier.

Sixth, I understand you're feeling kinda betrayed. Eskay is already punishing himself for what happened.

Take a break, and just chill out a bit.

Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10223: Feb 15th 2013 at 8:18:33 PM

I'm calm. I'm accepting my punishment with no resistance. I wronged everyone, now I must pay for it.

stargirl93 Snowy from Zemuria Since: Jul, 2010 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
Snowy
#10224: Feb 15th 2013 at 8:21:49 PM

[up] Eskay, Ok, this is going to come off as a mixed message, but, You need to chill out too.

Yes, what you did was kinda dickish, But it's not unforgivable.

In the end you had Sixth's best interst at heart, right?

Eskay64 Since: Nov, 2010
#10225: Feb 15th 2013 at 8:22:59 PM

Yes, it was. But now, it's in his best interests that I not stick around.


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