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Don't be shy, and just ask away. The nice folks here, writers and non-writers, experts and non-experts, will do their best to help you.

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edited 11th Apr '18 6:31:51 PM by dRoy

C105 Too old for this from France Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Too old for this
#19276: Apr 24th 2021 at 2:21:19 PM

Well he could look at the cars they pass by, if he's the sort of person to be interested in cars, and try to spot particular models. If he's imaginative, he could be spinning narratives on the cars he sees and the persons inside, and try to imagine where they are going and what they are doing (and that includes checking if he sees any cute boys inside). He might be on the lookout for cars coming from other states, especially if he likes to travel and likes thinking on how life must be in other states. Finally, he could simply be using the time to brood on any subject currently occupying his mind - school work, his crush, his future plans with his friends, finding a way to get back at a bully, etc.

Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#19277: Apr 24th 2021 at 2:39:00 PM

Would it be plausible to start hallucinating like this in this kind of a situation?

.

Character A has been tied up by an Ax-Crazy mobster who's about to torture him to death rather imaginatively. Character A is freaking the fuck out internally and feels like he's going to pass out, but intensely focuses on trying to not look terified while the mobster talks about what he's going to do to him. The mobster hasn't started yet, but Character A begins hallucinating the mobster and his mask as two or three other villains/monsters (in turn) that he's faced or just seen earlier that either resembles.

Character A does suffer from ptsd (but his specific trauma is about completely different things than what's going on right now), and has various other psychological issues that might or might not constitute some mental illnessnote , but propably not any hallucinating kind. Character A also doesn't usually hallucinate. In fact, this scene would be the first and only time this far in the draft.

~*bleh*~
WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#19278: Apr 24th 2021 at 2:59:49 PM

Does this kid like music, Sep? That's my usual hobby on car rides. And my sister likes to watch movies on her laptop.

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#19279: Apr 24th 2021 at 3:24:37 PM

[up][up] @ Nukeli: No, it really doesn't seem plausible that he'd start hallucinating. Now, if you really wanted to stretch it, you could argue that the fear worsened his PTSD and caused an outright psychotic break, but again that would be taking things a little beyond the reach of believability, and it would have long-term effects on the character that would persist even after they are rescued from the mobster.

What could happen instead is that the character suffers from the worst flashbacks they have ever had, or if they've never had flashbacks from their PTSD these could start manifesting now. It would especially fit if you want to keep the "hallucinating" angle without it being actual hallucinations, if that makes sense. Flashbacks are not hallucinations exactly but they can be violent and uncontrollable mental images that, similar to hallucinations, cannot simply be dismissed by concentrating on something else.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Apr 24th 2021 at 6:24:47 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
ChicoTheParakeet Since: Oct, 2019 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#19280: Apr 24th 2021 at 9:27:21 PM

My setting is on an airship above the clouds and the heroes of my story don't kill. I want to appeal to children.

My characters are on the upper deck, it is slanted to one side. The hero fires her bola launcher, entwining the villain. Struggling, the villain slips off the deck and falls into the clouds bellow. The hero feels remorse for her actions.

Is it kid safe? Is my villain Stuffed into the Fridge? I know tropes are tools but I really don't want to offend anyone.

WarJay77 It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000) from My Writing Cave (Troper Knight) Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
It's NaNo, Bay-beeee! (10,238/50,000)
#19281: Apr 24th 2021 at 9:31:33 PM

Some of the darkest, most murder happy books I've ever read, Warrior Cats and Guardians of Ga'Hoole, are aimed at children. I was in elementary school when I discovered Guardians, and middle school when I discovered Warriors. Unless the kids you're trying to appeal to are under the age of 10, then kids can handle way more than you think.

That scene doesn't sound like it'd be offensive at all. It's on par with the way villains die in Disney films, and sounds like it could've come from The Incredibles. As for Stuffed into the Fridge, I'm not sure you realize what that trope actually means.

Edited by WarJay77 on Apr 24th 2021 at 12:31:49 PM

Working on: Author Appeal | Sandbox | Troper Wall
CrystalGlacia from at least we're not detroit (Living Relic)
#19282: Apr 24th 2021 at 10:13:14 PM

People fall to their deaths all the damn time and heroic characters gruesomely kill their enemies several times throughout Star Wars: The Clone Wars (I'm thinking of the young, innocent prince who effectively blows up the villain, complete with Black Bloodied chunks flying everywhere), and that show never gets past a TV-Y7 rating. It's one of the most brutal "kid" cartoons I've ever seen.

Also... Stuffed into the Fridge is about a villain gruesomely killing someone close to the hero, specifically to enrage or insult the hero and often leading to the start of their heroic journey, and it has negative connotations of squandering a character's life just for cheap angst. Even if your protagonist is actually a Villain Protagonist, it doesn't read like this trope is what's happening in your story at all.

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
ChicoTheParakeet Since: Oct, 2019 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#19283: Apr 24th 2021 at 10:36:10 PM

Thanks for the feedback, maybe I'm just too precautious. I'll keep this knowledge in mind and ask if I should tone things down once my first draft is finished.

eagleoftheninth Shop all day, greed is free from a dreamed portrait, imperfect Since: May, 2013 Relationship Status: With my statistically significant other
Shop all day, greed is free
#19284: Apr 25th 2021 at 7:12:38 AM

More of a flavour question than a story question, but: are puffins commonly seen in Finland? Or any of the countries bordering the Baltic Sea?

One day, we will read his name in the news and cheer.
TitanJump Since: Sep, 2013 Relationship Status: Singularity
#19285: Apr 25th 2021 at 7:22:26 AM

Which one?

There are three different kinds of puffins.

Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#19286: Apr 25th 2021 at 7:33:50 AM

[up][up] I'm Finnish and i've been to Lapland and the west coast, but i've never seen a puffin in anywhere else than television. I've gotten the impression that there aren't puffins in Finland, only in Greenland, Iceland, Norway.

EDIT: Wikipedia

Edited by Nukeli on Apr 25th 2021 at 5:35:45 PM

~*bleh*~
eagleoftheninth Shop all day, greed is free from a dreamed portrait, imperfect Since: May, 2013 Relationship Status: With my statistically significant other
Shop all day, greed is free
#19287: Apr 25th 2021 at 7:35:23 AM

Righto. Thanks!

One day, we will read his name in the news and cheer.
SeptimusHeap from Switzerland (Edited uphill both ways) Relationship Status: Mu
#19288: Apr 25th 2021 at 11:03:15 AM

Thanks for the comments so far.

"For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled." - Richard Feynman
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#19289: Apr 25th 2021 at 1:56:41 PM

Would the following be considered a "symbiote" or "parasite?" The terminology is very important so I wanted to know.

The entity question is a supernatural being that enters a human host, "gifts" the host with abilities and powers, (including an immortal/undying body) but also conveys certain weaknesses. Under certain conditions it also degrades the hosts mind into a primitive and almost animalistic state. Although this is not something that necessarily has to happen, it is what the entity wants and so it alters the host's physiology so that there are a number of chances that the host enters the animalistic state of mind.

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
C105 Too old for this from France Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Too old for this
#19290: Apr 25th 2021 at 2:08:37 PM

[up] What are the benefits to the entity of entering the host, and of degrading the host's mind? Can the entity thrive even if the host does not revert to an animalistic state?

Edited by C105 on Apr 25th 2021 at 11:09:06 AM

Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#19291: Apr 25th 2021 at 2:15:04 PM

[up] @ C105:

The "degradation" of the host's mind is really just an expression of the entity's natural state of being. In other words, it's mind overwhelming the human's. In the case of a "successful" life-cycle, it slowly "replaces" the hosts mind with its own. The entity can thrive regardless of the host's state of mind but it will be in a subordinate position so to speak. It gives the host abilities and powers but its own mentality remains subconscious and largely overshadowed by the human consciousness.

Although in this case, I mean that the entity can survive regardless of the host's mental state. To live it's so-called best life, the entity merges with the host and slowly takes over the human's mind and body. Either way the entity lives, but a full takeover is the best possible outcome for it.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Apr 25th 2021 at 5:16:13 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
C105 Too old for this from France Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Too old for this
#19292: Apr 25th 2021 at 3:41:15 PM

This looks more like a parasite to me, then, since the entity's ultimate goal is to take full control of the host's body. The benefits the host derives from the entity entering their body are only incidental.

Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#19293: Apr 25th 2021 at 3:57:25 PM

[up]@ C105:

I see. Thanks for that; I really wanted to get it right since how people refer to this creature is important to the story.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Apr 25th 2021 at 6:57:57 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#19294: Apr 25th 2021 at 5:51:27 PM

How much money would you (propably) make if you owned a relatively succesful nightclub in a big city?note 

~*bleh*~
dRoy Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar from Most likely from my study Since: May, 2010 Relationship Status: I'm just high on the world
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
#19295: Apr 25th 2021 at 6:19:06 PM

That depends on so many factors, so you have to be a bit more specific.

Like:

  • Specifically when? "Contemporary" is a long period that spans over 70 years, from 1950s to 2020s.
  • Which city? There are a lot of big cities in the world and different laws on businesses and taxes.
  • What's the percentage of the profits that the owner take?
  • What's the business model of the club and how well it's doing, like, does it only host dances or is there also some drug trade going on inside, and how many customers does the place get?
  • How much money in what span, a month? Year?

Edited by dRoy on Apr 25th 2021 at 10:19:57 PM

Continuously reading, studying, and (hopefully) growing.
CrystalGlacia from at least we're not detroit (Living Relic)
#19296: Apr 25th 2021 at 7:16:59 PM

I'm assuming you're trying to figure out if they'd be well-off? Like, not necessarily specific numbers, but what sort of lifestyle owning a successful nightclub would get this person?

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#19297: Apr 25th 2021 at 7:36:31 PM

[up][up]

  • When i say "contemporary", i generally mean "this decade". In this case also the previous decade.

  • The city is made up, but resembles New York, so let's say that it has about similiar population. It's also in America.

  • I'm not sure.

  • They don't sell (and don't let anybody else sell) drugs at the club. There's dancing and singing. It's decently crowded.

  • In a year.

[up]

Yeah.

~*bleh*~
ChicoTheParakeet Since: Oct, 2019 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
#19298: Apr 25th 2021 at 10:04:38 PM

How do you kill a character without having then being Stuffed into the Fridge?

This is for my other story (aimed towards an older audience). I want one of the main character’s friend to fight the villain and be killed in her attempt. The main character feels remorse over this loss.

I know I should write before asking about my paranoia but I can’t shake the feeling that I might offend someone.

CrystalGlacia from at least we're not detroit (Living Relic)
#19299: Apr 25th 2021 at 10:34:52 PM

Whenever you're in doubt about something, anything you're doing in your story, ask yourself why you're going with X and what would happen to the plot if you didn't do X. Why does this character have to die, and how would the story be different if they didn't?

I think another component to what makes a character death qualify for the Stuffed into the Fridge trope is how much agency the character had regarding the conflict with whatever kills them, and how much relevance the character continues to have for the plot afterward. Just from the simple fact that your character dies in the process of fighting the villain, their death likely doesn't qualify for the trope because they had agency in the lead-up to their death and chose to fight likely knowing they would die- it's not like they weren't involved and the villain sought them out.

But if you need another metric, you know the "Sexy Lamp" test for character agency? Could the character be replaced with a sexy lamp and the character's death replaced with the lamp getting broken beyond repair without any significant effects on the plot?

What you already have, as you've described it here, is on the right track. Have the character's absence and impact on the character's life play a role in your protag's story, like they think about how their friend would've known what to say/do in X situation or they reminisce about their friend or something, and go from there.

Edited by CrystalGlacia on Apr 25th 2021 at 1:35:58 PM

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
Altris from the Vortex Since: Aug, 2019 Relationship Status: Not caught up in your love affair
#19300: Apr 25th 2021 at 10:43:39 PM

[up][up] Depends. How developed is this character? You have points against the trope already in that the female character isn't killed specifically to induce angst in the hero, but made a decision on her own initiative that just happened to end in her death.


Quick question of my own. So in fantasy-I-haven't-decided-which-country-yet, the inciting incident of my story is that the main character commits a crime and her punishment is basically being assigned community service at the local branch of the Adventurer's Guild. I need her to commit a crime that would be severe enough to make it clear that there would be consequences like jail time if she weren't so protected by her status, but not so severe that it makes her irredeemable or impossible to sympathize with. I was thinking maybe she gets assaulted, but retaliates beyond the point of self-defense, although not going so far to actually kill the guy.

Edited by Altris on Apr 25th 2021 at 10:44:18 AM

So, let's hang an anchor from the sun... also my Tumblr

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