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Hello, fellow writers! Got any question that you can't find answer from Google or Wikipedia, but you don't think it needs a separate thread for? You came to the right place!

Don't be shy, and just ask away. The nice folks here, writers and non-writers, experts and non-experts, will do their best to help you.

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Now, bring on the questions, baby!

edited 11th Apr '18 6:31:51 PM by dRoy

Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29726: Dec 5th 2024 at 5:16:51 AM

I'm trying to walk a tightrope with the And Then What? inherent in my final Big Bad's plans and wondered if anyone could weigh in.

The plan of the final villain is essentially a combination of genocide and Assimilation Plot; he intends to transform every human on the planet into an army of werewolves "piloted" by his will and then usse them to systematically kill off the other supernaturals, thus scouring the Earth of supernatural life and turning humanity into "drones" under his command. The only people spared from this fate will be a tiny colony of humans who worship him, a cult of personality who see him as a godlike figure.

Here is where my question comes in—-his end goal for his family (who is the entire reason for this plan) is for them to live as VI Ps within this Cult Colony of survivors and enjoy a life of relaxation and luxury. After he has finished killing/assimilating the world's population, he intends to create a replica of his original human body and use it to live with them similar to his former life as an Ordinary High-School Student, while his Kaiju body and werewolf army eternally roams the planet to "mop up" anyone still left.

Of course, this idea that he will just live with his family as if nothing happened is completely insane and it is intended to show simultaneously show how unhinged he is at this point and that at the end of the day he's just teenage boy who isn't really thinking things through.

What I'm wondering about is if this comes off as stupid from a writing perspective. It's intended to be ridiculous in-universe, but I don't want it to seem that way "outside" if that makes sense.

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
C105 Too old for this from France Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Too old for this
#29727: Dec 5th 2024 at 5:35:56 AM

[up] If the narrative makes it clear that the character is really unhinged, I feel this is the kind of plot that could fit for such a mind. You could if you want lampshade it at some point by having the main character happily describe his plan to someone, who then proceeds to point all the glaring flaws (to put it mildly) in his intended future, only for them to fall on deaf ears (either the main character shoots the arguments down or simply does not want to listen).

Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29728: Dec 5th 2024 at 6:07:56 AM

[up] @ Cl 05:

Thanks for the advice. The narrative does make it clear (especially towards the end when his plan is really underway) that he has lost much of his humanity due to the hardships he's suffered and through his obsession with keeping his family safe. In fact, I'd somewhat amend things to say that he isn't so much "unhinged" as in there's something mentally wrong with him as much as he's become so ruthless that he has cast aside any concept of "right" or "wrong" apart from what keeps his loved ones safe.

if you want lampshade it at some point by having the main character happily describe his plan to someone, who then proceeds to point all the glaring flaws (to put it mildly) in his intended future, only for them to fall on deaf ears (either the main character shoots the arguments down or simply does not want to listen).

In regard to this, there are only two examples of this happening so far although they're a little different than what you described. One example is the main character vaguely referencing his plans for after the apocalypse with his second in command, the leader of his cult and the cult leader nodding along with it. But that guy is already shown to be quite cruel and is a fanatic, so his agreement is more of a condemnation than any endorsement.

The other is actually after the Final Battle when the main character and his vampire ex are discussing what he would have done had he won, and she is appalled by the thought of his idea. That's a little more straightforward and I may add more examples like it if I can think of a way to place them.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Dec 5th 2024 at 6:09:21 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#29729: Dec 5th 2024 at 6:53:57 AM

Does "The Prime" make sense as a dictator title, or should i come up with something else?

~*bleh*~
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#29730: Dec 5th 2024 at 7:00:18 AM

Immediate thought is that that's the same title given to the leaders of the Autobots, second is that it feels kinda empty. It needs something to fill it out, I feel, like Prime Minister or Prime Citizen or something else depending on your flavour of dictator. Not sure which thought is more important.

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#29731: Dec 5th 2024 at 7:02:44 AM

[up]

I sort of got the idea from Horde Prime. This is a scifi concept.

My ideas are still vague, but the guy was definitely never a prime minister.

~*bleh*~
HalfFaust Since: Jan, 2019
#29732: Dec 5th 2024 at 7:06:52 AM

Granted, it could also be the Prime [something] and people start shortening it to "the Prime".

Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#29733: Dec 5th 2024 at 7:18:50 AM

Any ideas about the "something" part?

For further information, the guy is a fascist.

Edited by Nukeli on Dec 5th 2024 at 5:20:09 PM

~*bleh*~
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#29734: Dec 5th 2024 at 7:25:54 AM

Would it make sense to make it a name? Kinda seems this Hordak Prime is kinda like Optimus Prime in that way?

Well, ignoring that, if it's "The Prime (Something)", maybe The Prime General if it's something military, or The Prime Overseer of it's more dystopian?

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#29735: Dec 5th 2024 at 8:14:59 AM

Do you think Prime Commander would work, or if it'd sound weird?

~*bleh*~
C105 Too old for this from France Since: Jan, 2012 Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Too old for this
#29736: Dec 5th 2024 at 8:32:59 AM

"Prime Citizen" could also fit.

Whatever your favourite work is, there is a Vocal Minority that considers it the Worst. Whatever. Ever!.
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29737: Dec 6th 2024 at 12:36:34 PM

Would money be a good enough sole motive for a human to engage in being The Renfield?

In my story vampires cannot turn humans into more of their kind; they are born naturally, arising from a pairing of a male and female vampire just like humans. Yet they have some of the same limitations of their more infectious counterparts—particularly a severe weakness against sunlight. Thus, they often employ humans to work on their behalf during the day, cover up their murders, and a number of other tasks.

Here is what I'm wondering—would the fact that they just pay these human servants work as a sufficient motivation instead of the promise of being "turned"? Although there is a massive gap between the commoners and the powerful nobles who rule over the world's vampire populace, even those without any political power tend to have a lot of money. Any human dedicated to carrying out their whims would find himself/herself very wealthy indeed.

I'm just trying to think of a motive that doesn't include joining the vampires. There is a specific example wherein a single vampire's cadre of servants come from a group of human families who have pledged loyalty to him throughout generations, but that's a single case.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Dec 6th 2024 at 12:44:31 PM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Marchen Too hot (Hot damn) from Somewhere Out in Space (Experienced, Not Yet Jaded) Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
Too hot (Hot damn)
#29738: Dec 6th 2024 at 1:29:27 PM

[up] I mean, that's the standard motivation for most henchmen, no? Not sure it would exactly be a Renfield beyond the employer being a vampire, but that's a question for TRS, and as it stands I'd say cash is enough of a motivation.

Edited by Marchen on Dec 6th 2024 at 10:30:01 AM

Read Otr of the Flame (She/Her)
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#29739: Dec 7th 2024 at 3:12:49 AM

I was looking at Bizarre Alien Locomotion, and i started wondering how organic wheels could ever make sense. In order to be physically able to spin around completely and keep spinning in the same direction, wouldn't the "wheel" need to be completely separate from the "axle"? How could the wheel still be an actual part of the creature's body?

~*bleh*~
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29740: Dec 9th 2024 at 7:47:05 AM

Since wheels are not something that often occurs in nature, much less on a living organic creature, it might be possible instead for the creatures to evolve the "axle" and have them learn how to craft wheels to fit with those parts, helping them to move much faster. Similarly to how humans learned how to create shoes for our preexisting feet and other tools that correspond with or enhance our limbs/appendages.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Dec 9th 2024 at 7:58:50 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Cid El Cid Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Hiding
El Cid
#29741: Dec 9th 2024 at 10:33:07 AM

I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask. Would Royal Road be a good place to publish a serial novel that is NOT LitRPG? I'm writing a regular dark fantasy story and I'm flirting with the idea of turning it into a web novel but I don't know where to post it lol.

Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29742: Dec 9th 2024 at 10:47:50 AM

[up] @ Cid:

So I can't say that I'm familiar with Royal Road (I literally just looked it up now so that I could answer this question), but it certainly seems like a place where you could publish your story. I don't think there are any rules that require it to be a LitRPG. But again, I'm very unsure of how that would go, so don't take my word for it.

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29743: Dec 9th 2024 at 10:59:48 AM

So, this is a question I've been wondering about for a while but didn't exactly know how to phrase precisely.

Would it play havoc with my worldbuilding/story-system if I hinted that the Eldritch Abomination parasite that "created" the werewolves was at one point a key figure in the pantheon of an ancient religion?

To put into context, this story takes place in the "real world"; it is our world albeit with a huge supernatural community under humanity's collective nose. You've got your vampire covens, your werewolf packs, among a couple of other things, but there are no "higher level" entities like gods—at least not that anyone knows of. Afterlives, religion, etc is just as ambiguous to the supernaturals as it is to humans.

But this thing having ties (albeit in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it way) to an established religion obviously shakes that up. And it is intended to; one of the big themes of the story is that the world is far bigger and more mysterious than even supernatural beings themselves understand.

But I do wonder if it will cause more confusion with the readers than anything else.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Dec 9th 2024 at 11:00:12 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
MorningStar1337 The Encounter that ended the Dogma from 🤔 Since: Nov, 2012
The Encounter that ended the Dogma
#29744: Dec 9th 2024 at 11:23:26 AM

[up][up], [up][up][up] for what it's worth I am posting a story there is is Gamelit (subtly different from LitRPG) and am reading a more trad fantasy story there as well. One that is rather highly rated there despite the lack of TTRPG conventions.

Which is to say it is possible for you to post there and do well, but it isn't guaranteed. Otoh you might be facing less stiff competition depending on genre. (I think dark fantasy might be doable there fwiw)

Still it is worth checking into other platforms if you think Royal Road isn't the right or best one for your story. Abd also checking out the forums to ask relevant questions about whether or not your story would do well there (and to get a feel for the community)

Edited by MorningStar1337 on Dec 9th 2024 at 11:25:09 AM

Cid El Cid Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Hiding
El Cid
#29745: Dec 9th 2024 at 11:27:34 AM

Thanks for the tips. I didn't think to check their forums but that's a great idea!

Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29746: Dec 9th 2024 at 12:18:59 PM

Does anyone have any thoughts on my question?

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Cid El Cid Since: Jul, 2015 Relationship Status: Hiding
El Cid
#29747: Dec 9th 2024 at 3:52:29 PM

I guess it depends on which pantheon you use, and how much information you give with your hints.

If it's too vague, people may miss it and you won't lose anything. If it's too obvious, it may cause people to stop in their tracks, cause it may be seen as a recon to previously established lore. Depending on how important the parasite is, you'd have to do some foreshadowing so it doesn't seem pulled out of your butt.

A possible pitfall is that it may dilute a more interesting explanation for the parasite. For example, The Strain had a similar concept, and some people believe that the 'divine' origin of the virus was far less interesting than the scientific explanations from the previous books.

Swordofknowledge Spreading literacy with book and blade from I like it here... Since: Aug, 2012 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Spreading literacy with book and blade
#29748: Dec 9th 2024 at 4:41:27 PM

[up] @ Cid:

Thanks for the advice. The hints are supposed to be very vague since the bigger focus is more on how the parasite created werewolves than on where it came from, but those small little tidbits of information on its origin will let sharp-eyed readers see what I'm trying to hint at.

Depending on how important the parasite is, you'd have to do some foreshadowing so it doesn't seem pulled out of your butt.

I'm not sure if there's exactly foreshadowing done about this particular aspect of The Reveal, but it is known for a long time prior that some kind of highly powerful and unknown supernatural entity is responsible for the werewolves. But next-to-nothing about its nature (other than that it is a parasite that mindlessly seeks out hosts to possess and can exist within an infinite number of hosts at the same time) is mentioned until the massive information-dump that is the werewolf origin story.

Also, I do recall the origin of the vampires in The Strain (at least the origins in the books; I never saw the show) and I didn't even make the connection on how they're similar, but you have a point. I will say that in The Strain the divine origins were made starkly clear, while in this example it's much hazier with only tiny hints that the parasite was once a fearsome and powerful figure in that mythology before degenerating into its current form.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Dec 9th 2024 at 4:42:25 AM

Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Nukeli Since: Aug, 2018
#29749: Dec 10th 2024 at 9:58:40 PM

Do you think it would be possible to shove a dinner knife kind of like this (but a bit thinner especially at the end) deep enough into an adult humans eye socket that they'd die from the wound?

Edited by Nukeli on Dec 11th 2024 at 10:31:37 PM

~*bleh*~
CompletelyNormalGuy Am I a weirdo? from a place where folks put cream cheese on hot dogs (Oldest One in the Book)
Am I a weirdo?
#29750: Dec 10th 2024 at 10:54:16 PM

It's certainly possible. One thing that anyone who works in healthcare can tell you is that human beings are both shockingly durable and shockingly fragile. The answer to "Could someone die in this specific way?" is almost always "Yes," and the answer to "Could someone survive this specific thing?" is usually also "Yes," unless chunky salsa is involved.

If you want the person to die relatively quickly, blood loss is how it's happening. There's lots of blood vessels around the eyes, so that's certainly a possibility, especially if the wound isn't treated quickly. If the stabbing victim passes out from shock, then they'd be unable to put pressure on the wound themselves. Keep in mind that they'd bleed out a lot faster if the knife is removed from the wound. If you want the person to survive the initial encounter, but die later, an infection in that area would be dangerous even in our modern era of antibiotics. In a pre-antibiotic era, surviving such an infection would be decidedly unlikely.

Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.

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