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DeMarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#2151: Jan 26th 2019 at 6:25:30 AM

"I've got a dillemma of odd proportions..."

Critics and Writing teachers have this problem all the time. The best approach isnt to focus on the quality of his writing, but on improvement. If he has no clue regarding grammer and syntax, start there. If he doesnt include any form of character development, tell him his main character should change in some way. Or whatever it is. You look for one concrete improvement he could make that would incrementally improve his writing, and never mention anything else (until he masters the initial challenge). Otherwise you compliment the effort he puts into it.

As for the racist guy, a simple set of rules regarding respectful interaction and discussion should cover it.

Edited by DeMarquis on Jan 26th 2019 at 9:26:06 AM

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Andermann Since: Aug, 2018 Relationship Status: Desperate
#2152: Jan 28th 2019 at 1:31:04 AM

So I... uhhh... I got a problem with "unoriginal" writing, as in "I don't like it when my idea is similar to the already existing one even though I know that's almost unavoidable"

To the point that I actively avoid popular media so I won't feel like I plagiarised anything, but every once in a while I will hear some pieces of pop culture from my friends and realize how alarmingly unoriginal I am and fall into depression for a few week.

Like last year I had a mental break down because apparently Adventure Guild is not an original idea(Woah, can you believe it?/s)

I broke down and almost deleted all my writing... because I saw the word "Adventurer's Guild", what's wrong with me?

Edited by Andermann on Jan 28th 2019 at 5:45:13 PM

I'm afraid to write, but I like to imagine.
CrystalGlacia from at least we're not detroit Since: May, 2009
#2153: Jan 28th 2019 at 6:44:53 AM

"Nothing is new under the sun." It's a common piece of writing advice, and it essentially means what it says. In a similar vein, ideas are cheap. When you break any piece of media down to its constituent elements, you're going to find other, older media that have used those same elements in the past, and that have probably used those elements more effectively, too. Doesn't matter how good you or any established body thinks the work is. J. R. R. Tolkien is widely considered to be the father of modern Western fantasy, but he openly lifted content from a ton of European folklore. Nineteen Eighty-Four is a terrifyingly relevant cautionary tale, but it wasn't the first Dystopia. Star Wars: A New Hope is a classic of American cinema and science fiction, but it was inspired by works as diverse as Flash Gordon, old samurai films, westerns, and classical heroic epics. Go check out the trope pages for your favorite works, and see how many other works share elements with your favorites.

Does that make those works just a bunch of stereotypical, hackneyed garbage worthy only of scorn, or not worth paying attention to at all? Does that mean every piece of media in existence is no better than an essay copied from Wikipedia by a lazy student? Not necessarily.

What makes a piece of media feel novel, fresh, or simply just good is not the newness of its parts, but the way those parts play off of each other, and the way the stories as a whole are executed. A Song of Ice and Fire, The Hobbit, How to Train Your Dragon, Dragon Ball, and Pokémon all feature dragons, but we wouldn't consider any of their dragons to be interchangeable, and they're not hackneyed simply for having mythologically-inspired reptiles. In each of those works, the dragons have differing characteristics, and they serve different roles to the story, setting, and characters. It is not the mere presence of dragons, or any other element that matters, but the way the element is handled and used. Hell, one of my strategies for figuring out how to execute an idea is seeing if there's a trope for what I'm trying to do, and reading the trope page to figure out how other works have used that thing.

In short, don't worry too much about the novelty of the individual pieces of your story, and definitely not this early in the game. Instead, think about what they do for your story as a whole, the specific details of those pieces, and the quality and execution of your writing.

Edited by CrystalGlacia on Jan 28th 2019 at 1:01:40 PM

"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
DeMarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#2154: Jan 28th 2019 at 9:32:47 AM

Here is your homework: you must go out and deliberately steal as many story elements as you can for your next work, change only one or two things to make it original, and write a complete story from the result. This story will be yours and you should end up feeling proud of it. Keep doing this until the process become second nature, and you can stop worrying about it.

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
RustBeard Since: Sep, 2016
#2155: Jan 28th 2019 at 12:51:17 PM

Is my character ungrateful? To explain, this character is forced to leave their home out of fear for their safety. A friend of theirs agrees to take them in. However, this friend seems to have an ulterior motive for taking them in. In addition, this friend does things like making this character sleep in a room that's uncomfortable. This character is of course resentful of this treatment. My question is does this character come off as ungrateful? The audience might see living in a small room as a small price to pay to live somewhere that's safe. Am I wrong?

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#2156: Jan 28th 2019 at 1:16:24 PM

That doesnt'make them inherently ungrateful. People tend to hate sucky situations, even if it's the only thing they got.

Read my stories!
DeMarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#2157: Jan 28th 2019 at 1:47:52 PM

It might, but that would a good opportunity for some character development.

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
Sharysa Since: Jan, 2001
#2158: Jan 29th 2019 at 4:03:14 PM

Depending on how "small" the room is, nobody would blame him for hating cramped quarters.

If the room also has crap insulation and he's boiling/freezing at the mercy of the weather WITHOUT any help from his friend, that can tip from "shitty but tolerable" into "human rights violation."

And seeing as the "friend" holds his debt over his head to force him into that situation, there'd definitely be people going "bro, he's a shitty friend."

JackOLantern1337 Shameful Display from The Most Miserable Province in the Russian Empir Since: Aug, 2014 Relationship Status: 700 wives and 300 concubines
Shameful Display
#2159: Feb 1st 2019 at 1:29:38 PM

Do you think anyone would want to buy a military sci fi book with Mecha? Their don't seem to be many of those and I thought a book like that might give me a unique Niche. Also giant robots and space battles are cool.

I Bring Doom,and a bit of gloom, but mostly gloom.
LeGarcon Blowout soon fellow Stalker from Skadovsk Since: Aug, 2013 Relationship Status: Gay for Big Boss
Blowout soon fellow Stalker
#2160: Feb 1st 2019 at 1:34:48 PM

Niche?

Gundam is like one of the biggest franchises of all time.

Oh really when?
JackOLantern1337 Shameful Display from The Most Miserable Province in the Russian Empir Since: Aug, 2014 Relationship Status: 700 wives and 300 concubines
Shameful Display
#2161: Feb 1st 2019 at 4:28:14 PM

[up] Mecha Books not Mecha itself. Sorry should have clarified.

I Bring Doom,and a bit of gloom, but mostly gloom.
DeMarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#2162: Feb 1st 2019 at 6:38:34 PM

I would buy a military sci fi book if it came with a mecha.

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
eagleoftheninth Keep Calm and Parry On from Cauldron Epsilon Since: May, 2013 Relationship Status: With my statistically significant other
Keep Calm and Parry On
#2163: Feb 1st 2019 at 6:44:29 PM

People are buying Pacific Rim novels, so evidently yes. The mecha genre is very visually-oriented in general, so do consider teaming up with an artist.

Echoing hymn of my fellow passerine | Art blog (under construction)
eagleoftheninth Keep Calm and Parry On from Cauldron Epsilon Since: May, 2013 Relationship Status: With my statistically significant other
Keep Calm and Parry On
#2164: Feb 5th 2019 at 4:57:58 PM

Haiku of the day:

Make children wear green
Give them rifles, call them men
Call it deterrence.

Echoing hymn of my fellow passerine | Art blog (under construction)
MarqFJA The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer from Deserts of the Middle East (Before Recorded History) Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
The Cosmopolitan Fictioneer
#2165: Feb 6th 2019 at 8:03:45 AM

[up] ... And that's on-topic, how?


When should a sapient race's name be preceded with the definite article when it starts a paragraph in a passage that is introducing them (e.g. in the lead section of an encyclopedia-style article/document that describes said race)? I notice in a lot of fantasy and sci-fi fiction that we humans almost never have the definite article precede our name, whereas sapient nonhuman races practically always do have that done, even when it's obvious that said races aren't being treated as "nationalities" (e.g. in Mass Effect, no alien race's name is derived from that of their origin planet, and in cases like the asari they're even divided into separate nations with their own political governments on their own homeworld).

Edited by MarqFJA on Feb 6th 2019 at 7:04:34 PM

Fiat iustitia, et pereat mundus.
AdeptGaderius Otaku from the Anime World Since: Nov, 2018 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Otaku
#2166: Feb 6th 2019 at 4:39:05 PM

[up] Take for example, when introducing the species in your story for the first time or indicating a specific individual of the species as a enigmatic character. This writing style is used like 'The German sniper aimed at the advancing car parade,' or 'The Russians came as immigrants to the country,' and other examples.


Other than this, I need someone to critique my story at the Constructive Criticism Thread because the previous poster didn't critique the story and the lack of activity.

The previous poster, wolfofthewest, who promised to critique The Cambion had to take a leave because he was suspended. He promised me he'll critique the story a day or two but he wasn't responding at the thread now.

The Terror from Paradise: A Collaborative Story
n3rd_d4sh plant from Parts Unknown Since: Oct, 2014 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
plant
#2167: Feb 6th 2019 at 10:24:04 PM

So, I'm thinking of making the protagonist in one of my stories somewhat sexist. Basically, after her boyfriend breaks up with her, she develops a distaste for males in general. The problem is that a) I don't wanna make it so she's too unlikable and b) I want her to eventually change her outlook and no longer have hatred to men, in a way that isn't too heavy handed, or comes across as "lol troll the sjw libtards" or something like that. Essentially still make her likeable while still portraying her in the wrong. Any advice or pointers?

If this is a touchy subject for any of you, I understand and I can leave this thread or delete this post or something of the sort.

" I'm the princess! Everyone has to do what I say!"
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#2168: Feb 6th 2019 at 11:33:06 PM

So "sexism" is a complicated topic, so instead of saying you want her to be kind of sexist, why don't you say what attitudes and habits you want her to exhibit.

Read my stories!
n3rd_d4sh plant from Parts Unknown Since: Oct, 2014 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
plant
#2169: Feb 7th 2019 at 12:11:59 AM

Well, in that case, her name is Clara. She's generally pretty lazy, slow, un-athletic, ditzy and impatient, but at the same time can be kind and chill. In my story though, she's given a very "active" roll, which without getting into too much of the story, as it requires some explaining, is essentially the equivalent of a Police Officer or such.

" I'm the princess! Everyone has to do what I say!"
MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#2170: Feb 7th 2019 at 12:14:29 AM

No as in, what attitudes does she exhibit as a result of her boyfriend breaking up with her.

Read my stories!
n3rd_d4sh plant from Parts Unknown Since: Oct, 2014 Relationship Status: Gone fishin'
plant
#2171: Feb 7th 2019 at 1:26:16 AM

Oh right. Well, on that subject then, she's depressive and mildly anxiety-induced. She knows it's not her fault, so she's looking for anyone or thing to blame, since they were perfectly happy together one day, but he just suddenly lost interest the next.

" I'm the princess! Everyone has to do what I say!"
DeMarquis Who Am I? from Hell, USA Since: Feb, 2010 Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
#2172: Feb 7th 2019 at 11:57:33 AM

@Marq: I'm not a grammer expert by any means, but I think it comes down to how strongly you want to emphasize a contrast with another group from whom they are different in some way. So, "Humans are tall" is a simple statement of opinion. "The Humans are tall" implies that most other species are not as tall as they are. Both statement mean more or less the same thing, but emphasize different implications of that meaning.

@Adept: I can commit to reviewing your work over the weekend if you post it there.

@Njrd: I think it's a matter of showing, not telling, and you should be fine. If, after her boyfriend breaks up with her, you simply show her avoiding other men or conversing with them less politely, or complaining more to her friends about men in general, without the narration openly pointing this out, and then later these behaviors go away, presumably after something happens to change her attitude, I think most readers will be able to follow the implications well enough. This will be especially poignant if the reason he broke up with her is evident to the reader but not to the character. I dont think sexism will be a problem per se, as a lot of people have experienced this very phenomenon in their own lives.

"We learn from history that we do not learn from history."
AdeptGaderius Otaku from the Anime World Since: Nov, 2018 Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
Otaku
#2173: Feb 7th 2019 at 2:20:53 PM

@DeMarquis: This the link to the story: The Cambion. You can dedicate reveiwing it in the weekend if you have the time. Be sure to comprehensively check all of the writing style by checking on strengths, weaknesses and other points. And oh, this is the link to the Constructive Criticism Thread

The Terror from Paradise: A Collaborative Story
ArsThaumaturgis Since: Nov, 2011 Relationship Status: I've been dreaming of True Love's Kiss
#2174: Feb 7th 2019 at 8:16:49 PM

@Marq: I'm guessing, but my impression is that that the use of "the" implies two things:

  • First, that the group being referenced is being referenced as a whole, as a mass, not as a collection of individuals.
  • And second, that the group is being viewed from an external perspective, whether by a member of another group, or by a member of the referenced group who has a disinterested perspective.

I do think that I've seen the term "the humans" used, and my—admittedly rather vague—impression is that it tends to come from non-human characters. A member of an alien species complains about the day that "the humans came and waged war upon us", an elf speaks on how inelegant and dirty "the humans" are, a cat speaks about how "the humans take good care of our kind", and so on.

Further, it may be that part of the reason that we don't use such a term for ourselves, even when taking disinterested perspectives, is that we have other terms for such cases: "humankind", and "humanity". These may be lacking in the case of other species.

But again, I am guessing somewhat, so take all of that with some salt.

My Games & Writing
AgentKirin Since: Aug, 2017
#2175: Feb 17th 2019 at 2:45:42 PM

I've got a Nominal Hero for a Sixth Ranger, who came to the area trying to avoid the things that keep attacking him and triggering his Lovecraftian Superpower. I plan to have him join the heroes later on, but I'm not sure how to give them much meaningful interaction first. They might cross paths a couple times by coincidence (as both he and the hero team are traveling around the same region), and one character might know something about his condition (she does, but not much), but how might I go about getting a guy who's just looking for some peace and quiet to actually cooperate with them?


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