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Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

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Arutema Since: Aug, 2009 Relationship Status: Hoping Senpai notices me
onFyre Science! from Blighty Since: Apr, 2009
Science!
#1352: Feb 21st 2013 at 11:42:45 AM

If I'm planning a game of deathwatch, I should probably not put my playlist of brony songs on. Even though 'The Pegasus Device' would have been an awesome name for a MacGuffin.

If one of my players is a huge fan of League Of Legends, and another one really hates it, I should double check that none of my NPCs' names share the first or last syllables with any of the champions.

If the data the players are after is on a submarine, it helps if I know a bit about how submarines work.

And speaking of submarines, not allowed to complain that I wasted an hour designing awesome xeno sharks when my players remind me that space marines don't actually bleed.

edited 21st Feb '13 12:00:07 PM by onFyre

Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#1353: Feb 21st 2013 at 1:11:42 PM

Solution for the problem of Rock and Roll Bard:

  • Have an Artificer in the party.
  • Have him/her construct the Bard an electric lute.
  • Invent metal.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
KyleJacobs from DC - Southern efficiency, Northern charm Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: One True Dodecahedron
#1354: Feb 21st 2013 at 1:40:06 PM

I like my way better: Ask the GM to let you play a Tiefling bard who happens to be the Anthropomorphic Personification of metal.

Muramasan13 Since: Nov, 2009 Relationship Status: Not war
#1355: Feb 22nd 2013 at 6:34:33 PM

-No longer allowed to have Fast Healing greater than my max HP.

-I do not possess, nor do any of my characters have, a "hitbox".

-In GURPS, not allowed to take Vulnerability: Death for free points. Especially not if I'm already functionally immortal.

edited 22nd Feb '13 6:38:51 PM by Muramasan13

Smile for me!
Midna Blorbonmyoji (he/she/they) from way down south in the land of the traitors (Old as dirt) Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
Blorbonmyoji (he/she/they)
#1356: Feb 23rd 2013 at 11:00:12 AM

  • Chaotic Asshole is not an alignment.
  • When fighting a monster in a cave, not allowed to just "shoot the ceiling and hope for a cave-in".
  • No puns are to be made regarding the facial features of Beholders.
  • Ale may have been required for nourishment back in the Middle Ages due to lack of water purification, but I probably shouldn't drink so much as to pass out on the floor in a pool of beer and vomit.
  • Not allowed to shout "It's Them!" when attacked by giant ants.

edited 23rd Feb '13 11:01:02 AM by Midna

pearlina brainrot affects millions of people worldwide. if you or a loved one are suffering from pearlina brainrot, call 1-800-GAY-NERDS
Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#1357: Feb 23rd 2013 at 3:24:11 PM

Not allowed to one-shot a miniboss with nothing but a cestus.

edited 24th Feb '13 8:02:47 AM by Exelixi

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Pentigan Fwomph from The Underverse Since: Apr, 2010
Fwomph
#1358: Feb 23rd 2013 at 3:30:21 PM

If the reason for doing anything in Exalted involves "I read it in a fanfic once", the character gets zapped.

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
IraTheSquire Since: Apr, 2010
#1359: Feb 24th 2013 at 5:03:25 AM

-play an Irish character named "Jack o'Lantern"

-play a Viking with the Lame disadvantage in a Romans vs Vikings setting.

LizardBite Shameless Self-Promoter from Two Galaxies Over Since: Jan, 2001
#1360: Feb 25th 2013 at 6:55:51 PM

My Changeling cannot be a water elemental with 5 dots in Craft and the specialization "Basket".

Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#1361: Feb 25th 2013 at 6:58:39 PM

Underwater Basket Weaving ?

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
SlendidSuit Freelance Worrywart from Probably a Pub Since: Oct, 2011
Freelance Worrywart
#1363: Feb 26th 2013 at 7:33:21 AM

Apparently I'm not allowed to decapitate an unconscious dragon to stop it from getting back up and molesting us.
What the fuck, my party?

Gimme yer lunch money, dweeb.
SpookyMask Since: Jan, 2011
#1364: Feb 26th 2013 at 9:34:36 AM

Aren't dragons kind of too big to cleanly cut their heads off?

SlendidSuit Freelance Worrywart from Probably a Pub Since: Oct, 2011
Freelance Worrywart
#1365: Feb 26th 2013 at 9:39:29 AM

Who said it'd be clean?

Gimme yer lunch money, dweeb.
SpookyMask Since: Jan, 2011
#1366: Feb 26th 2013 at 11:08:29 AM

But it would then wake up and burn you if you can't kill it in one strike :P

Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#1367: Feb 26th 2013 at 3:16:34 PM

Unconscious, not asleep.

Also, the fucking Scout pulled a Han Solo and shot it from the blue. Why are you getting reprimanded?

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
Whowho Since: May, 2012
#1368: Feb 26th 2013 at 5:01:37 PM

Apparently selling the two Changelings to the hunter conspiracy Big Bad isn't approved of, bedlam ocoured before I could finish the sentence.

Regardless of the fact I was bluffing.

RedM Since: Oct, 2012 Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time
#1369: Feb 26th 2013 at 9:26:47 PM

My first time playing D&D.

DM: You all wake up in a field. To the east you see a fountain, with ornate carvings and runes-

Me: I pee in the fountain.

DM: What?

Me: My crazy old wizard lifts his robe and takes a leak in the magic fountain or whatever.

DM: You can't just-

Everyone else: Yeah, we're all gonna pee in the fountain, too.

Needless to say, I'm not allowed to answer nature's call anymore.

The very best, like no one ever was. Check out my Spider-Man fanfic here! [1]
GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#1370: Feb 26th 2013 at 10:18:19 PM

Red M confirmed for Chaotic Funny

Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#1371: Feb 27th 2013 at 8:13:46 AM

  • My veteran paranoia is not allowed to prevent a TPK unless it's in-character.

....

...

  • Never again am I ever, ever allowed to play a paranoid character.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#1372: Feb 27th 2013 at 9:10:26 AM

Speaking of Paranoia...

  • Killing Richard's character is funny once. Killing him until he goes on an accusation spree that gets him killed once more for good measure... is hilarious.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
MarkVonLewis Since: Jun, 2010
#1373: Feb 27th 2013 at 7:45:20 PM

Apparently you cannot use alchemy in D&D to cook meth to raise some extra gold for the party.

Exelixi Lesbarian from Alchemist's workshop Since: Sep, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love
Lesbarian
#1374: Feb 28th 2013 at 7:01:29 AM

Speaking of....

  • Even if my warlock and/or cleric and/or blackguard gets her powers from Azmodeus, her battle cry is not "Smoke Meth Hail Satan."
    • Nor si that the verbal component for any of her spells.

Mura: -flips the bird to veterinary science with one hand and Euclidean geometry with the other-
SlendidSuit Freelance Worrywart from Probably a Pub Since: Oct, 2011
Freelance Worrywart
#1375: Mar 1st 2013 at 6:33:19 AM

No, blowing up a meth lab and the enormous Dog meat factory it was hidden in does not count as proportionate retribution.

edited 1st Mar '13 6:33:34 AM by SlendidSuit

Gimme yer lunch money, dweeb.

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