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Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

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darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#451: Sep 30th 2011 at 3:23:46 PM

Sounds like a weapon Travis Touchdown would appreciate.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#452: Sep 30th 2011 at 3:26:25 PM

[up][up] To be honest, I kind of stuck that one in for the hell of it.

BlueNinja0 The Mod with the Migraine from Taking a left at Albuquerque Since: Dec, 2010 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
The Mod with the Migraine
#453: Oct 1st 2011 at 6:40:21 AM

Hey now, if the Stainless Steel Rat can beat someone about the head with a giant salami, then so can I!

That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw
AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#454: Oct 1st 2011 at 8:48:51 AM

Wait,what?

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
#455: Oct 1st 2011 at 12:29:06 PM

These were for a character I played in a Changeling The Lost LARP (Wizened Artist).

  • Red Bull is not an acceptable substitute for Glamour fruit.
  • Watching Bruce Lee movies for 24 hours straight doesn't work as a training action for Linguistics: Chinese.
  • If my list of Crafts specializations goes over two pages, I can't have any more.
  • Not allowed to advance what science considers possible.
  • No laser guns.
    • No glamor-powered energy weapons at all, come to think of it.
  • It isn't spelled "LAZOR" and it does not stand for "Long Awesome Zapper of Radness"
  • Wal-Mart does not carry weapons-grade plutonium, not even in the "sporting goods" department.
  • Weaponizing common household tools and items is right out.
    • Especially leaf blowers, microwave ovens and weed whackers.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#456: Oct 1st 2011 at 1:17:35 PM

I am not allowed to print this thread out, take it to a session and use it as a checklist.

stevebat Since: Nov, 2009
#457: Oct 2nd 2011 at 11:46:50 AM

As a bard I am not allowed to use compulsion to make mooks read books of Eldritch Lore aloud.

Apocalypse: Dirge Of Swans.
Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#458: Oct 2nd 2011 at 3:08:28 PM

  • I am not allowed to use Decanters of Endless Water to launch spikes as a ranged weapon.
  • I am not to render the Disable Device skill useless by just Eldritch Blasting every trapdoor, caltrop, guillotine, and magic symbol we come across.

...and that's terrible.
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#459: Oct 2nd 2011 at 6:54:18 PM

  1. There is no such thing as an "optional slam dunk rule" in pool. Not even for halflings.
  2. No matter how well I roll for my stats, my investigator does not eat 1d3 Cthulhu per round.
  3. My druid's wild shape must have a central nervous system.
  4. As a matter of fact, I do have to outrun the dragon, and cannot just outrun the disliked party member I just polymorphed into a cow.
  5. Regardless of my wizard's level, I will find a more subtle way of navigating the elemental plane of water than teleporting the planet Saturn into it and watching which way it floats.
  6. If the party needs to help the bard carry his instrument, they're not recruiting him.
  7. If my character's entire combat strategy hinges upon the opponent agreeing to a log rolling contest, he will likewise be sitting in the unemployment line.
  8. Hiring a plumber to follow me around will not allow me to trigger my lycanthropy at will.
  9. The ship's navigational computer does not recognize "the Side Quest system" as a valid destination.
  10. I cannot shape my spell's area of effect into a Klein bottle "just to see what would happen."

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#461: Oct 2nd 2011 at 8:39:02 PM

I assume it's some kind of horrible pun on the word "moon".

hotelkilo Board Certified Sorcerer from In the Hole Since: Jun, 2010 Relationship Status: I like big bots and I can not lie
Board Certified Sorcerer
#462: Oct 3rd 2011 at 7:58:09 PM

Only one I can think of offhand: If an idea makes me smile, it's out. If it makes me laugh and/or giggle it is to never be spoken aloud again.

Let God do His work, we will see to ours. Bring in the candles.
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#463: Oct 4th 2011 at 12:20:35 PM

Simons I am not allowed to take inspiration from: Jeeha, Templar, Cowell. Tam is acceptable for now.

Pentigan Fwomph from The Underverse Since: Apr, 2010
Fwomph
#464: Oct 5th 2011 at 2:28:21 AM

[up] What about Lane?

It's clearly a case of backroom political albumizing.
CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#465: Oct 5th 2011 at 11:29:45 AM

Never heard of 'im.

Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#466: Oct 5th 2011 at 11:34:00 AM

  • My warforged is not voiced by Microsoft Sam.

...and that's terrible.
Kayeka (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#467: Oct 5th 2011 at 12:18:29 PM

  • While simply 'hero-ing' our way through the problems has proven to be quite effective, the DM would appreciate it if we would at least consider sneaky and/or more subtle options.
  • Because of the former, Plan A is no longer "find an underling and beat the shit out of him".
  • Also, Plan B is no longer "Find the seediest tavern in town and loudly declare who you are looking for".
  • Plan C is not "Wait in a back alley to get ambushed by some guys that conveniently carry a valuable clue"

edited 5th Oct '11 12:31:55 PM by Kayeka

Diamonnes In Riastrad from Ulster Since: Nov, 2009
In Riastrad
#468: Oct 5th 2011 at 1:47:28 PM

'Aardvark' is not a suitable language choice. Especially not if my character is not a Druid.

No matter how badass a speech I give, I cannot recruit the pack of lycanthropes. Especially if the foe they would be required to face is a vampire clan.

Any charcter with more than one template is vetoed.

edited 5th Oct '11 1:49:10 PM by Diamonnes

My name is Cu Chulainn. Beside the raging sea I am left to moan. Sorrow I am, for I brought down my only son.
Rationalinsanity from Halifax, Canada Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: It's complicated
#469: Oct 5th 2011 at 3:45:51 PM

No longer allowed to describe results from Martial Arts and Melee Weapons hits that make veterans of Dark Heresy cringe. No matter how much that Blakist had it coming.

edited 5th Oct '11 3:46:01 PM by Rationalinsanity

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#470: Oct 5th 2011 at 5:06:58 PM

  1. My Star Wars character's concept had damn well better consist of more than "that sailor from Family Guy but with lightsabers instead of pegs."
  2. My Death Watch character concept should likewise consist of more than "just like my Star Wars character, but with chainswords."
  3. My Cinematic Unisystem character concept can definitely not be "just like my Death Watch character, but also a robot werewolf." this is actually possible in Cinematic Unisystem, with nothing but the Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Army Of Darkness core books. Zero exaggeration.

edited 5th Oct '11 5:10:45 PM by darnpenguin

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#471: Oct 5th 2011 at 5:10:04 PM

I may not cut off my hand and attach a Flesh Grinder weapon to the stump.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#472: Oct 5th 2011 at 5:22:55 PM

Necromancers are fun.

  • I may not Raise people just so I can kill them again for extra XP.
  • I am not allowed to disguise myself as the Grim Reaper and claim "official business" in order to get a discount.
  • I am not to "Loiter around looking creepy" in order to get arrested because I rolled so badly I can't figure out the biggest building in town in the palace.

CountDorku Behold my legal acumen! from the depths of insanity (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Behold my legal acumen!
#473: Oct 5th 2011 at 5:24:22 PM

Not allowed to use Resonance to assassinate NPC's I don't like.

Also: There is no combination of Charms, not even heretical ones based off SWLIHN and Malfeas, that allow me to play the Anvil Song and cause anvils to materialize ten feet above the heads of my enemies.

edited 6th Oct '11 2:50:47 PM by CountDorku

AckSed Pat. St. of Archive Binge from Pure Imagination Since: Jan, 2001
Pat. St. of Archive Binge
#474: Oct 10th 2011 at 5:32:06 AM

I am also not allowed Gauntlets of Ogre Power in combination with green bodypaint.

edited 10th Oct '11 5:33:37 AM by AckSed

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Canidaemon I found porn! Since: Aug, 2010
I found porn!
#475: Oct 10th 2011 at 2:01:52 PM

My elven Monk can't deal lethal damage with his "razor sharp elf ears". He kicks and punches like everyone else.

My plans to bring down the Lawful Evil Big Bad must go beyond seducing and marrying his mother simply so I can tell him to go to his room and think about what he's done.

WOOF!

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