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Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

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Medinoc from France (Before Recorded History)
#251: May 23rd 2011 at 1:30:44 PM

[up]No, you don't understand, you cut them off so people can't kick you there.

(joke aside, if after one kick too many, they become non-functional yet still painful, they lose all use and become a liability...)

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
Michael So that's what this does Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
So that's what this does
#252: May 23rd 2011 at 1:40:17 PM

Well, it stopped the GM giving a metaphorical kick there. So yes, you are correct.

Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#253: May 24th 2011 at 8:16:10 AM

You broke my mind. Ow.

  • I cannot kill Death because he's...you know...DEATH. Killing him would only confirm his existance.

Yes, I killed Death. No, it didn't help. After my plan failed we got by him by Van Helsing challenging him to a drinking competition and winning.

Medinoc from France (Before Recorded History)
#254: May 24th 2011 at 8:18:15 AM

Why would Death work for Dracula anyway?

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
Vorthon from a pale blue dot Since: Feb, 2010
#255: May 24th 2011 at 8:37:26 AM

A little note for the P Cs in my (Rebooted) old-school RP campaign:

  • Just because the first room in the current dungeon has rotting pieces of leather on the floor and a 'mural of vile acts' on the ceiling, it does not mean we're in an abandoned S&M dungeon.

(generated the dungeon using stuff from http://donjon.bin.sh. Great for random stuff.)

edited 24th May '11 8:37:40 AM by Vorthon

"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. Clarke
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#256: May 24th 2011 at 8:39:58 AM

  • In the age of Lulu, "it's in a published sourcebook" is no longer a valid defense for a character.
  • I will not consult the phone book when trying to come up with a name for my character.
    • Or the back of a German power metal album.
    • Or the nearest player's character sheet.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#257: May 24th 2011 at 9:09:46 AM

Why would Death work for Dracula anyway? Here's a theory:

Maybe he wants to get close enough to him so he can finally find the weakness of the one soul he has failed to collect at the proper time?wild mass guess Maybe he thinks he the only one who can do it and if he loses Dracula's trust his one oppurtunity to stab him in the back is lost?wild mass guess

Or maybe he's just been Dominated.

darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#258: May 24th 2011 at 6:36:56 PM

Um, in Portrait Of Ruin, Death lets Dracula use soul steal on him in the final fight. Not exactly something The Starscream would do.

Anyway...

  • Revving a chainsaw can give me a bonus to my intimidate rolls. Holding up an ordinary axe and screaming "vroom bragga bragga" in a gravelly voice cannot.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Canidaemon I found porn! Since: Aug, 2010
I found porn!
#259: May 25th 2011 at 7:20:48 AM

  • When asked what my changeling's durance was like, I am not allowed to pull a Tool video out of youtube and say nothing.
    • Lady Gaga videos are also right out.
  • A kobold using its shifty power is not moonwalking, so it's not required for me to shout "hee-hee!" for effect.
  • When playing/DMing Requiem for Rome, ANY reference to Life of Brian will result in my immediate expulsion; even if we are playing in my own home.
  • Character inspiration for a Toon game: Felix the Cat good, Fritz the Cat BAD!

WOOF!
Usht Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard from an arbitrary view point. Since: Feb, 2011
Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard
#260: May 26th 2011 at 11:47:18 PM

Okay, so true portal plus a giant tower. Basically dropped about 400 tons of rock and such on a major big bad of the campaign and killed him in a single shot. When in doubt, drop something really heavy on the bad guys. It doesn't change the fact that if we ever try to do it again, the portal's going to malfunction and drop it on our party.

The thing about making witty signature lines is that it first needs to actually be witty.
Mao What? Since: May, 2011
What?
#261: May 27th 2011 at 11:58:35 AM

No matter how cool my electricity mage is, I am not The Emperor, nor is it OVER NINE-THOUSAND

A rod of many wands+three wands of magic missle=/ Boomstick, and I am not Ash Williams

"To fan the flames of war is to burn the land away"
RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#262: May 27th 2011 at 8:28:09 PM

Die. After I committed suicide to "get away from these idiots", I was sent to he'll, where I pissed my deity off so much they sent me back.

My character is now punished with having to adventure with the bastards. By the time I was revived, they had already looted me. It was awkward, and I'm still out 5K gold... >_<

Needless to say, I gave my god the middle finger, was struck dead, and revived again.

Death Is a Slap on the Wrist now...

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#264: May 27th 2011 at 9:39:47 PM

The fact that they could still hear my intangible spirit might have affected that...

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
Usht Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard from an arbitrary view point. Since: Feb, 2011
Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard
#265: May 28th 2011 at 12:16:44 PM

I so need to try that now.

The thing about making witty signature lines is that it first needs to actually be witty.
Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#266: May 28th 2011 at 7:52:03 PM

Today I learned about medevil law:

  • I am not required to pay reparations for property damage if Dracula asks me too.
  • Dracula cannot perform a citizens arrest on me or my party for breaking and entering.
  • I AM NOT TO ARREST DRACULA!

Well it ALMOST worked...

RenaTheArchmage Actually, it's Euphinatrix. from the Factory Since: Oct, 2009
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
#267: May 28th 2011 at 8:49:00 PM

Also, I'm no longer allowed to try to sell my faith to the highest bidder. Especially if it involves looking up at the sky and demanding gold for my faith.

Different character, same end. I got struck by lightning... Survived, cursed the god, and was struck again.

Needless to say, the two followers of the Goddess Martel hated me.

They were the same two people that hated my racist, anti-elf elf.

I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#268: Jun 18th 2011 at 7:22:28 AM

The Dai-Galleon only gives me +15 to intimidate checks. Not an automatic success. Even though its arms have ballistas mounted Gangsta Style.

...and that's terrible.
TriggerLoaded from Canada, eh? (4 Score & 7 Years Ago) Relationship Status: Healthy, deeply-felt respect for this here Shotgun
#269: Jun 18th 2011 at 11:13:33 AM

(Some of these are based on things I've done, some on things I've wanted to do, and some are just stuff I made up. One is based on what another player tried to do.)

  • I am allowed to moon the Big Bad. I am allowed to tell him off by saying "Kiss my Hairy Little Halfling Ass!" I am NOT allowed to give a live-action demonstration.

  • On a quest of absolution, when I have been roleplaying the doubt and resolve properly and deeply, and fully embracing the way of Good, not allowed to finish by dancing and singing "Absolved! The two greatest words in the Common Tonuge! Ab-Solved! Ab-Solved! Ab-Solved!"
    • Pelvic thrusts are right out.

  • The "Holy Word" spell is not a swear word.
  • "Dictum" is not my god screaming "BANNED."
  • The Deity of Law's Maul, or the Spiritual Weapon, is not the Banhammer.
  • The ultra-powerful artifact that turns back time is not the Ring of Quicksaving.
  • The vocal component for Irresistable Dance is not the Safety Dance.
    • At the very least, can stop quoting it every time I cast.
  • No combining every prestige class and feat that features rerolls, and then claiming my character can see past the fourth wall.
    • No passing it off as "worshipping the true force of power in the world, the Twenty-Sided.

  • (Female) No offering to show my breasts for in-game favors, bonus XP, or a reroll. The Munchkin will insist he is eligable if he shows his man-tits as well.

  • Urinating on the dead bodies of our enemies may not be a pure evil action, but it sure as hell isn't a good one. No matter how evil the opponent was.

  • The GM offering bonus XP for hurting me, the player, is just a joke to show his annoyance at the last pun I made. I won't actually get any, no matter how hard I punch myself in the groin.

Don't take life too seriously. It's only a temporary situation.
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#270: Jun 18th 2011 at 12:33:42 PM

If I am the mission's sole survivor, I am not allowed to cobble together a new friend out of my late squadmates' cybernetics.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Medinoc from France (Before Recorded History)
#271: Jun 18th 2011 at 2:47:55 PM

[up]I lol'd [lol]

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."
Vorthon from a pale blue dot Since: Feb, 2010
#272: Jun 18th 2011 at 4:44:36 PM

[up][up]

I just got this hilarious mental picture of some twitchy guy covered in bloodstains standing next to some freakish jury-rigged robot saying:

"This is my new friend. I call him George. I made him from parts of my friends who died. It was messy."

And then said twitchy guy breaking down into demented cackling.

"If there are any gods whose chief concern is man, they can't be very important gods." - Arthur C. Clarke
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#273: Jun 18th 2011 at 8:35:03 PM

Yeah, unfortunately there's no real story to go along with that one. I just made it up. It'd make a great webcomic gag or something, though.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Kayeka (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
#274: Jun 19th 2011 at 5:10:24 AM

  • I am no longer allowed to press the Hallelujah Button whenever my Paladin uses a daily power.
    • Or an encounter power.
      • ESPECIALLY not when it's an at-will power. There will be smiting.

LatwPIAT Since: Jan, 2001
#275: Jun 19th 2011 at 7:25:40 AM

Mr Welch is no longer Not allowed to politely knock on doors in hostile territory.

edited 19th Jun '11 7:25:51 AM by LatwPIAT

Things I like: Ghost In The Shell |Serial Experiments Lain |Eden: It's an Endless World! |Sid Meiers Alpha Centauri |Aeon Natum Engel

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