^ I'm really curious as to the story behind that. (I'm imagining something similar to Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing. The villain positioned himself as the leader of a Hive Mind of plants to wreak vengeance upon humanity, and Swamp Thing pointed out that with humanity dead the massive decrease in carbon dioxide production would harm plants as well.)
That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something AwfulThere was a floating continent sealed off from the rest of the world, which was the origin of magical beasts. The first antagonist wanted to bring it back and massacre its inhabitants. My Druid's response:
"You know, I have been waiting a long time to tell you this. Like, since you first shouted about your plan as you tried to escape on that airship. Regine? Yeah. You won't be able to reach it, even if you do summon it. See, our planet does not exist in a fixed place in the universe. We are constantly moving at millions of miles per hour around our sun, Which in turn is in orbit around the galactic core, which is, in turn, in orbit around various points in the universe. Now, here's the good part. We're nowhere near where we were when Regine was sealed off, so your efforts are meaningless. There are literally no units I can use to describe how far away it is. It's farther away than a million times the distance between our world and our sun. So yeah. Have fun with that."
...and that's terrible.Thing was, the seal didn't take place on the planet, it took place on the continent. So it got sealed in relation to itself, rather than the earth. The GM is also a strong believer in "Magic A" Is "Magic A", and a previous seal-breaking didn't work because the ship we had the components for the spell on wasn't near the actual curse.
edited 20th May '11 10:40:56 PM by Krautman
...and that's terrible.Considering my group is made up entirely of people who are a cross between The Roleplayer and The Loonie—DMs included—there's actually not a lot of stuff we're not allowed to do. But a few things that kind of gave even our GMs a headache (though I should note that not all of these are me)...
Not allowed to throw crates of root beer at the bounty hunter.
Not allowed to throw the party's droid at the bounty hunter, either.
Not allowed to drink the bottle of wine gifted to us by an NPC, that could have been sold for 100GP while we were only 1st level.
Not allowed to try and recover poisoned gold from an abandoned temple.
Not allowed to risk-free deal with the enemies that are many levels higher than us, by trapping them in Engineering and hacking into the computer to convince it there's a horrible plasma fire and to evacuate the atmosphere.
Not allowed to hotwire and/or sabotage police cars.
Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)Pally campaign doin fine. Got a few more giggles.
- "I kick arse for the lord!" While true, is not something a Paladin is likely to say.
- Van Helsing does not get a bonus to stealth rolls because "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!".
- He also doesn't get a surprise round every encounter for the same reason.
edited 22nd May '11 1:16:24 PM by Azreal341
Pfft. While admittedly not fully a paladin, our cleric of Pelor used to say that sort of thing all the time. (Including one particular lengthy not-remotely-polite-sounding Badass Boast speech I remember.)
It was in response to a recurring villain's "What do you fight for?" speech (irritating fellow).
- Van Helsing: "I do what I must so that those who can't don't have to."
- Simon Belmont: "I spill the blood of Evil so that the blood of the innocent shall be saved.''
- Me: "I kick arse for the lord!".
I think it was a matter of timing really.
edited 22nd May '11 3:12:31 PM by Azreal341
- When asked what I'm doing in-between encounters, "sacrificing the drow" is not an appropriate response.
- No matter how convinced I may be that he brought this darkness upon us all.
- I cannot roll to persuade if my only argument is "I don't really like to do stuff."
- Especially not if the one I'm trying to persuade has a gun to my head.
- Library use is for learning how to combat the horrors of the mythos, not for finding back issues of Dog Fancy.
- When my players ask if there's "anyone [adjective] nearby," I am not allowed to spontaneously create an NPC named Barry [adjective] to fulfill the players' needs and never be seen again.
As long as you describe the car in a way that makes it sound plausible in a medieval fantasy setting, (or at least have the sense of style to exclaim "say hello to the 21st century" every time you fire it up), and the other players think it's awesome, I fail to see the problem.
- I am never allowed to brainstorm plots for Vampire The Requiem games while watching Spongebob Squarepants again.
- When asked to justify my character's existence, "Because Ashwood Abbey is sorely lacking luchadores" is not a valid excuse.
- No matter how unfair the ST's Vampire The Masquerade games tend to be, I will not sneak a hastily-converted Zenith Caste in Black Metal corpse paint in as a "Brujah."
No, it was completely plausible, the problem was that I made more or less made a tank that went fifty miles per hour, which resulted in a lot of castle walls getting a nice big hole in them along with several houses being knocked down. Oh yeah, and one flat dragon.
It was a glorious tank car.
edited 23rd May '11 10:32:23 AM by Usht
The thing about making witty signature lines is that it first needs to actually be witty.Well, yes, self-castration is probably not something you want your character to do in an RPG. What if you roll a natural 1?
(...yes, I know they meant to post elsewhere, but I couldn't resist...)
Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)Um, no. It is something I am no longer allowed to do in an RPG.
There was no roll involved, even when I proceeded to throw it at an NPC Straw Feminist.
Laconic version: My character was having a bad reaction to battle stimulants and rather than let the GM decide to be cruel I decided to rp it and weird him out so that he couldn't think what to do to me.
edited 23rd May '11 12:08:18 PM by Michael
...oh. You see, there's this thread over in On-Topic about someone who wanted to self-castrate and... you know what, I'll go hide under this rock over yonder now. Excuse me.
Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)So that's an average game session for you? Healing Factor or no, that's still likely to incapacitate you for just as long as your opponent needs.
- If I don't wish to play Dark Heresy, the GM will be more than happy to let me goof around on his computer until the group breaks out another game. I don't need to throw together a character named Bloodford De-Bloodgod just to get myself killed off.
edited 23rd May '11 12:51:38 PM by darnpenguin
Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)

I am not to cause a villainous breakdown in all the antagonists using my Druid's knowledge of astronomy, nature, religion, or the fact he can directly communicate with the goddess of nature.
...and that's terrible.