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Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

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Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#226: May 20th 2011 at 1:55:40 PM

I am not to cause a villainous breakdown in all the antagonists using my Druid's knowledge of astronomy, nature, religion, or the fact he can directly communicate with the goddess of nature.

...and that's terrible.
feotakahari Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer from Looking out at the city Since: Sep, 2009
Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer
#227: May 20th 2011 at 3:50:41 PM

^ I'm really curious as to the story behind that. (I'm imagining something similar to Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing. The villain positioned himself as the leader of a Hive Mind of plants to wreak vengeance upon humanity, and Swamp Thing pointed out that with humanity dead the massive decrease in carbon dioxide production would harm plants as well.)

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful
Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#228: May 20th 2011 at 3:55:55 PM

There was a floating continent sealed off from the rest of the world, which was the origin of magical beasts. The first antagonist wanted to bring it back and massacre its inhabitants. My Druid's response:

"You know, I have been waiting a long time to tell you this. Like, since you first shouted about your plan as you tried to escape on that airship. Regine? Yeah. You won't be able to reach it, even if you do summon it. See, our planet does not exist in a fixed place in the universe. We are constantly moving at millions of miles per hour around our sun, Which in turn is in orbit around the galactic core, which is, in turn, in orbit around various points in the universe. Now, here's the good part. We're nowhere near where we were when Regine was sealed off, so your efforts are meaningless. There are literally no units I can use to describe how far away it is. It's farther away than a million times the distance between our world and our sun. So yeah. Have fun with that."

...and that's terrible.
Rationalinsanity from Halifax, Canada Since: Aug, 2010 Relationship Status: It's complicated
#229: May 20th 2011 at 5:01:48 PM

Did he respond "It's magic; I ain't gotta explain shit."? If not, your DM is doing it wrong.tongue

Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#230: May 20th 2011 at 5:02:56 PM

Thing was, the seal didn't take place on the planet, it took place on the continent. So it got sealed in relation to itself, rather than the earth. The GM is also a strong believer in "Magic A" Is "Magic A", and a previous seal-breaking didn't work because the ship we had the components for the spell on wasn't near the actual curse.

edited 20th May '11 10:40:56 PM by Krautman

...and that's terrible.
Jeysie Diva of Virtual Death from Western Massachusetts Since: Jun, 2010
Diva of Virtual Death
#231: May 22nd 2011 at 10:01:00 AM

Considering my group is made up entirely of people who are a cross between The Roleplayer and The Loonie—DMs included—there's actually not a lot of stuff we're not allowed to do. But a few things that kind of gave even our GMs a headache (though I should note that not all of these are me)...

Not allowed to throw crates of root beer at the bounty hunter.

Not allowed to throw the party's droid at the bounty hunter, either.

Not allowed to drink the bottle of wine gifted to us by an NPC, that could have been sold for 100GP while we were only 1st level.

Not allowed to try and recover poisoned gold from an abandoned temple.

Not allowed to risk-free deal with the enemies that are many levels higher than us, by trapping them in Engineering and hacking into the computer to convince it there's a horrible plasma fire and to evacuate the atmosphere.

Not allowed to hotwire and/or sabotage police cars.

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)
MorkaisChosen from Learning Since: Jan, 2001
#232: May 22nd 2011 at 10:02:23 AM

LARP:

When out in the middle of the field, with encounters being set up ahead of you, the refs would prefer it if we didn't go "Right, we're heading back the way we came."

Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#233: May 22nd 2011 at 1:14:56 PM

Pally campaign doin fine. Got a few more giggles.

  • "I kick arse for the lord!" While true, is not something a Paladin is likely to say.
  • Van Helsing does not get a bonus to stealth rolls because "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!".
    • He also doesn't get a surprise round every encounter for the same reason.

edited 22nd May '11 1:16:24 PM by Azreal341

Jeysie Diva of Virtual Death from Western Massachusetts Since: Jun, 2010
Diva of Virtual Death
#234: May 22nd 2011 at 1:29:50 PM

[up] Pfft. While admittedly not fully a paladin, our cleric of Pelor used to say that sort of thing all the time. (Including one particular lengthy not-remotely-polite-sounding Badass Boast speech I remember.)

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)
MorkaisChosen from Learning Since: Jan, 2001
#235: May 22nd 2011 at 2:41:06 PM

[up][up]Depends on the paladin, doesn't it?

Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#236: May 22nd 2011 at 3:10:59 PM

It was in response to a recurring villain's "What do you fight for?" speech (irritating fellow).

  • Van Helsing: "I do what I must so that those who can't don't have to."
  • Simon Belmont: "I spill the blood of Evil so that the blood of the innocent shall be saved.''
  • Me: "I kick arse for the lord!".

I think it was a matter of timing really.

edited 22nd May '11 3:12:31 PM by Azreal341

darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#237: May 22nd 2011 at 5:35:26 PM

  • When asked what I'm doing in-between encounters, "sacrificing the drow" is not an appropriate response.
    • No matter how convinced I may be that he brought this darkness upon us all.
  • I cannot roll to persuade if my only argument is "I don't really like to do stuff."
    • Especially not if the one I'm trying to persuade has a gun to my head.
  • Library use is for learning how to combat the horrors of the mythos, not for finding back issues of Dog Fancy.
  • When my players ask if there's "anyone [adjective] nearby," I am not allowed to spontaneously create an NPC named Barry [adjective] to fulfill the players' needs and never be seen again.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
GlennMagusHarvey Since: Jan, 2001
#238: May 22nd 2011 at 6:00:25 PM

Your GM makes you come up with lines of reasoning when using persuasion/diplomacy skills?

Not saying whether that's a good thing or not. I've played with a GM who does, and sometimes I feel inspired but sometimes I just want to press controller buttons and be done with it. It depends.

Azreal341 Since: Jan, 2011
#239: May 22nd 2011 at 6:29:03 PM

He lets us opt out if we like but if we don't opt out then we have to try. I didn't have any other ideas and theirs were so good it would have been a cop out to say nothing.

drunkscriblerian Street Writing Man from Castle Geekhaven Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: In season
Street Writing Man
#240: May 22nd 2011 at 8:53:51 PM

Pft. I make people roleplay their interactions *

. Of course, I got my start in LARP and let people roleplay damn near anything.

If I were to write some of the strange things that come under my eyes they would not be believed. ~Cora M. Strayer~
Usht Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard from an arbitrary view point. Since: Feb, 2011
Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard
#241: May 22nd 2011 at 9:57:50 PM

No matter how smart my artificer is, I am not allowed to make a magic powered car.

Or a magic shotgun. Or chainsaw.

The thing about making witty signature lines is that it first needs to actually be witty.
Krautman WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT from Hiding from the man, man Since: Jan, 2010
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT
#242: May 22nd 2011 at 10:06:04 PM

Magic car? Animated Objects on a wagon or chair with wheels attached.

...and that's terrible.
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#243: May 23rd 2011 at 9:37:49 AM

As long as you describe the car in a way that makes it sound plausible in a medieval fantasy setting, (or at least have the sense of style to exclaim "say hello to the 21st century" every time you fire it up), and the other players think it's awesome, I fail to see the problem.

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Usht Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard from an arbitrary view point. Since: Feb, 2011
Lv. 3 Genasi Wizard
#244: May 23rd 2011 at 10:28:06 AM

No, it was completely plausible, the problem was that I made more or less made a tank that went fifty miles per hour, which resulted in a lot of castle walls getting a nice big hole in them along with several houses being knocked down. Oh yeah, and one flat dragon.

It was a glorious tank car.

edited 23rd May '11 10:32:23 AM by Usht

The thing about making witty signature lines is that it first needs to actually be witty.
Michael So that's what this does Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
So that's what this does
#245: May 23rd 2011 at 11:25:17 AM

There is never a good reason for self-castration, even if you can heal.

Jeysie Diva of Virtual Death from Western Massachusetts Since: Jun, 2010
Diva of Virtual Death
#246: May 23rd 2011 at 11:58:01 AM

Well, yes, self-castration is probably not something you want your character to do in an RPG. What if you roll a natural 1?

(...yes, I know they meant to post elsewhere, but I couldn't resist...)

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)
Michael So that's what this does Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
So that's what this does
#247: May 23rd 2011 at 12:07:55 PM

Um, no. It is something I am no longer allowed to do in an RPG.

There was no roll involved, even when I proceeded to throw it at an NPC Straw Feminist.

Laconic version: My character was having a bad reaction to battle stimulants and rather than let the GM decide to be cruel I decided to rp it and weird him out so that he couldn't think what to do to me.

edited 23rd May '11 12:08:18 PM by Michael

Jeysie Diva of Virtual Death from Western Massachusetts Since: Jun, 2010
Diva of Virtual Death
#248: May 23rd 2011 at 12:11:28 PM

...oh. You see, there's this thread over in On-Topic about someone who wanted to self-castrate and... you know what, I'll go hide under this rock over yonder now. Excuse me.

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)
darnpenguin Yakka Foob Mog from one friend to another Since: Jan, 2001
Yakka Foob Mog
#249: May 23rd 2011 at 12:49:54 PM

So that's an average game session for you? Healing Factor or no, that's still likely to incapacitate you for just as long as your opponent needs.

  • If I don't wish to play Dark Heresy, the GM will be more than happy to let me goof around on his computer until the group breaks out another game. I don't need to throw together a character named Bloodford De-Bloodgod just to get myself killed off.

edited 23rd May '11 12:51:38 PM by darnpenguin

Add me on Skype: Al Cook (darnpenguin)
Michael So that's what this does Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
So that's what this does
#250: May 23rd 2011 at 1:30:05 PM

Meh, it was post-battle, if I'd gone berserk it could have been devastating, I call it a win.


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