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Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#26: May 23rd 2011 at 12:54:41 AM

Well, in his defense, it was eighteen days between his last two bumps and it was twelve days since then with no bumps other than my bit of advice.

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dRoy Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar from Most likely from my study Since: May, 2010 Relationship Status: I'm just high on the world
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
#27: May 23rd 2011 at 1:50:35 AM

[up][up][up] Well, what do you suppose he should do other than bumping?

Continuously reading, studying, and (hopefully) growing.
Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#28: May 23rd 2011 at 2:00:51 AM

Doing some advertising and posting another chapter?

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Hermiethefrog Since: Jan, 2001
#29: May 23rd 2011 at 3:43:04 PM

1. Post a link in his signature

2. Describe the story on his troper page

3. Post the story on places besides here

MrAHR Ahr river from ಠ_ಠ Since: Oct, 2010 Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Ahr river
#30: May 23rd 2011 at 3:49:32 PM

...why can't you people tear apart my work with this much gusto? :<

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Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#31: May 23rd 2011 at 4:01:03 PM

Yeah, mentioning and linking to it on his Contributor's Page would help.

Honestly, Nick, I mean no offense but your page comes off as a little whiny. I can relate to you rather easily so it's not that I think you're blowing things out of proportions. Meh, I don't know. I'll shut up now.

Let the joy of love give you an answer! Check out my book!
NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#32: May 23rd 2011 at 6:16:04 PM

Yeah, looking back, I was a whiny, immature brat.

Editing my page.

And I will definitely be adding more chapters today for New Dawn Hollow Dusk. I just about finished the first two prologue chapters.

Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#33: May 23rd 2011 at 6:32:56 PM

Can't wait to see the prologue chapters. It definitely needed them since, as I told you in the PM, chapter one was very rushed. A couple do good ideas but not done well (kinda like Sonic '06. It had several good ideas but none of them were done well).

I really need to get to writing the next chapter of my fanfic and work on my novel...

EDIT: Whoa, you didn't have to delete your entire page. There wasn't anything wrong with the tropes section (although, I would suggest that you split it into tropes for your works and tropes for you).

edited 23rd May '11 6:34:22 PM by Zelenal

Let the joy of love give you an answer! Check out my book!
Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#35: May 24th 2011 at 3:18:39 AM

The entire first paragraph is confusing. You don't want to reveal information, that much is obvious, but the way you did it is bad. Might I suggest: "The boy looked down at what was going on. A normal individual would have screamed in pain by now but this one lacked that basic human function by now." This would also solve my next point.

had done, but just confusion, as befitting a child.
In my mind, this is a misuse of commas and the word order is bad. Might I suggest: "... he had done. Instead, he just felt confusion- as is befitting for a child."

Why did that man before hate him so much?
Remove "before" or place "from" in front of it.

in pain, but he never cried out in pain.
Comma not needed and the second "pain" is redundant.

a little, or maybe offered a small tear, but after what had happened, his eyes were dried of tears.
Missuse of of commas (seeing a theme?). Try: "...a little or maybe offered a small tear but, after what had happened, his eyes were dried of tears."

Kyrio apologized
Redundant.

tolerance of pain
I do believe this should be "tolerance for pain".

I stopped keeping track after this because I stopped caring.

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NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#36: Jul 21st 2011 at 11:28:56 PM

[1], the prologue, explaining why the cast acts as they do. This is the complete prologue for now.

edited 21st Jul '11 11:29:10 PM by NickTheSwing

Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#37: Jul 22nd 2011 at 3:13:30 AM

Any reason the link leads to a blank page?

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NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#38: Jul 22nd 2011 at 11:55:31 AM

I think I have to put my story elsewhere, and link to it here.

Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#39: Aug 12th 2011 at 11:08:19 PM

So... you gonna post this on fictionpress.com and link to it?

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NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#40: Aug 14th 2011 at 4:33:52 PM

Yeah, I will, I just need to update and rewrite certain parts of continuity.

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#41: Aug 24th 2011 at 6:06:10 PM

So, just asking, I am trying to make a petty villain, but I want to make sure its not too overwhelmingly stupid given that said villain, while a Smug Snake, is still rather capable otherwise.

One of the villains coming up, Nebiros, is trying to cause the Blood Feast, which would unleash Satan, and cause the end of the world. For that he'd need to kill the hero and take the MacGuffin inside of him. The reason he's doing this? He is the fifth of seven brothers in a magical family, and was always "the average one". So he decided to end the world to make everyone remember him.

edited 24th Aug '11 6:07:07 PM by NickTheSwing

Zelenal The Cat Knows Where It's At from Purrgatory Since: Jul, 2009 Relationship Status: Maxing my social links
The Cat Knows Where It's At
#42: Aug 24th 2011 at 6:09:43 PM

Yes. It is extremely petty. Why not have him do it For Science! to see what happens After the End? Or, alternatively, give him so psychosis so he's just a Complete Monster for no reason other than For the Evulz?

edited 24th Aug '11 6:10:23 PM by Zelenal

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KSPAM PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY from PARTY ROCK Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: Giving love a bad name
PARTY PARTY PARTY I WANNA HAVE A PARTY
#43: Aug 24th 2011 at 6:13:04 PM

Psychosis is always a fun one, mostly because due to part Hollywood Mental Illnesses and part unfortunate real life instances, it can be the explanation for all evil.

I've got new mythological machinery, and very handsome supernatural scenery. Goodfae: a mafia web serial
NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009
#44: Aug 24th 2011 at 8:05:52 PM

Yeah, I'll have him say its because he is tired of being the Average One, but he's really just a psychotic bastard without any sanity, and he's just in it blatantly For the Evulz.

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