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ITT: Talk about non-existent music

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Rockonman Since: Oct, 2011
#576: Jun 19th 2012 at 5:56:18 PM

Nah, checked Alex Wink out and it's definitely not as good as that one indie xylophone-nose flute group entitled That One Guy Again. TOGA, for short.

Tre could be worse from the front to the back, that's where I was at (Unlucky Thirteen) Relationship Status: Singularity
could be worse
#577: Jun 19th 2012 at 6:00:33 PM

TOGA don't do electronic alternative, do they? I remember hearing a few of their albums— Hallway in the Dark just sounded vaguely like a cross of Hawaiian music and "Somebody I Used To Know" to me.

Not that that's a bad thing though— Curmudgeon is a 45-minute masterpiece.

oh, that's why I need this binary mind //
Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#578: Jun 20th 2012 at 8:05:59 AM

TOGA's been on indefinite hiatus since last month—their nose-flautist started experimenting with electric instruments on tour, there was some kind of intercontinental voltage differential, and now he needs plastic surgery.

Good news, though: xylophonist Trey Malingero has taken this chance to guest on several tracks of the Skeeball Widows' upcoming album Sulfur Water Tea. North Floridian Nü-Folk may finally have found the missing ingredient for a (finally, non-ironic!) revival.

Rockonman Since: Oct, 2011
#579: Jun 20th 2012 at 9:32:55 AM

Skeeball Widows is reviving again? Hell, I thought they died after that album Rats vs Ants!

What I can't wait for, though, is the new album from French Braided Aliens.

SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#580: Jun 20th 2012 at 9:50:44 AM

French Braided Aliens have been irrelevant since their sophomore album slump with Chrome-Wheeled Starship. Their first single off the album failed to break the Hot 100, and then they disappeared off the face of the Earth. Jockey crunk has ceased to be a viable genre for anybody ever since Herbie Goetz fused it with more of a a turtle wax sound, and in the past two years, any remaining remnants of jockey crunk's influence has continued slowly phase itself out of modern music.

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#581: Jun 20th 2012 at 9:55:59 AM

[up][up]As long as it's not another concept album about dorm-room cooking.

[up]The good news is, its decline hasn't been unfortunate for everyone. FBA's ex-bassist "Matter Eater" Ladd has lost 500 pounds, and has been seen jamming with protest groups outside several local oyster roasts. I spotted him once, and he looks happier than he has in a long time.

edited 20th Jun '12 9:57:28 AM by Jhimmibhob

SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#582: Jun 20th 2012 at 10:04:09 AM

[up]Hey, that's not unfortunate, but it ain't very fortunate, either. His bass playing was mediocre, at best, and his presence was never very integral to FBA's sound or songwriting. He lost weight? Good for him, but you can archive his presence at oyster shack protests in the 'Where Are They Now?' file.

Then again, although he's a skinny nobody now, he was still very much a big, fat nobody when he was associated with a famous music act.

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#583: Jun 20th 2012 at 10:16:27 AM

[up]I admit that fame's not good—or healthy—for everybody, least of all Ladd. Being deluged with groupies, all offering their A1-smeared fingers for you to lick clean, can lead to whole new species of hubris. His failed marriage to Doreen Pfladtz (of Attention, Whores!) was simply the last brick in the wall.

Rockonman Since: Oct, 2011
#584: Jun 20th 2012 at 11:23:53 AM

The singer, "Nice Guy" Litz, has at least gone on to do something worthwhile. I just heard that he's doing a colab with Fried Oysters.

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#585: Jun 20th 2012 at 1:28:29 PM

I'd rather be either of those guys than drummer Chaz Gastralenko. He did time for tax fraud, got religion, and now he's touring suburban megachurches with God's Angry Foot.

On a happier note, The Unconscionably Twee are launching their first U.S. tour this October! It kicks off in Bryn Mawr, and is scheduled to last until singer Gareth Mann-Thynge's body starts rejecting his iron supplements.

SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#586: Jun 20th 2012 at 1:43:45 PM

[up] Well, gee, I was thinking of getting tickets for when they'd come to New York, but I might want to save my cash for a show that can be guaranteed to happen. How long are they expecting Gareth's body to tolerate the supplements, again?

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#587: Jun 20th 2012 at 2:12:33 PM

Their Brooklyn date is probably a go: the Austin bookies' current over/under is somewhere near the outskirts of Ann Arbor.

However, Gareth's constitution has been fragile ever since his bluff, ruddy-cheeked, moustachioed father's most recent expressions of disapproval, delivered around the inevitable mouthful of beef-lung pie and shandy. The biographical content of the tour's early set lists could be decisive for someone ordering tickets.

SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#588: Jun 20th 2012 at 2:16:26 PM

[up]I remember that look he gave when Gareth poked that one photographer in the eye.

...Although some people of other persuasions do believe his Gareth's father is an evil overlord who was telepathically commanding Gareth to kill the man at that time. In b4 accusations of subliminal messages in lyrics.

edited 20th Jun '12 4:52:02 PM by SeanMurrayI

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#589: Jun 21st 2012 at 10:09:20 AM

In other news, remember back in '89 when P.P. Leotardi broke up Slyckk Fyshnetz, locked himself up in his mansion, and started work on a "revolutionary" glam-metal opera? Frankly, I don't either. But after almost a quarter-century of toil, Orpheus Bleedz is debuting at the Wayne County Community College theater, with P.P. conducting the house orchestra. His old bandmate Kkennniie Flaminguez has agreed to guest on the big Act II power aria.

Rockonman Since: Oct, 2011
#590: Jun 21st 2012 at 11:57:33 AM

Could have sworn that that album was released by the band Peace Harps.

Flareth Total nerd from In bed Since: Jun, 2009
Total nerd
#591: Jun 21st 2012 at 12:07:40 PM

No, the Peace Harps are completely different. Who knew hardcore metal could be played ON HARPS? Slim Jim Johnson is an epic harp player.

SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#592: Jun 21st 2012 at 3:57:27 PM

[up]Man any nimrod with a violin bow and no violin can rub it on a harp and make sharp grinding sounds and shrieks for three minutes.

You should be giving credit to the brave producer who can already tolerate to the ugly, reprehensible noises that come out of hardcore metal as is that also mixed those awful grinds and shrieks on top of those awful tracks he already gets from every other band member.

Me? I like my postmodern anarcho-syndaclist impossible rocabillica psycho metal with a clarinet section. Woody's Wooden Teeth 4 LIFE!!!!

edited 21st Jun '12 3:59:35 PM by SeanMurrayI

Rockonman Since: Oct, 2011
#593: Jun 21st 2012 at 4:06:55 PM

Heavy Metal Bell Choir is a classic, though. Great band it is.

Tre could be worse from the front to the back, that's where I was at (Unlucky Thirteen) Relationship Status: Singularity
could be worse
#594: Jun 21st 2012 at 4:08:42 PM

More like Heavy Metal Bell Chore. I couldn't even get through their first album.

I guess it's an acquired taste though.

oh, that's why I need this binary mind //
SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#595: Jun 21st 2012 at 4:22:18 PM

[up][up]Yeah, we get it. Everybody knows about it. Everybody saw the clip from The Late Late Late Show with Rorschach Tubbman on Youtube a million times or whatever. Everybody had a good laugh (*[GROWL]... DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING*), yeah yeah yeah, we know. Now, enough. Meme is dead. Let's have a discussion on something we haven't gone through a million times already.

Again, Woody's Wooden Teeth—jazz metal is the true future of metal and jazz.

edited 21st Jun '12 4:23:10 PM by SeanMurrayI

Flareth Total nerd from In bed Since: Jun, 2009
Total nerd
#596: Jun 21st 2012 at 4:34:13 PM

Man I just learned it was a meme today. Just thought everybody liked them. Maybe it's because I usually steer clear of Rorschach Tubbman's show. I much prefer Midnight With Mikaela Brown but this isn't what the topics about.

Jazz metal is awesome. I doubt people have ever heard of Toss Me The Saxaphone. They are so obscure but I find them the best in the genre. Especially with the song "Lure Me To The Deep Cave of Coffee".

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#597: Jun 22nd 2012 at 9:54:06 AM

They're technically okay, but most long-time fans of the genre realize just how derivative they are of Odin's Reedmen. TMTS are stylistically larcenous enough to shamelessly copy the marimba/guitar battle from "Smack and Four Loko," but they don't have the stones to follow it up with the original's machete fight during live shows.

Long story short: If the same number of Norwegian espresso joints when you started your tour are left standing at the end of it, you've punched your own ticket to Pöserville.

SeanMurrayI Since: Jan, 2010
#598: Jun 22nd 2012 at 4:52:52 PM

[up]I'll concur on most points, but I find Odin's Reedmen's on-stage machete fights during their live set to be very dismissive of the music and the band itself. They're not even in rhythm with the guitar or trumpet solos, and that's a huge disservice to both Kipple Jones and Tick, respectively.

To be fair, I did take sides with the Uglies when Unkempt Joe and the Uglies went through their nasty, public breakup after the Uglies got fed up with Unkempt Joe's repeated slapstick antics with stage security at shows, but I think the Uglies had the better set of values and priorities.

edited 22nd Jun '12 8:36:21 PM by SeanMurrayI

Jhimmibhob Since: Dec, 2010
#599: Jun 25th 2012 at 11:36:54 AM

I can't disagree with you there. God knows, Unkempt Joe's dada streak has finally circled around and gone up its own sphincter, if his recent "behaviormuzik" solo tour is any indication: the concerts pretty much consist of Joe coming out on stage, diving into the crowd, and physically assaulting the nearest people until he can be removed. (Though in his defense, the Serbian leg got held over for several additional shows.)

Rockonman Since: Oct, 2011
#600: Jun 25th 2012 at 11:50:04 AM

I'm just excited for Nonconformist Squirrel's first tour. They've been rocking the electric banjo/electric harp for about 10 years (I don't remember off the top of my head), and haven't toured once.


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