... Do you pity me?
... If any...
-She glances over at Ramona and lowers her voice-
If anything happens to me...
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?...
I talked with someone. They said... they said you might not...
...
They said maybe you liked having someone like me. Someone who needs protecting and saving. And that was why you did it, so you could feel good.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?... I know I need people. I wouldn't be alive if people didn't look at me and feel bad for me. It must— it should feel good to have someone like me who needs you.
-She goes with them-
I don't know what's going to happen next, but... if I die, you need to make sure Ramona is taken care of. Find her someone, be that someone, it doesn't matter as long as she's safe.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?...
-Looks at her knees-
That's the point of a plan b, Eires.
...
I'm sorry. I just don't know what to expect. I spent all night tense as a spring, watching over her, thinking scenarios over in my head. I'm still all jittery...
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?-She sits closer, arm over Eires-
It'll be alright. We'll hold it together.
...
I'm grateful. For everything. I just... I want to know if she was right.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?...
...
Pffehehe! That's not a nice word to use!!
-Going pinkish-
... I know you've gotten more than you bargained for out of me. If you ever just want to... scale it back... that's fair.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Just... make things simpler. Try being friends for a while. I don't know, I spent all night thinking and now that I say it all it sounds dumb. But... I guess I just want you to have an "out". Because when we first started, I kept things from you. Because... well, because I was scared if I gave you the full picture, poof, it would all be over. And that was shitty of me. I want you to have the option to walk.
S-so... so she's wrong?
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Th-then...
...
Then what does that mean now?
Everything... wow uh... there's a lot. Where do I start?
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?... 1864, thirteenth of November. Little Alexandra Reneé enters the world.
I get the Brokenshire name and what comes with it. We're more New Money than anything else by this time, though we've married into a couple of bigger households.
I got an elder brother, two sisters younger than me. Would have had a third, but she died before she got a name. David John, Eugena Abbey and Mary Annie. I never found out what happened to them...
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?I'm seventeen. This fat bastard, let's just call him the Duke, comes into my life. See, his estate has fallen into the shitter, and he wants to marry rich. He's a piece of shit, but my father just sees a chance for the Brokenshires to make more for themselves. Arrangements get made.
... One night, he bites me.
edited 21st Jun '17 4:03:39 AM by SR3NORMANDY
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?When a vampire bites someone, they can enthrall them. Little by little, bite after bite. It's not like that trick with my eyes, that has limits. But enthralling... it's a different level. It was like I was being eroded, and made into something else. Even when he wasn't there, I felt it.
I don't really remember our wedding, or the night... just little flashes... I remember just... smiling. The entire time. Just how he wanted me.
He turned me that night, had the ritual and everything. Drained me. Killed me. And then I'm back, like... this.
-Gestures at her pale skin-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Whenever he was there to court me... he'd bite me again. He groomed me for over a year like that. Enthralling, it's meant to be a way for a vampire to keep their victims close. You know that saying, once bitten, twice shy? Yeah, the opposite of that. No matter how bad it was, how twisted, I couldn't stop him. I couldn't stop myself. I thought it was all... what I wanted.
He has dozens of thralls like that, living on his estate. Whole generations going by without ever... thinking or feeling for themselves.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

Eheh...
-She's not smiling, despite the laugh-
-Follows her in, feeling a little more foolish than she already was-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?