(fuckin)
(Gracefully floats to the floor, looking serene and confident... for about a microsecond before the dweebness takes hold again.)
...I... The Resplendent Lord... Prince of the Thousand Stars... Panagiotis Lucien Ibarra... h-have... ASCENDED...!
(ECSTATIC SMILE... which fades a bit as he looks down.)
...O-oh, merde, I'm still, uhhhhm... large...? But— but this is fine, yes...! O-of little consequence, I-I probably, m-most likely, i-in all certainty will burn it off w-with my divine energy, as—as my metabolism adjusts to—... y-yes...! O-oh Gracia, I— I— I am brimming with— w-with divine bliss and ecstasy...!
make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019"The hair isn't connected to you anymore. Speaking of which..."
-Both hair samples vanish into small bursts of light which quickly fade away-
"...Well, good news and bad news from Dr. Oriana, MD."
"Him. Y'know. For sleeping with you. Which has obviously happened because otherwise you'd still be in boot camp. Wow, inexperienced, ugly and dumb. Triple threat."
edited 12th May '17 9:41:37 PM by Randomman5

A mutant, maybe. I've never seen one, but I'm assuming extra arms is in the realm of plausibility.
So...if you're not a human, what does that make you. An undiscovered species of primate, perhaps?
edited 12th May '17 9:34:21 PM by MacDuffy