(Saitama is in the kitchen, making a soup. He is studying a cookbook.)
"Cayenne pepper...salt... this smells pretty good, actually."
(Next to him is a tall pile of broken wooden spoons, along with half of the spice rack. The rubbish bin is full of failed soups.)
"I may actually make something edible this time."
borkAh, cooking. I never had much use for regular food, really, not since becoming a bloodsucker. It all tastes like rubbish to me, you know? There's nothing to it.
-Look like Sandra is about, Sai-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Oh, pffft, relax. The only way to kill a vampire is to stab their heart or cut off their head, anything else is just an inconvenience. You know, I've been blown to bloody chunks a few times? But since that didn't technically cut or stab me, I survived. Vampire rules, they're weird.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?...
-Nods, looking a little less lackadaisical about it-
Right, yeah. Well uh, apology accepted. All's forgiven, really, I know there was no malice.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Mostly just food, but if I go too long without it it can be harder to... you know, stay well-behaved. That usually takes months, though, and I can usually find a consenting volunteer by then.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Oh boy, you don't know the half of it. I gotta be careful around silver, garlic, people invoking the Big G or JC's name, crucifixes, running water.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?I have a daughter about, a witch named Ramona. I uh, I should probably cook more for her, but I never really learned how. Except toast. Ramona likes toast. Or at least, doesn't mind that it's all I ever give her. Sometimes I even remember to give her stuff to put on it, too.
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

-Chutzu nods-
I'm sure Kaine caused a bit of an uproar here...
He didn't attack anyone here, did he?
Deer