the darklord himself
◊ looms over cloud, ready to strike with the fury of 64 entire bits, whatever the fuck that means
he stares with the fury of eight hundred souls, all lost to shitty spinoff after shitty spinoff
determined to fix what's right
to eliminate all non 128 BIT I'M SORRY versions of cloud
and with raw spirit, he casts the almighty bolt, symbolic of God, or rather the Planet or some shit, 's fury.
... which winds up striking himself because he doesn't know how the fuck battles work
he instantly drops down dead and vanishes into the aether
Ahh well, rare treasures, stolen goods, sometimes I go out and catch pokemon for people who can't do it themselves for whatever reason, or sometimes I find lost pokemon for people.
It is all legal of course, got my licence in Castelia City!
-she takes it out. looks pretty offical, it even tracks the gym badges she's collected!-
Hey I'm sorry, but I gotta kinda ask everyone this.
-she pulls out a picture of Lysander-
Have you seen this man recently?
All our wishes can come trueActually he's the leader, well, WAS the leader of a crime syndicate in Kalos.
It's gonna be my career case, I just know it. I met him once, he was trying to use Xerneas' powers to... take over the world or something, you know how it is.
-she nods-
But after I saved Xerneas he vanished somewhere... I've been looking for him ever since.
Heard he used to be a good guy once, cared a lot about his pokemon...
All our wishes can come true

"You seem to have had trouble making breakfast"