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Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48651: Mar 28th 2012 at 6:44:57 PM

Hides behind Lifty- He's looking at us.... Y-you think we're really safe if he decides to get violent here?

Yeah yeah, I'm sure...

Deer
GameSpazzer The Beta Male from Against! The! Wall! Since: Jun, 2010
The Beta Male
#48652: Mar 28th 2012 at 6:47:11 PM

...?

MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48653: Mar 28th 2012 at 6:48:42 PM

Alright, Court is now in session! Mister Birdman, proceed.

-gets up and walks around-

Vigilante Justice! To us normal, ordinary folk the term sounds appealing! We all want to be Batman, and we all want to see the wicked get their just desserts! However, the truth of the matter is that it's far uglier than most of us are willing to admit! These two, poor young men have been brutalized and slaughtered time and again by THIS....so-called "DELIVERER OF JUSTICE"!! For the most petty of crimes. Are we just going to put the right to judge others for their crimes in the hands of any malicious psychopath who has the gall to put underwear on their head and call it a secret identity!?

-has a seat-

Mmmhm. Alright, Mister Wright. Your opening statement?

edited 28th Mar '12 6:51:56 PM by MacDuffy

Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48654: Mar 28th 2012 at 6:51:46 PM

He's gonna be mad at us again...

He will... but if we play our cards right, he won't hurt us...

edited 28th Mar '12 6:52:22 PM by Tatsumar

Deer
Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#48655: Mar 28th 2012 at 6:58:11 PM

frack this law thing is hard, I chose the worst moment to use Phoenix. D: Give me a while to figure this out...

edited 28th Mar '12 7:05:23 PM by Rivux

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48656: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:00:39 PM

It's like the topic sentence of a paragraph. Don't worry about goofing up. Harvey Birdman's courtroom battles are barely realistic.

edited 28th Mar '12 7:02:18 PM by MacDuffy

Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#48657: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:05:27 PM

("Well dang, I don't want to defend this guy. Still gotta try I guess.")

-gets up and walks around too-

I would like to remind the court that theft, of all things, is not a petty crime in any form sort or way. Theft is a crime that could very well ruin one's business or one's own personal finance. Splendid Squirrel is someone who can understand this and is attempting to help those two villainous boys to correct their ways. Even if said ways are rather... unorthodox, it is simply Splendid Squirrel's way of helping them mend their ways. Calling him psychopathic would be an incorrect accusation as he is simply helping the general public.

-sits back down-

("Wow that couldn't have sounded clumsier! This is what I get for just grasping at the bare knowledge of the case right off the bat.")

Ha ha, alright. And don't worry, in the Ace Attorney universe there are people who bring in whips, channel ghosts, and drink 17 cups of coffee in a single trial. Harvey Birdman ain't alone in crazy courtroom antics.

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48658: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:07:15 PM

Mister Birdman, your first witness.

I would like to call Lifty Raccoon to the stand!

edited 28th Mar '12 7:07:26 PM by MacDuffy

Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48659: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:10:33 PM

Ah... um... -Lifty takes the stand-

You can do it Brother! Just pretend he isn't there!

He's s-staring...

Deer
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48660: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:13:18 PM

Now, Mister Raccoon. Would you describe to the court some examples of the defendant's...-ahem- "Justice" brought upon you?

I heard those air quotes, Mister! I don't appreciate sarcasm, you know!

Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48661: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:17:18 PM

W-well... There was the time we were boiled to death in a lake by his laser eye beams... we were thrown into a whirlpool that led to a pit of lava, and crushed by Splendid's super breath.... Each time was very... very painful.

Deer
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48662: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:19:12 PM

And WELL-DESERVED, if you ask me!!

Mmhm. I see. Your Honor, I present Woodland Creature's Exhibit A.

-plays a videotape of the killings-

Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#48663: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:21:41 PM

Outbursts like that won't help your case!

edited 28th Mar '12 7:22:00 PM by Rivux

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48664: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:22:30 PM

-shudders- B-brother....

You're doin great Lifty!

Deer
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48665: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:22:59 PM

I can't help it! It's in my nature to be bombastic!

Now, would you please explain to the court the ALLEGED crimes you SUPPOSEDLY commited that made the defendant believe you deserved this form of punishment?

edited 28th Mar '12 7:25:29 PM by MacDuffy

GameSpazzer The Beta Male from Against! The! Wall! Since: Jun, 2010
The Beta Male
#48666: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:23:48 PM

-watches-

MY SOUL IS DARK BUT MY HAIR IS COLORFUL — Brahian Pokémon Alchemist
Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48667: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:26:00 PM

Well, for the boiling... My brother and I stole from various jewelry stores... and found Splendid's weakness somehow... I-I won't say what it is, s-so he won't get mad at me.... for the lava pit, we were tryin' to break into a safe... and for the super breath... we um... snuck into a comic convention for free...

Deer
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48668: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:28:16 PM

Nothing further. -has a seat-

Alright, Mister Wright. Do you have a cross-examination for this witness?

Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#48669: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:36:38 PM

("Nothing can save this guy from the inhuman... inanimality of his actions. I'm still expected to try though...")

Yes, your honor. -begins to think about this music-

Now Lifty, you admit to crimes of robbery, yes?

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48670: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:38:09 PM

Y-yes Suit Man... I think it should be known that we are diagnosed kleptomaniacs... Common thieves...

Deer
Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#48671: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:41:01 PM

Mr. Wright would do better, but fine.

Have you ever tried to get help for your Kleptomania?

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
MacDuffy from Enies Lobby Since: Jun, 2011 Relationship Status: Drift compatible
#48672: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:42:40 PM

OBJECTION!

Whether or not my client has sought help for their condition is irrelevant to this case!

edited 28th Mar '12 7:43:10 PM by MacDuffy

Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48673: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:42:57 PM

S-sorry.... Um... no... not really. Stealing... is um.. fun for me... I don't have many other hobbies...

Ah! S-should I have said that!?

edited 28th Mar '12 7:45:51 PM by Tatsumar

Deer
Rivux same old me from [a jump to the sky turns to a rider kick] Since: Aug, 2010
same old me
#48674: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:45:58 PM

Objection!

Au contrare! I find the fact that the client has never sought help for his Kleptomania to be imperative to the case!

If the client had never once sought help, it is very likely he never would have suffered the gruesome fate(s) he had. (is instinctively doing the defense thing)

mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#48675: Mar 28th 2012 at 7:49:08 PM

... S-sorry... b-but it's still way too gruesome.... And in that last case we didn't even steal anything!

Deer

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