Alright, Court is now in session! Mister Birdman, proceed.
-gets up and walks around-
Vigilante Justice! To us normal, ordinary folk the term sounds appealing! We all want to be Batman, and we all want to see the wicked get their just desserts! However, the truth of the matter is that it's far uglier than most of us are willing to admit! These two, poor young men have been brutalized and slaughtered time and again by THIS....so-called "DELIVERER OF JUSTICE"!! For the most petty of crimes. Are we just going to put the right to judge others for their crimes in the hands of any malicious psychopath who has the gall to put underwear on their head and call it a secret identity!?
-has a seat-
Mmmhm. Alright, Mister Wright. Your opening statement?
edited 28th Mar '12 6:51:56 PM by MacDuffy
("Well dang, I don't want to defend this guy. Still gotta try I guess.")
-gets up and walks around too-
I would like to remind the court that theft, of all things, is not a petty crime in any form sort or way. Theft is a crime that could very well ruin one's business or one's own personal finance. Splendid Squirrel is someone who can understand this and is attempting to help those two villainous boys to correct their ways. Even if said ways are rather... unorthodox, it is simply Splendid Squirrel's way of helping them mend their ways. Calling him psychopathic would be an incorrect accusation as he is simply helping the general public.
-sits back down-
("Wow that couldn't have sounded clumsier! This is what I get for just grasping at the bare knowledge of the case right off the bat.")
Ha ha, alright. And don't worry, in the Ace Attorney universe there are people who bring in whips, channel ghosts, and drink 17 cups of coffee in a single trial. Harvey Birdman ain't alone in crazy courtroom antics.
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's meanWell, for the boiling... My brother and I stole from various jewelry stores... and found Splendid's weakness somehow... I-I won't say what it is, s-so he won't get mad at me.... for the lava pit, we were tryin' to break into a safe... and for the super breath... we um... snuck into a comic convention for free...
Deer("Nothing can save this guy from the inhuman... inanimality of his actions. I'm still expected to try though...")
Yes, your honor. -begins to think about this music-
Now Lifty, you admit to crimes of robbery, yes?
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's meanWhether or not my client has sought help for their condition is irrelevant to this case!
edited 28th Mar '12 7:43:10 PM by MacDuffy
Au contrare! I find the fact that the client has never sought help for his Kleptomania to be imperative to the case!
If the client had never once sought help, it is very likely he never would have suffered the gruesome fate(s) he had. (is instinctively doing the defense thing)
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean

Hides behind Lifty- He's looking at us.... Y-you think we're really safe if he decides to get violent here?
Yeah yeah, I'm sure...
Deer