I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say you're not a human at all.
And really just some sort of immortal, possibly cosmic, entity.
Which is cool and all, 'cause y'know- I'm an alien from an advanced almost-entirely-dead species.
1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this postNah, it was being unable to tan due to having UV-Proof skin, and our early civilisations all having the same doomsday event prophesied.
They just thought there were different signs in the lead-up.
Oh, and that prophecy's me, which kinda sucked for my childhood.
1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post"Here's an idea - instead of trying to kill the child prophesized to end the world, and pissing him off, why not hide that fact, keep him happy and maybe he won't crack the planet in half?"
"Will do."
-Smug, confident, dark-themed, wearing a noticeably revealing outfit, Eires she's like an anti-Ori-
That's what they did when killing me didn't work!
I was part of the Pharaoh's court and everything. -wait, 'Pharaoh'?-
They didn't tell me anything about the prophecy, and it was kept in the only part of the library I wasn't allowed in.
Sure it was pampered and a life of luxury, but I knew everyone around me were just terrified to be near me.
I could read it off of them.
1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post-Doesn't know Earth history at all-
"Weird name for an alien ruler. Y'know, you needed like...a friend who didn't know or something. Like, you should write a book or something that's like your childhood, but the book version of you finds a friend who doesn't know and it's like, some secret friendship shit that they keep going no matter what the prophecy shit says."
-She pauses for a second-
"...Hell, I'd write that."
Yep, "Get the fuck off our planet" was their response.
And then while I was travelling, a solar flare hit and scorched the entire planets' surface.
Leaving only burnt crumbling ruins, the records they loved to keep buried inside, and zero life.
Oh, and myself as the only surviving member of the Ahxenite Species.
1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this postHey, I got a new toy out of it, I figure we're good. Shame Panfrost didn't get his bones fixed but I guess it's out of our hands.
-Gracia yawns as she awakes-
-Then gives a startled scream at the wolves-
What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?Oh, and the most hilarious part of this?
I could've stopped that Solar Flare from hitting the planet if I was there.
I just fly in front of it, and take the hit.
Boom- Ahxen is saved.
But because they thought I'd destroy them, they sent me away- ensuring their destruction.
1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post

"Can't say I have, buddy of yours?"