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Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327226: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:35:29 PM

   "Can't say I have, buddy of yours?"   

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327227: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:36:10 PM

I guess so!

But try not to go too close to it.

Tends to sting people a little bit.

Big hot spicy meatballs of the cosmos.

I remember my encounter with it... not that well, actually.

I was a baby at the time.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1327228: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:36:15 PM

"Hammer? Meet nail."

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327229: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:36:49 PM

   "Gotta say, opinion of my...'bodyguards' has been kinda mixed around here."   

"Mhm, I was a kid first time I got close to one, too. Well...'kid,' by my definition...it's weird."

Edited by Randomman5 on Aug 1st 2018 at 10:40:20 AM

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327230: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:39:11 PM

I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say you're not a human at all.

And really just some sort of immortal, possibly cosmic, entity.

Which is cool and all, 'cause y'know- I'm an alien from an advanced almost-entirely-dead species.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327231: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:40:22 PM

"Well that was the most improbably lucky guess I've heard all week. Is luck your species's weird alien power? Every species has got one."

ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1327232: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:41:07 PM

"...bodyguards?"

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327233: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:41:38 PM

   "The wolves aren't just for show, fangy."   

-Sure enough, she has a lupine posse with her-

Edited by Randomman5 on Aug 1st 2018 at 10:43:48 AM

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327234: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:42:33 PM

Nah, it was being unable to tan due to having UV-Proof skin, and our early civilisations all having the same doomsday event prophesied.

They just thought there were different signs in the lead-up.

Oh, and that prophecy's me, which kinda sucked for my childhood.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1327235: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:43:02 PM

"Ah- I resent that. Thankyouverymuch. Them. She might as well be one. Hangs out with the locals all the fucking time."

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327236: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:43:21 PM

"Ouch, I can imagine. Not a lotta friends? Been there, it blows."

-Sips an iced coffee she had sitting on the coffee table (hence the name)-

   "Huh, should introduce us sometime. I've got an appreciation for them, after an...acquaintance of mine."   

Edited by Randomman5 on Aug 1st 2018 at 10:43:37 AM

ImmortalFaust sess10n status: l0st from a spaceship in hell Since: Nov, 2013 Relationship Status: Faithful to 2D
sess10n status: l0st
#1327237: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:45:58 PM

"Literally jus- just fuckin' run around in the woods with them- your- uh, bodyguards. Can almost guarantee results."

[forum cryptid: it/it's]
RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327238: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:46:08 PM

I mean they literally tried to kill me as a baby, I read the records.

Throwing me into the sun was the last move before they tried appeasement.

I can't remember how I came back from that though...

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327239: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:48:42 PM

"Here's an idea - instead of trying to kill the child prophesized to end the world, and pissing him off, why not hide that fact, keep him happy and maybe he won't crack the planet in half?"

   "Will do."   

-Smug, confident, dark-themed, wearing a noticeably revealing outfit, Eires she's like an anti-Ori-

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327240: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:51:31 PM

That's what they did when killing me didn't work!

I was part of the Pharaoh's court and everything. -wait, 'Pharaoh'?-

They didn't tell me anything about the prophecy, and it was kept in the only part of the library I wasn't allowed in.

Sure it was pampered and a life of luxury, but I knew everyone around me were just terrified to be near me.

I could read it off of them.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
Trip Since: Mar, 2012
#1327241: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:55:04 PM

Trudy! Is mainrooming

........... snoozing right in the center.

she's drooling.

Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327242: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:56:16 PM

-Doesn't know Earth history at all-

"Weird name for an alien ruler. Y'know, you needed like...a friend who didn't know or something. Like, you should write a book or something that's like your childhood, but the book version of you finds a friend who doesn't know and it's like, some secret friendship shit that they keep going no matter what the prophecy shit says."

-She pauses for a second-

"...Hell, I'd write that."

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327243: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:58:13 PM

Well I mean, I found out about the prophecy eventually when I was a teenager.

I confronted everyone about it, and I asked them what they wanted me to do to ease their fears.

I want you to guess what their response was.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327244: Aug 1st 2018 at 7:59:04 PM

"...They wanted you to leave."

foxmccloud4387 Since: Mar, 2011
#1327245: Aug 1st 2018 at 8:00:15 PM

(Felicia!)

(is just standing in front of Trudy, staring at her)

...

Tatsumar Since: Mar, 2011
#1327246: Aug 1st 2018 at 8:00:31 PM

...

-Gafinilan looks at Xenos with weary eyes-

<To be shunned by your own kind like that, at that age...>

<... It's not honorable to exile someone for something they couldn't control.>

Edited by Tatsumar on Aug 1st 2018 at 11:02:31 AM

Deer
RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327247: Aug 1st 2018 at 8:00:39 PM

Yep, "Get the fuck off our planet" was their response.

And then while I was travelling, a solar flare hit and scorched the entire planets' surface.

Leaving only burnt crumbling ruins, the records they loved to keep buried inside, and zero life.

Oh, and myself as the only surviving member of the Ahxenite Species.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post
SR3NORMANDY Problem Child from N/A - In constant flux Since: Jul, 2012
Problem Child
#1327248: Aug 1st 2018 at 8:01:52 PM

Hey, I got a new toy out of it, I figure we're good. Shame Panfrost didn't get his bones fixed but I guess it's out of our hands.

-Gracia yawns as she awakes-

-Then gives a startled scream at the wolves-

What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?
Randomman5 "The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-" Since: Oct, 2011 Relationship Status: Forming Voltron
"The Perfect Villain Doesn't Exi-"
#1327249: Aug 1st 2018 at 8:01:57 PM

-...She doesn't say anything but starts typing is she writing this down she's writing this down-

RegularDefender MAYONNAISE from Blighty Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: Singularity
MAYONNAISE
#1327250: Aug 1st 2018 at 8:04:59 PM

Oh, and the most hilarious part of this?

I could've stopped that Solar Flare from hitting the planet if I was there.

I just fly in front of it, and take the hit.

Boom- Ahxen is saved.

But because they thought I'd destroy them, they sent me away- ensuring their destruction.

1.5 imperial gallons of tea were consumed during the writing of this post

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