Wow, you put a lot of effort into the concept.
Unless they have some way of learning humans don't have, the educational level achievable in their short childhood is going to be very limited. Of course having a failure = death policy will help, but technology beyond cavemen level could be a challenge for them.
Falliworm = this
? If so, damn. How would they do it?
It might be difficult for them to avoid being hated by pretty much everyone with that attitude. Maybe they don't care.
edited 21st Feb '11 6:44:29 PM by FrodoGoofballCoTV
"Wow, you put a lot of effort into the concept Unless they have some way of learning humans don't have, the educational level achievable in their short childhood is going to be very limited. Of course having a failure = death policy will help, but technology beyond cavemen level could be a challenge for them.
Falliworm = this? If so, damn. How would they do it?
It might be difficult for them to avoid being hated by pretty much everyone with that attitude. Maybe they don't care."
Thanks for the praise.
Hmm, I never really considered the education problem. And...*facepalm*!
I just looked over post I made and I forgot to mention that they didn't exactly develop the tech for cities on their own. They had a little help from an outside society. As for before that well they were just simple travelers before. They spun or traded for clothes and usually made weapons from bones or found them on the corpses of other travelers until this society helped them(though only by doing little things like teaching them to farm, forge bronze, and make bricks for houses).
I suppose after that a litle more clarification is needed. The cities of Asena and Femopylae, while still enforcing that all children be trained as soldiers(mainly because of frequent raids by the Spalmans), do allow the pursuit of science and arts so they have some advances. Especially the Femopylaeans who've created a(fairly accurate) calendar and encourage artists to trade their wares to visiting merchants in the hopes they'll exchange technological secrets in return. They learned how to make halberds because of this. Note that this doesn't break the no accepting help rule as the other races are legitamately stronger than them because of these secrets. Once they reach the same tech level though all bets are off.
The failure equals death policy stems from the fact that the desert they live in is a very dangerous place(Falliworms aren't all that't out there) and any child that can't pull their own weight from a very young age is nothing but a liability. This mentality didn't die with the advent of cities and more sophisticated weapons because of the frequent raids from other City-states.
That's a pretty accurate portrayal of what they would look like only they'd be a little bigger. Some clarification on them. Falliworms are essentially sand worms(how do I post a link to the trope?). They live in special regions of the desert, called Tromos, for reasons unknown and generally live alone. Their common name is Tremor Worm because of their burrowing habits but they eventually got referred to as the Amzari word for man(Falliworm:Fal-eh-worm) because of...well just say the word out loud and it should become obvious.
They're omnivorous and can burrow through the coarse sand because they ingest minerals while digging which are used to create a hard outer shell. While hunting they pull back a portion of their exoskeleton and extend a long tube like projection(similar to the tongue of the worm in that video) that senses vibrations from creatures moving on the surface. Because the projection needs to sense vibrations it is the only unarmored region of the body.
Amzari children don't actually have to kill the Falliworm. All they have to do is somehow expose this region either through pulling the flap back or using one of the supplies they requested to break it(showing either strength or resourcefulness, both good traits in a warrior). Once they expose the tentacle they need only use a sword or knife to cut it off while hanging on to the creature for dear life. After it's cut off the worm will just retreat from pain and die eventually because it can't find prey easily without the tube.
As for being hated well they pretty much are. Because they're an all female species they don't reproduce through fertilization by a sperm(though they still need a male for sexual intercourse, I'm kinda working on the reproduction thing). Stemming from this they see men as nothing more than objects meant for bearing children and the male ruled societies around them as backward. The men also find them highly attractive and exotic but the Amzari can't really return their feelings because of their code which states they must first be defeated. In truth the most standard Amzari union is a relationship between women.
If an Amzari did truly fall in love with a man and wasn't 100% the dominant partner in the relationship(or even just saw him as an equal) she'd be ostracized and banished into the desert with her love. To them she's a traitor who approves of their honorless(to them) weak society. One of the reasons they're seen as weak is because most other governments are hereditary monarchies implying the King could be a weak idiot and still get the job of leading.
- whew* long post. I'll post info about one of the other races or creatures once I work out all the details.
edited 21st Feb '11 7:53:54 PM by DemonMajora

I recently decided to start creating a fantasy world and would like some critique on one of the races I have. Hopefully this will help me improve it.
Name: Amzari
An all female race that inhabits the desert of the continent Terrinor. For ages they wandered the desert as nomadic clans/tribes until one clan, the Amzari, settled down and constructed a city-state called Femopylae. After several centuries other city-states, the two most prominent being Asena and Spalma, arose. Despite this Femopylae remained at the height of Amzari culture and learning for many centuries.
The Amzari are a very violent race. While they try to channel their agression against their enemies most of the time they can turn it against their kinsmen if necessary. One of the most common examples is the killing of a leader that is presumed to be too weak to lead anymore. These actions aren't abhored, in fact they're considered a noble service to the community.
While this belief might seem rather alien to us it makes perfect sense from their viewpoint. The other city-states would rip them to shreds if they didn't have a strong army but a physically weak ruler is just as bad. When two Amzari groups fight to a standstill the way to break the tie is to have the leaders, who should be the rulers by virtue of being the strongest, fight a battle to the death. If the leader of Spalma, for an example, defeated the leader of Asena then the Amzari's code of honor dictates that the Asenans submit to any desires the Spalmans have without the slightest arguement. Because of this the Amzari silently encourage backstabbing though only if it's done in a quiet one on one manner such as a secret duel. The challenger, if they win, is enthusiastically accepted for removing the decrepit weak ruler while if they lose they're dismissed as being too weak and not knowing their place.
As you can gather Amzari culture revolves almost entirely around strength. To them being weak or flawed is essentially marking a being as unfit for life. It is because of this that any babies born are inspected for birth defects such as atrophied limbs or extra/missing digits. Babies that pass the test are permitted to live though certain actions, such as coughing or constantly showing a lack of coordination, can get a child killed if they recur too frequently.
Amzari age differently from humans, living to be only about forty years old. They make up for this by growing to maturity at a surprisingly fast pace. Here's a simple breakdown of Amzari ages and rough equivalents in humans(I also listed important life events, note: Day here is defined as a 36 rather than 24 hour increment):
9 month gestation period-Three and a half/ 15 week gestation period
One day old: Amzari is inspected for defects. Any that don't pass the test are left in the desert by the nearest Tromos(more on them later)
Six months old(Human)-Roughly two for Amzari: Child is placed in front of the mother who swings a pole around to see how well they can track its movements. If the child doesn't pay attention it is hit over the head so it can start to learn to expect the unexpected.
One and a half years old-About Five for an Amzari: The basics of fighting are explained to the child and the mother instructs them on how to properly wield a weapon. If the child cannot seem to get a handle on how to use the weapon(usually they wait about a month or two) they are tied up and taken to the nearest Tromos and left to die.
Two and a half years old-Eight to nine: Child begins to receive formal teaching from a professional, such as a war hero. At this point some Amzari, such as those in Asena and Femopylae, are given the opportunity to pursue other areas of interest such as scientific or artistic pursuits. However they still have to be trained as soldiers in case the need ever arises.
Five years-Thirteen to fifteen: Child undergoes puberty. They're given a weapon, shield, and any other supplies(totaling no more than ten pounds) they think they'll need and sent into the desert. From their home they head to the nearest Tromos which is an area that's known to be inhabitated by Tremor Worms(sometimes called Falliworms). Once there they must prove their worth to the tribe by killing the Tremor Worm and pulling a sensory organ that's used to feel vibrations from its head. After doing this and returning they're fully accepted into Amzari society and can pursue any path they want though being a soldier is heavily encouraged.
Six Years old-Fully Developed mentally and physically, appear to be between 18 and 20
Just one more small thing. A little earlier I listed an Amzari code of honor. Here are the commandments of the code(more fancier/poetic phrasings will be thought up at some point):
1. Only the strong must rule, if a rat rules the tribe but a cat serves him than the cat is obligated to usurp the rat.
2. Surrender in the face of danger must never be accepted, any who beg for mercy must be slaughtered for they are an insult to all that live. Only those who are conquered through violent thrust of blade can be defeated and keep their honor.
3. When two forces of equal power clash and a stalemate is reached only one course of action can be taken. The leaders of the two forces must fight to the death. The subjects of the defeated ruler must then surrender to the victors demands without a fight for following the guidance of sucha weak ruler
4. Fraternizing with the unnative Falliworms(in this context it means men) is to be engaged solely under express permission from the ruler or if the man conquers the individual in some other way.
5. Finally help must never be asked for if the individual being asked is weaker than the asker. Requiring the help of a lower lifeform is a blow to ones honor. If the individual is stronger than they must use their help only until they surpass them in power, after which it is their obligation to end the alliance, through violence if necessary.
And I'll wrap this up with some general facts:
Height-About 5' 8"
Skin-Varies from bronze to beige
Hair-dark red to brown. Orange occurs rarely.
Main Weapon-Spears or Halberds
Government structure-Usually democratic with a parliament type group but the ruler has the final say and can overturn any of their declarations.
Lifespan-About forty years
So that's it. I welcome any and all suggestions.