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If you're atheist and your significant other was religious...

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MRDA1981 Tyrannicidal Maniac from Hell (London), UK. Since: Feb, 2011
Tyrannicidal Maniac
#51: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:18:40 AM

On a more serious note, why would an unattractive philosophical proposition suddenly become appealing when proposed by an attractive messenger?

Enjoy the Inferno...
Ardiente I won't kill you. Since: Jan, 2011
I won't kill you.
#52: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:24:34 AM

As of the graces thing... people shouldn't force their rituals on others. In my Zen dojo, they prostrate themselves before the Budha at regular intervals  *

. For a Muslim, prostration is a big deal. You don't prostrate yourself before anyone but God. I am not a Muslim anymore, but I still refuse to prostrate myself, especially before a sculpture man who just happened to have been very wise. And it's totally fine.

And as for religion... luckily over here religious people are extremely rare. In fact I am seen as weirder for caring about atheism and for my exceptionally (to my surprise) forward views on matters of morality, sexuality, society and gender. At least when I was a Muslim they had me pegged under a label, but right now I am a Humanoid Abomination, something they have never seen before.

It's unnerving.

"Sweets are good. Sweets are justice."
TheGloomer Since: Sep, 2010
#53: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:30:52 AM

I think there are scriptural provisions in the New Testament for relationships between Christians and atheists. Unfortunately, I can't remember the facts precisely, and I wouldn't want to misrepresent them by posting what I think might be said. I must leave it to some one more knowledgable about Biblical references to locate the exact chapter and verse.

Of course, if one partner should prove intractable in the matter, the other should leave and move on to somebody better. Quite simple to solve.

BobbyG vigilantly taxonomish from England Since: Jan, 2001
vigilantly taxonomish
#54: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:45:05 AM

On a more serious note, why would an unattractive philosophical proposition suddenly become appealing when proposed by an attractive messenger?

Assuming the person considering said proposition isn't incredibly shallow? It wouldn't.

But you're assuming that the philosophical proposition in question really is all that unattractive, and not merely something which the person considering said proposition hadn't previously considered.

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pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#55: Feb 18th 2011 at 3:58:43 AM

I know a couple consisting of an atheist/agnostic and a Christian, and they've been together five years now. Especially impressive given her insistence on "no sex before marriage".

So it's not impossible, but it's a big commitment.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
SilentStranger Trivia Depository from Parts Unknown (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
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#56: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:02:38 AM

^ ...wow, he must really fucking like her for that to work. Either that or she has a loose definition of what sex is.

pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#57: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:08:03 AM

Given that they don't even sleep in the same bed when one is around the other's house, not even that I'd say.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
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#58: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:08:52 AM

So... whats the point?

FurikoMaru Reverse the Curse from The Arrogant Wasteland Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
Reverse the Curse
#59: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:11:34 AM

Aww... that's sweet. In a sad kinda way, but sweet nonetheless.

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LoniJay from Australia Since: Dec, 2009 Relationship Status: Pining for the fjords
pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#61: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:21:35 AM

[up][up][up]

They're in love with each other?

I actually respect him a hell of a lot for making it work. I don't think I could.

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
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#62: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:26:03 AM

Me neither... though I dont really see much to respect there, it just seems pointless to me.

pagad Sneering Imperialist from perfidious Albion Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Sneering Imperialist
#63: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:28:55 AM

Why? They're in love with each other. He's willing to hold off having sex until they get married. They do everything else a couple in a relationship does other than sex. What's pointless about that?

With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.
BobbyG vigilantly taxonomish from England Since: Jan, 2001
vigilantly taxonomish
#64: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:29:21 AM

It's pointless to want to be with somebody you love (and therefore presumably care deeply about)?

ninja'd

edited 18th Feb '11 4:29:36 AM by BobbyG

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SilentStranger Trivia Depository from Parts Unknown (4 Score & 7 Years Ago)
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#65: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:36:40 AM

  • shrugs* I just have a hard time imagining a relationship I'd actually like enough to be willing to hold off sex in. Though maybe its different if you actually WANT to get married.

Clarste One Winged Egret Since: Jun, 2009 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
One Winged Egret
#66: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:46:37 AM

My father is an atheist and my mother is... I dunno... generically spiritual? Maybe Buddhist? It's hard to tell, because she doesn't talk about it much, so whenever she says something spiritual it comes out of nowhere and confuses me.

Anyway, they've been married for decades, so it doesn't seem to be a problem.

Metalhead467 Since: Feb, 2012
#67: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:50:58 AM

I wouldn't have any problem at all being with someone who's religious, as long as they don't constantly try to convert me or try to "save me from Hell" or something like that.

I'm as tolerant of the next guy, but that kind of thing is just disrespectful. If I was in a relationship with a Christian, I wouldn't be trying to prove to them that God doesnt exist, after all. As long as we can respect each other's beliefs, that would be enough for me.

Clarste One Winged Egret Since: Jun, 2009 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
One Winged Egret
#68: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:55:30 AM

But if you knew that your significant other was going to go to Hell, wouldn't you have a moral obligation to save them? It's like respecting someone's right to drown: it makes no sense.

Metalhead467 Since: Feb, 2012
#69: Feb 18th 2011 at 4:58:23 AM

Point.

I guess it would depend on how it was handled. If it was a constant thing, I feel like that could be a strain on the relationship if the differences in our spiritual beliefs were made such a big deal, even if it comes with the best intentions. If it's a problem that just comes up now and then, though, it wouldn't be a relationship killer.

edited 18th Feb '11 4:58:53 AM by Metalhead467

TheGirlWithPointyEars Never Ask Me the Odds from Outer Space Since: Dec, 2009
Never Ask Me the Odds
#70: Feb 18th 2011 at 5:18:15 AM

[up][up] That would depend upon the extent of their beliefs, though (not to mention the particular religion)... there seem to be a lot of agnostics who nevertheless have decided either atheism or religion makes sense for whatever reason.

I might get along with an agnostic theist. I would probably have many more problems with someone who was absolutely sure of their religion. For one thing, I would have to believe that their starting axioms are significantly different than mine.

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MRDA1981 Tyrannicidal Maniac from Hell (London), UK. Since: Feb, 2011
Tyrannicidal Maniac
#71: Feb 18th 2011 at 5:36:28 AM

Clarste, what if they want to drown?

Don't see any basis for a relationship there.

Enjoy the Inferno...
BobbyG vigilantly taxonomish from England Since: Jan, 2001
vigilantly taxonomish
#72: Feb 18th 2011 at 5:57:43 AM

If I was in a relationship and my SO wanted to drown I'd be pretty fucking concerned.

I assume most atheists don't actually plan on going to Hell, of course.

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Clarste One Winged Egret Since: Jun, 2009 Relationship Status: Non-Canon
One Winged Egret
#73: Feb 18th 2011 at 5:58:17 AM

Possibly. I just find the logic that we should all respect each other's freedom of religious choice somewhat confusing. If you seriously believe in something, shouldn't you act on it? Most people believe that they should not respect someone's right to commit suicide and ruin their family's lives, so why should religion behave differently? If you believe something is true, then act as if it is true.

MRDA1981 Tyrannicidal Maniac from Hell (London), UK. Since: Feb, 2011
Tyrannicidal Maniac
#74: Feb 18th 2011 at 6:05:14 AM

I agree with Clarste, though I'm glad the religious don't act on much of what they believe.

Two people with fundamentally differing philosophies: a bad idea as a long-term investment, methinks.

I think Depeche Mode generally have the right idea on this one.

Enjoy the Inferno...
neoYTPism Since: May, 2010
#75: Feb 18th 2011 at 6:50:01 AM

[up] [up] It's a matter of compromise, Clarste. The less aggressive religious influence in society is, the less it affects those of us who don't conform to their beliefs.


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