TVTropes Now available in the app store!
Open

Follow TV Tropes

Following

Need help polishing the basis of my "World Number 5"

Go To

ZnMk from Somewhere in my mind Since: Dec, 2010
#1: Feb 15th 2011 at 3:45:46 PM

OK, I started writing a futuristic story with magical technology and I need some advice about the basis of this world. You can laugh if you want

Basically, in this world exists something called Techno Cores, they are crystal in a metallic mount that are incrusted in the hearts of the subject and began encasing the heart with tentacle-looking wires.

Then it began pulsing magical electromagnetic waves that allow the subject to "equip" several pieces of armor (this selective electromagnetism only affect the armor parts, and not other metallic objects). The pieces of the armors then connects with the nerve terminals and creates a temporally magical synapse with the heart. Because of that, the armor itself cause a great deal of tension/pressure on the heart causing instant death, thus granting them with several abilities AND occasional cardiac arrest as a secondary effect.

This is the part where I have trouble. The Techno Cores were a secret military program but they have a lot of problems during the development (being implanted in a heart itself was a problem to begin with) and they stopped the development.

Some of the techno freaks in charge of the development sold the basis of the program to the black market and THEY were offered the chance of resume the program with the mafia/underground criminals monetary back-up.

The result, almost every criminal now have special armors immune to real life non-magical weapons (Although they could die with just a scare >.>)

The International Police, assuming that these armored criminals can only be defeated with another Techno Core, went to some black-market seller and beat the crap out of him to get the full program and began implanting their squads with Techno Cores.

And thus the war begun.

So, what do you think? Is something that needs to be changed or explained?

BTW, this IS the background, not the plot >.>

edited 15th Feb '11 3:49:09 PM by ZnMk

SandJosieph Since: Dec, 2009
#2: Feb 15th 2011 at 8:25:13 PM

My first thought was "Riven?" since it's based around the number 5.

breadloaf Since: Oct, 2010
#3: Feb 16th 2011 at 12:43:01 PM

I think it looks good but just one thing.

My only issue is that a mafia group wouldn't be sufficiently powerful to advance military hardware like that. I would expect something of an intelligence agency to do that and then sell it on the black market, arming up criminals in said country just to stir the pot. It is either that or your country has a serious crime problem.

edited 16th Feb '11 12:43:25 PM by breadloaf

ZnMk from Somewhere in my mind Since: Dec, 2010
#4: Feb 17th 2011 at 10:16:37 AM

^Thanks, the Intelligence Agency seems better than the mafia thing; besides, that would allow me to twist more the conflict in this world. And yes, the whole world is a huge Crapsack World

edited 17th Feb '11 10:16:57 AM by ZnMk

Add Post

Total posts: 4
Top